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My estimate is that 95% of adults have trouble remembering the names of strangers they meet.
When I ask attendees in my seminars and workshops "Who among you have trouble remembering names?" Almost all hands go up.
5 main reasons for this problem:
- Strangers too often don't say their name clearly.
- Most times you don't see the name unless there is a name badge or they hand you a business card. (Because we are predominantly visual learners, not seeing impairs remembering.)
- We are thinking of what we're going to say instead of listening carefully.
- We don't repeat the name often or long enough to get it into long-term memory.
- We tell others "I'm not good at remembering names." Such self-talk becomes true.
Simple ways to solve the problem:
2. When meeting a person you don't know, but whose name you want to remember, repeat their name at least 10 times silently while listening to the answer they give you to an open question such as "What is your work and the kind of challenges you have to deal with?" or "What part of town do you live in, and what is that neighborhood like?"
Repeating the name silently "inside your head" for one minute will store the name in your long-term memory so you can remember it later. You can also say the name aloud a few times during this first conversation.
2. See the name by looking at their business card, and if they don't have a card handy, ask them to print their name on the back of your business card or in a small notebook you carry. Most of us are primarily visual learners and seeing the name enhances our remembering it.
3. Change your negative self-talk from "I can't remember names" to "I am now able to remember names with my new method."
Practice this method at social events and business mixers when you want to remember any person's name. Installing this method into your routine and seeing how well it works will remove awkwardness and build your confidence.
Note: If you already have a fail-safe method of remembering names, continue to use it if you wish. I myself like a simple method like the one I recommend and have found other methods - such as pairing a name with a person's physical features - rather difficult to use.
Until next week,
Loren
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