"Listening: The Forgotten Skill" is not only a book
title (1995). It's the truth.
If you want to leverage your interpersonal skills, set
aside one normal weekday and do these 2 things:
1. Observe your habitual tendencies to listen (or
not listen because you're talking or your attention is
elsewhere,) and
2. Give the gift of attentive listening to others on this day.
Let it be OK not to share your opinion or point of view; not
to argue; not to interrupt; not to say "Me, too."
Dozens of experts agree that listening is one of the most underrated and least practiced conversation skills. (Including me.)
A few days ago we observed the birthday of that great
American, Henry David Thoreau. Here's what he wrote
about being listened to:
"The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought , and attended to my answer."
Henry David Thoreau, 1817 - 1862
We've also been honoring the 50th anniversary of the classic novel by Harper Lee, "To Kill a Mockingbird." Here's what a character in that powerful book had to say about listening:
"You never really understand a person
until you consider things from his point of view."
(Lawyer Atticus Finch speaking)
Finally, since the conversation doesn't have to be all about me
or you, we can make our priority #1 an attempt to understand the other person. As Stephen Covey wrote in his modern classic, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,"
"Seek first to understand and then to be understood."
So, on the day you choose to increase your awareness of
and skill in listening,
Make no judgments
Don't interrupt others
Don't finish another's sentences
Then people will feel much safer and more comfortable.
