Today's nugget question: "Are you practicing to improve your conversation skills, or to reinforce bad habits?"
If "to improve," here's what you'll need to do:
- Find good models to emulate, the most skillful conversers you can observe.
- Identify skilled conversers to interact with.
When tennis champion Andre Agassi was a boy, his father had him play against adults at the tennis club. Andre got better playing with (and beating) experienced grown-ups.
Learning a second language? My army buddy Joe gained fluency in Italian by spending time with Italians in Vicenza. Most other soldiers stayed in their comfort zones, playing cards in the clubs and avoiding the challenges of learning a new language.
(Learning a higher level of skill in your own language a bit like learning a second language.)
If you spend your time with people with bad conversation habits ( like interrupting, dominating, and using meager vocabularies), you'll reinforce those bad habits.
But if your goal is to build skills, spend time with people who practice quality conversation.
Where do you find them? Try a "conversation café" (www.conversationcafe.org) or a Socrates Café (http://www.philosopher.org/en/Socrates_Cafe.html). Or join a book club or study group that explores ideas in a thoughtful way. For good speech models, join a Toastmasters club to improve both your confidence and talk. (http://www.toastmasters.org/)
If you want to get better at any skill, engage people more skillful than yourself. Practice, by itself, doesn't make perfect. But "perfect practice makes perfect."
That's today's nugget: Practice the apprenticeship of observation. Learn from the best.
Until next week,
Loren
