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Do you know if you are expressing beatitudes or badditudes?
An attitude represents an individual's degree of like or dislike for something. Attitudes are generally positive or negative views of a person, place, thing, or event. Attitudes are judgments.
As I observe certain celebrities, politicians, and pundits, I wonder "Whatever happened to humility?" Full of themselves like Donald Trump, arrogant, dismissive, and self-righteous, they trumpet themselves both onstage and offstage. And some of these people are not even aware of the attitudes they give off in their behavior.
Etiquette expert Judith Martin, aka "Miss Manners, writes:
"It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help."
I like what psychologist and author Dr. Mardy Grothe concludes: "To boast of one's strength is an unmistakable sign of weakness."
In the 8 beatitudes that Jesus gave us in The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5, 3-12) one is "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth." (I used to think "meek" meant timid and weak. But later I learned he really meant "humble and open to learning.")
Here is a list of some great persons who manifested this humility and openness to learning in their attitudes:
Marcus Aurelius, St. Francis of Assisi, Albert Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci, Abraham Lincoln, Frederick Douglas, Jane Seymour, Louis Pasteur, Martin Luther King, Jr. Nicola Tesla, Florence Nightingale, Mother Teresa, Jane Goodall, Robert E. Lee, the Dalai Lama, Rev. Billy Graham, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela.
Other beatitudes that greatly impact human relations are "Blessed are the merciful" and Blessed are the
peacemakers."
Now, the opposite, examples of "badditudes":
--always assuming that there is something wrong with other people, and never yourself - If there's a problem, it's their fault not yours.
--being completely unwilling to behave in a way that might actually help to solve or improve a bad or unhappy situation.
-- being completely apathetic, uncaring or inconsiderate about the feelings of others or the effect of one's behavior on others.
Can a person change their attitudes? Yes. Sometimes only with difficulty, but yes.
Psychologist William James taught over 100 years ago:
"The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human can alter his life by altering his attitude." and
"It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult undertaking which, more than anything else, will determine its successful outcome."
What are some practical ways to change attitudes?
- Think like you want to be. Think kindness and you will become kind in your behavior. To say, as some do, "This is the way I am and will always be" is a false premise. They can change by choosing to change.
- Act "as if." For example, to be friendly and positive toward others, smile. Doing this has both physical and psychological effects.
- Model yourself after others who already have the attitudes you want to have.
- Get some coaching from a counselor or mentor. Feedback and support are helpful.
- Read uplifting books, articles, and scriptures. Listen to music and books that inspire you.
I have seen stubborn people make extraordinary changes of attitude when they get a wake-up call like a heart attack, being fired from a job for having "badditudes," or divorced by a spouse. Finally seeing the results of their behavior, they become open to change.
Ultimately, we can all change if we want to and choose to,knowing that "If it's to be, it's up to me."
Until next week,
Loren
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