1. Tell a Friend 

Please tell a friend about "Better Conversations." The more people I can reach with this newsletter, the more I can perform my mission, which is "to raise the standard of conversation in life."  You'll find a "Tell a Friend" link in this newsletter.  It takes you only seconds to do this.  Thanks to all who help.

"Never underestimate, never ever, ever, underestimate what you might be able to share in two minutes that can change lives forever."  

-Rev. Robin Webber in a 2003 sermon that used Lincoln's Gettysburg address as an example.

3.  The Friendly Grammarian 

What?  Split an infinitive? 

Finally, some relief from 19^th Century grammarians and many 20^th Century English teachers.   

Me?  I like to frequently split my infinitives instead of frequently not to split them.  If splitting is OK with Star Trek, it's OK with me:  The first sequence of the Star Trek television series:  "To boldly go where no man has gone before."  And, as author Raymond Chandler wrote in 1947, "When I split an infinitive, damn it, I split it so that it will stay split."

Meaning:  a flatterer, yes man, toady

Pronunciation:  SICK-uh-fant

Sometimes mispronounced as SYKE-uh-fant because the word is confused with PSY-chic and other words beginning with PSY.

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."  

--Groucho Marx

6. La Triviata Quiz 

How many feet are in one fathom?

a.     6  b. 12  c. 18  d. 24

(Check your answer at the end of today's article.)

"Praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind.  To be happy, rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."

   --Buddhist saying

8.  ARTICLE:  Quotes Add Spice to Talk 

Borrowing quotes can add interest to and punch up your verbal content.

Yes, I know that some of you avoid doing this because you want to be "original."   

My counsel:  Get over it.   

Many of the greatest speakers borrow from others.  Pastors and priests and rabbis, highly paid professional speakers, nationally-renowned talk show hosts, and entertainers of all kinds. Racounteurs tell stories they didn't write.  Even Jesus told parables that were not original with him.

Here is a menu of possibilities for borrowing:   

Humor

Most public libraries have collections of humor quotations, and you can also find dozens of free sites online from which you can select quotes.  Three factors to consider with humor:

1.    It's always appropriate to give credit.  Always.  Be a borrower, not a thief.

2.   It works best to give your source up front.  This sets up an expectation of humor.  Example:  "Bob Hope said the coldest winter he ever spent was a summer in Duluth."  (I've used this hundreds of times because I grew up near Duluth, and every time I received a chuckle.)

3.   In everyday conversation, you don't have time to prepare.  Therefore, you need to make a practice of collecting bits and pieces of humor and getting them into your long term memory.  Not jokes, but one-liners, puns, funny word-play, and short anecdotes.  I draw heavily from Mark Twain, both his funny language and his quirky anecdotes.   

Here's a great resource for spoken humor published by my friend John Kinde:  "Humor Power Tips" eZine.  It's free, 2x a month.  Subscribe at www.humorpower.com.

Wisdom  

Lots of compact wisdom comes in the form of proverbs and aphorisms.  For example, you can use quotes from The Bible and other scriptures.  Or choose the wisdom of Lao Tse, Socrates, and many other sages.  These wisdom pieces should be easily spoken by you and quickly grasped by the hearer.  If your quotations are obscure or opaque, they'll detract.  They should be a good fit for your conversation style.   

Politics

Quoting respected political figures like certain former presidents adds heft to your talk.  "As Abraham Lincoln said . . ." demands attention.  Sometimes a quotation might even be a bit cynical, but makes an important point.  "As former Speaker Sam Rayburn said to new members:  "To get along, go along."  Or as Senator Everett Dirksen famously said about budget processes:  "A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money."

You can find hundreds, even thousands, of such quotations in collections on the internet and in books.

Some excellent resources from my bookshelf:

"Worth Repeating:  More than 5,000 Classic and Contemporary Quotes" by Bob Kelly  (2003)

"Geary's Guide to the World's Great Aphorists," by James Geary. (2007)

"Reader's Digest Quotable Quotes:  Wit and Wisdom for all Occasions from America's Most Popular Magazine." (1997)

Any book of quotations by Dr. Mardy Grothe, including his most recent one, "Neverisms." (2011)  I have all six of his great books.

Now, when you borrow the humor and wisdom of others, you should not, repeat not, do this to show off.  Nobody likes a smarty-pants.  Borrow and use in order to spice up your conversation, that's all. It must be appropriate to your audience, and you must get out of the way of the genius you're quoting.

One final thought:  If using quotations is new to you, start small.  Apply the principles of kaizen, the Japanese method of taking small incremental steps to become familiar with a new behavior.  Wow!  Add one quotation a week and in 6 months you'll have 2 dozen to draw upon!

Until next week,

Loren 

How many feet are in one fathom?

Correct answer:  6 feet.