Better Conversations Newsletter
"Better Conversations Make a Better World"
Loren Ekroth, Ph.D.
 DrConversation
 
aka "Dr.Conversation" 
Improve with Improv!
Loren Ekroth photo
July 29, 2009 Contents
Class Reunion Conversation Kit
Conversation Quotation
Famous Quotations
Merely Jesting
Word-a-Week
Changing Internet Services?
Annoying Voicemails?
Today's answers
Quick Links
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This Week's Issue: 
July 29, 2009

Hello again, subscriber friend!

 

Because you share my interest in better conversation

and good human relationships, you have subscribed to

this newsletter.  I hope you continue to find personal value to better your life with these ideas. 


I believe -- as I have so often witnessed -- that "better conversations make better world."  Please invite your friends to join my list, www.conversationmatters.com

 

Loren Ekroth, publisher

[email protected]

This Week's Contents, July 29, 2009
Words this issue:  861
Reading time:  approx. 3 minutes
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
  1. Class Reunion Conversation Kit
  2. Conversation Quotation
  3. Famous Quotations:  Who said this?
  4. Merely Jesting
  5. Word-a-week
  6. Changing Internet Services?
  7. Today's article:  Improve with Improv!
  8. Today's answer
1. Class Reunion Better Conversation Kit

After 5 years of research and various drafts, I have completed this unique resource.  Any class reunion planning committee can easily add this process, and at almost no cost. Having a process of meaningful conversations with returning classmates can be the highlight of your reunion, even more than all the usual fun activities golf tournaments, barbeques, and banquet speeches and sing-alongs.

If you know of a class reunion that could use an activity to stimulate authentic and meaningful conversation, let me know.  Contact me at:  [email protected]

2.  Conversation Quotation

"Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of existence."

          --O. Henry

3. Famous Quotations:  Who wrote these words?

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."

  1. Emma Goldman
  2. Emma Lazarus
  3. Emma Woodhouse
  4. Emily Dickinson

Check your answer at the end of today's article.

4.  Merely Jesting

"Conversation, n. A flair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor."

 

--Ambrose Bierce, satirist

5. Word-a-Week:  omnibus (adj)
AHM-nih-bus

Meaning:  containing or including many items

Example sentence:

At the beginning of the fiscal year, accountants held an
omnibus meeting to consider a wide variety of financial
issues.
6. Changing Internet Services?

1.  If you change internet services and don't re-subscribe to this ezine, you will no longer receive weekly "Better Conversations."  If you are changing, please re-subscribe now at www.conversation-matters.com.
 
2.  
To make sure that you receive this newsletter, please add this "from" address to your address book: [email protected].

Otherwise it may be caught by your spam filter.

7. Article:  Improve with Improv!

To make your conversations more creative and spontaneous, you can apply some basic principles of improvisational theater.  Today's article is a slightly-revised reprise of one of the most popular articles I have written since publication of "Better Conversations" began in 2002.  I coined the neologism "improversation" for conversations conducted

with improv principles.  Read on . . .

Improversation:  Stay Present

     A key principle of improvisational theater is to "Respond in the present."  Improv players get themselves and fellow players into trouble when they think ahead and write mental scripts of what they'll say later on.  It often happens that by the time another player makes them an offer to deal with, their pre-scripted response doesn't fit.

Note:  In improv, every response is considered an "offer."

Too Often, Conversers Pre-script

     During everyday conversation, people often pre-script while waiting their turn to talk.  You can observe such scripting when people are self-conscious and want to appear competent, as when groups of strangers are asked to briefly introduce themselves. 
In these situations, you can see most people planning ahead instead of listening to the others' introductions.  The quality of responding and accuracy of understanding plummet because so little attention is given to listening. 

     Even when people are able to pretend to listen because they want to appear polite, their attention is divided between scripting  and responding, and what they say will seem more mechanical than spontaneous.  When you commit to being fully present, you can also be fully attentive to what others are saying.

Good Conversation Needs Spontaneity

     For the best flow, a conversation needs spontaneity.  When conversers are able to be in the moment, their phrases will have the feeling of freshness and authenticity, even though they may not be well-crafted or even grammatical.  (The ancient Greeks had a phrase to describe oratory that had been too carefully planned in advance:  "It smells of the lamp."  The speaker had stayed up late to work out the perfect language, correct in form, but, when finally spoken, stale in tone.)

     The best-known improv group in North America is
"SecondCity," in existence since the 1950s and franchised
in both Canada and the U.S.  Many of the very best
improv performers like Mike Nichols and John Belushi
came to TV and the movies from this professional source.
However, only a small portion of Second City performances
are live and "in the moment."  Instead, the players improvise the sketches which are then fixed and scripted for performance.  The result is that the performances use rehearsed and well-worn
material that, while amusing, often lacks freshness.

     Quality conversation is creative and improvisational and,
although patterned, is often surprising rather than predictable. As with the music of jazz ensembles and the play of young children, offers are exchanged and wonderfully creative ideas emerge.  (For an in-depth exploration of this concept, see Keith Sawyer's excellent book, Creating Conversations, March 2001.)

Collaboration Is a Key Goal

     In conversation, as in ensemble theater, achieving collaboration is a key goal.  To achieve this, conversers

must let go of trying to pre-plan and control the conversation.  When all the talkers are thinking about

what they'll say next, the result is more like "co-blaboration" than real collaboration.

     When you take a chance and stay in the moment, even if
you're not sure what you're going to say next; when you
trust your experience and your intuition, the right words will
come forth and fit nicely into the open moment.

8. Today's Answer

Famous Quotations:  Who wrote these words?

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."

Answer:  Emma Lazarus

Loren Ekroth �2009, all rights reserved

 

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life. 

 

Contact at [email protected]