Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. |
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This Week's Issue:
Oct 13, 2010 | | |
Hello again, subscriber friend!
This week's bonus issue shows you some advantages
of conversing while walking instead of sitting.
I hope you find value in these ideas.
loren@conversationmatters.com |
Today's Contents | |
(Words this issue: 964 Est. reading time: 3.5 minutes)
1. Thank You for Your Support!
2. Conversation Quotation
3. Suggest Better Conversation Week product
4. The Joy of Words:
5. Jest Words
6. Self-assessments for awareness
7. Article: How to Walk Your Talk |
1. Thank You for Your Abundant Support!
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I could hardly keep up with the wishes of support
that poured in for me in the past few weeks.
I am buoyed by your notes and also by some practical wisdom you've taken time to share. To your dozens and dozens of kind readers who offered support, I quote Shakespeare from his play Twelfth Night, Act 3, Scene 3: "I can no other answer make but thanks, and thanks, and ever thanks."
In gratitude, I offer you this "bonus issue" of a slightly revised and steadily popular article I published a few years ago. I hope you find it stimulating and valuable.
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2. Conversation Quotation | |
"Just because we increase the speed of information doesn't mean we can increase the speed of decisions. Pondering, reflecting and ruminating are undervalued skills in our culture."
--Dale Dauten
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3. Better Family Conversation Week, Nov. 22-28, 2010 | |
In 2002 we celebrated the first annual national "Better
Conversation Week" to stimulate meaningful family
communication during a time when multi-generational
gatherings take place across the U.S. Each year since then this holiday week is posted in Chase's Calendar of Events.
A set of guidelines and practical tools to support a rich
time for sharing stories and experiences during your
annual get-together is available at the "conversation products" link on my website, www.conversationmatters.com.
For a small cost you can get an electronic copy of the "Better Family Conversation Kit" and use its materials at family gatherings and reunions. (Read the product description on the website.)
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4. The Joy of Words | |
I recently re-encountered a wonderful book by James Lipton,
host of the TV show "Inside the Actors Studio" and author of many books and screen plays. Its title: "An Exaltation of Larks" (1991).
Author Lipton has assembled a vast array of "collective nouns"
for many themes. Some he gathered from the historical archives of the English language and some he invented.
Here are some of my favorites:
An ostentation of peacocks
A piddle of puppies
A battery of rams
A smorgasbord of Swedes
A fifth of Scots
An uppity of snobs
A sneer of butlers
A stall of procrastinators
A pitfall of fine print
An odyssey of luggage
You may enjoy spending some joyful time reading
this wonderful collection of word-play. Check your
public library for this fine and funny book. |
5. Jest Words: 2 Laws | |
Law of Probability
"The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act."
Law of Close Encounters
"The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with."
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6. Self-Assessments for Conversation Awareness | |
My website has a "Conversation Mastery Self-test" with 25
proficiencies which you can rate yourself and score. It's
easy to do in a few minutes, and almost everyone learns
something valuable about their level of conversation skill.
You may bring a skill into your awareness and decide to make a change.
Go to www.conversationmatters.com and click on Self-Tests link.
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7. Article: How to Walk Your Talk | |
You may have missed this article when I first published
it a few years ago. It continues to be republished in other blogs and newsletters, and I got the idea to make it available to many readers who subscribed after I first published it as "Walk the Talk."
How to Walk Your Talk
Most conversations seem to be carried on while people aren't moving. Instead, they are seated around a table, in a restaurant booth, on a park bench, or at an office desk. Does their being sedentary affect the quality of communication?
Probably, yes. For example, persons seated across from one another may be more confrontational. As well, people seated may be more "fixed" in their viewpoints, just as they are fixed in their seats. Furthermore, where you sit often signals who has more power. The one at the head of the table tends to be the chairperson or the boss. Spacing and seating like this are concerns of the science of proxemics devised by anthropologist Edward T. Hall and explained in his classic book, The Hidden Dimension.
What, if any, might be the advantages of talking while walking?
1. When persons walk together, side by side, they almost always walk in rhythm, almost like a dance. When "in sync," we humans feel more similar and collaborative and thus more prone to common understanding and agreement. That's a plus.
2. Talking while walking side-by-side has the effect of diffusing intensity because we're not looking directly at each other. Because we must look where we're stepping, our full attention can't be on the other person. This lessened attention can also be positive, at least in certain situations.
3. When we are walking, we are not only getting some exercise, but also our bodies are releasing "good chemicals" - the endorphins that lift our mood. (Physicians typically prescribe "take a walk in the park" for patients who suffer from depression.) As well, even gentle exercise like walking can have the effect of raising the serotonin level in one's system, the result being an enhancement of mood and reduction of anger and aggression. Certainly, talking is more congenial when we're in a good mood.
4. Walking in nature can be especially powerful in stimulating good feelings. Strolling through a rose garden, down a lushly tree-lined path, or in a redwood forest gives us awesome beauty and may induce a broader perspective on differences we may have with others.
5. For those who might think that to talk about serious topics we must be seated, as at a conference table or in a classroom, I'll remind you of Jesus and Buddha, who taught their disciples while walking. Also, the "peripatetic school" of Aristotle and his own teacher, Plato, known for discussing big ideas while walking around. In modern times, history describes significant diplomatic negotiations that took place during "a walk in the woods."
6. Finally, I have often observed "mall walking" by small groups of friends. (Back in Las Vegas, far too hot for walking outside in the summertime, shopping malls allow these groups to walk for exercise before stores open.) These groups are not only exercising, but they're creating lively social events. Everyone's walking, and most walkers are talking. The socializing seems to be more lively and fun than if they were seated in a coffee shop.
I hope this short article has given you some good reasons for "walking your talk." For certain kinds of conversations, doing so has its advantages. |
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Loren Ekroth ©2010, all rights reserved
Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.
Contact at Loren@conversationmatters.com
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