When I was a kid, I loved Cracker Jacks as much for the prizes inside as for the caramel corn and peanuts. Nowadays, the great prizes of yesteryear are no longer to be found. Probably because the prizes then (like jacks and a ball or a whistle) had some exposure to legal liability, they've been replaced by little paper prizes with un-funny jokes.
By analogy to "free prize inside," here's the conversation principle:
When you share something others deem valuable, they will want to hear you.
Incentives are attractive. When sharing value, you reward other conversers. The principle: "What gets rewarded gets done."
Conversely, if you share only empty small talk, others will have little or no interest in listening. No incentives, no interest.
What kinds of conversational incentives can you offer?
- Humor. If you are light-hearted and bring some gentle humor to your conversations, you provide some moments that lift others' spirits. You do not have to tell well-rehearsed jokes, but you can inject some funny perspectives, or perhaps quotations, or maybe word-play. Of course, your humor must be appropriate to the situations.
- Valuable, practical information, such as
--Where to find bargains. (My friend David Tasaka is known as "the frugality guru" because he always has fresh ideas on where to get the best deals, especially for technology products.)
--Business opportunities such as marketing strategies,
or where to find new clients or customers or talent.
And dozens of other possibilities.
3. --Recreation options. Movies to see, concerts or games to attend. Tours and cruises. Outdoor sports.
Personally, I have been inspired to travel to places I barely knew about because an acquaintance told me of their own experiences. In my early years, I knew a few men who had information on the best fishing spots or the best lures to use, and I was eager to get their insider tips.
4--New Knowledge. Among our friends and acquaintances, we may know some real experts who are willing to tell us what they know about subjects that interest us. These people have done the intellectual work and digested important ideas and perspectives. We expand our understanding by spending time with them and showing our interest.
5.--Networkers who say "You've got to meet my friend. He's been developing programs for knowledge management, just like you are doing. I'll get us together for lunch, if you like." Offering connections like this can be extremely valuable, especially for business people and professionals.
6. Great stories, great storytellers. What a prize a story can be! Almost everyone likes a well-told story of adventure or inspiration. Among professional speakers, story-telling is a core skill. In organizations, story-telling is often the superior way to convey complex knowledge. (See book: "The Springboard: How Storytelling Ignites Action in Knowledge-Era Organizations," by Stephen Denning.) In everyday life, your telling a fascinating or funny or inspirational story can be a real gift to listeners and provide them with an incentive to listen.
These six are among many prizes you can offer during conversation. As my friend, speaker and entrepreneur Tom Antion says, "No one ever lost credibility by being interesting."
Now, one caveat: Even if you've got excellent information to share with others, check to see if they want to hear it. You can pre- qualify others by saying, "I just tried a new restaurant that opened last month. Would you like me to tell you about it?"
Be a spy for interesting information that others may want to know about. Then, when appropriate, share what you have found.
