When you get together as family and friends for Thanksgiving,
you are so busy that you may not make room for talk. Hustle
and bustle in the kitchen can be exciting but hardly allows for
deeper talk.
Here are 4 conversations to consider having this Thanksgiving:
1. Make time for a walk with an elder for a slower, less hectic
quality talk. Or draw aside an elder, perhaps an aunt or uncle,
for a rich conversation. Ask them about most memorable Thanksgivings of times past. Ask them about their lives. Show real interest.
- Phone someone you've needed to thank for their friendship and support. A teacher? A pastor? A coach? An old friend? Perhaps in a quieter time during Thanksgiving week you'll think of various persons who have known you and helped you.
- My old friend Professor Sheron Dailey sent me this quotation
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous)
Take time to contact such an old friend and thank that person.
- Circle the family for story-sharing
Set aside an hour that allows your family or friends to
share stories of their lives. You can record these if you
wish and send the CDs or DVDs to those who couldn't
attend your gathering.
Or, to set the tone for the gathering, bring your
guests together and with one person acting as a
scribe, ask everyone to mention what they're
thankful for this year. Use a flip-chart or
a white board to list their items. You may
get hundreds of gratitude items in a half-hour.
Note: I have created a low-cost "Better Family
Conversation Kit" available on my Conversation
Products page at www.conversationmatters.com.
It's downloadable, and it's rich in ideas.
- Record your elders for posterity. With an audio recorder or a camcorder, you can easily record your elders one at a time in the manner perfected by Storycorps.org. You can find many intriguing questions at the Storycorps site. Then, for example, you can find a quiet, private place to turn on the recording equipment and ask questions that draw out many interesting stories.
I've often had people tell me regrets like this:
"I wish I'd asked my grandfather about his experience
emigrating to the U.S. from Latvia. Now he's gone,
and I'll never know." You can avoid those regrets by
recording these interviews at your family gatherings.
Best wishes to you all for a warm and grateful
Thanksgiving!
