Recently I drove 2,700 miles across most of the U.S. from Las Vegas to Kingston, New York. This trip was purely practical -- to get me and some precious cargo to my new residence. No tourism, no recreation.
- Most interactions I had were with service personnel at restaurants, motels, and rest stops. Those were almost always perfunctory, even if I was hungry for a little chat after hours on the interstate highways. The people I met stayed very much within their limited roles, very scripted, quick with their learned lines such as "Find everything you wanted?" and "Have a good one!" at my departure.
Exception: When I had to show my Nevada driver's license, some would say: "Wow! Las Vegas! I've always wanted to go there. What's it like? Then I'd share my impressions of living there for 10 years. That was kind of fun for me.
2. The smaller the towns, the friendlier and more helpful the people. Along the way, I pulled off into small towns like Warren and Niles, Ohio. In such towns, folks were neighborly and knowledgeable about their towns and the surrounding geography. "You should see the President McKinley Memorial," several said. Compared to the personnel at highway rest stops, people on the streets of small towns in Iowa, Utah, Ohio were refreshingly friendly and engaging.
3. The closer I got going east to New York state, the
faster was the rate of speech and the less personal
the interaction. Utah and midwestern states like
Nebraska and Iowa seemed to offer more "down home"
neighborliness. For example, older men in bib overalls
were unfailingly friendly and helpful, and some of the
waitresses bragged about their restaurant's specialty
such as "deep-dish apple pie!" Then, if I asked about
the surrounding area, most could fill me in with specifics
like "John Wayne was born 4 miles from here."
Most of my time I was merely driving, driving to a new chapter in a new life in a new place. To have deep and quality conversation requires time and the right occasion, both of which are absent in the hurry-up world of gas stations and chain restaurants. I understand that. If you're just passing through, you'll be treated with civility as a passerby, but not as a person worthy of the effort to engage.
