To make your
conversations more creative and spontaneous, you can apply some basic
principles of improvisational theater.
Today's article is a slightly-revised
reprise of one of the most popular articles I have written since
publication of "Better Conversations" began in 2002. I coined the
neologism "improversation" for conversations conducted
with improv
principles. Read on . . .
Improversation: Stay Present
A key principle of improvisational theater is to "Respond in the present." Improv players get themselves and fellow players into trouble when they think ahead and write mental scripts of what they'll say later
on. It often happens that by the time another player makes them an
offer to deal with, their pre-scripted response doesn't fit.
Note: In improv, every response is considered an
"offer."
Too Often, Conversers Pre-script
During everyday conversation, people often pre-script while waiting their turn to talk. You can observe such scripting when people are self-conscious and want to appear competent, as when groups of strangers are asked to briefly introduce themselves. In these
situations, you can see most people planning ahead instead of listening to the others' introductions. The quality of responding and accuracy of understanding plummet because so little attention is given to listening.
Even when people are able to pretend to listen because they want to appear polite, their attention is divided between scripting and responding, and what they say will seem more mechanical than spontaneous. When you commit to
being fully present, you can also
be fully attentive to what others are saying.
Good Conversation Needs
Spontaneity
For the best flow, a conversation needs spontaneity.
When conversers are able to be in the moment, their phrases will have the feeling of freshness and authenticity, even though they may not be well-crafted or even grammatical. (The ancient Greeks had a phrase to describe oratory that had been too carefully planned in advance: "It smells of the lamp." The speaker had stayed up late to work out the perfect language, correct in form, but, when finally spoken, stale in tone.)
The best-known improv group in North America is
"SecondCity,"
in existence since the 1950s and franchised
in both Canada and the U.S. Many
of the very best
improv performers like Mike Nichols and John Belushi
came to TV and the movies from this professional source.
However, only a small portion of Second
City performances
are live and "in the moment." Instead, the players improvise the
sketches which are then fixed and scripted for performance. The
result is that the performances use rehearsed and well-worn material that, while amusing, often lacks
freshness.
Quality conversation is creative and improvisational and,
although patterned, is often surprising rather than predictable. As with the music of jazz ensembles and the play of young children, offers are exchanged and wonderfully creative ideas emerge. (For an in-depth exploration of this concept, see Keith Sawyer's excellent book, Creating Conversations, March 2001.)
Collaboration Is a Key Goal
In conversation, as in ensemble theater, achieving
collaboration is a key goal. To achieve this, conversers
must let go of trying to pre-plan and control the conversation. When all the talkers are thinking about
what they'll say next, the result is more like "co-blaboration" than real collaboration.
When you take a chance and stay in the moment, even if
you're not sure what you're going to say next; when you
trust your experience and your intuition, the right words will
come forth and fit nicely into the open moment.