OK, so it's no longer September...
...and October almost went by without any contact as well. My hope in regard to this newsletter is that you value discretion more than regularity.
This last newsletter was a series of fits and
starts (and stops) for me. It seemed that no
matter how much I wrote, or on which topic, it didn't feel ready to hit send. So I didn't. Then I realized that my resistance with this might have some relevance for you and your own commitments.
SO, let's
talk about resistance and self-discipline!
Does this ever happen to you? You need to get a creative project out the
door - or you have been swearing you'll make some creative time for yourself - but no matter how diligent you are at putting it at the top of your to-do
list, it doesn't ever seem to get done.
I know from coaching that when this resistance appears in response to a goal, it's time to
reassess what's happening.
How committed are you to your goal?
What is the compelling reason to complete this task or step and how does it fit
into the big picture of what you've envisioned for yourself? What do you need to take the
next step? What permission might you need to give yourself?
How does this project or goal fit with your values now--and how does it not?
In this instance, my intention is to connect with my readers. The
compelling reason I want to connect with each of you is because I have a core
belief that
every single person has a gift that wants to be released from
their core, and that when that gift is visible and active in the world, peace
is possible. My hope is that by writing each month, it will touch one
or more of you in a way that just might encourage you to
get curious about the unique gift that is yours
to embody in the world.
What this process helped me realize is that a newsletter is great for
news and upcoming events, but a bit too static for me to deliver current my thoughts
and to interact with you the way I'd like. This experience with
my resistance has illuminated that I'm ready for a new avenue - blogging
perhaps. But I tell you this to illustrate that
useful information
comes out of curiosity about your own resistance. As a result I've been inspired to create something new - something out of the current confines I've created for myself in my business. Stay tuned on that...
Where does self-discipline fit in?
I've often thought that
discipline is something that comes from the outside in to make you conform to
one idea or another. Using my logic then, self-discipline must mean making
yourself conform to one idea or another. Right? WRONG.
Unfortunately, however, many people go down that path.
Self-discipline is a necessary gift we give ourselves to keep a creative project moving forward, and it
can be used as the structure (gentle or otherwise) that guides your days.
What type of self-discipline
truly fits the size of
the project or idea
you are birthing?
And, (here's the key...)
how can it be delightful?
The key to self-discipline is to establish a
relationship with yourself that supports you and your project, not one that
beats you into submission. The difference is in the quality of the outcome you
wish to achieve.
Some guidelines to engage supportive self-discipline are:
- Stop the distractions-Set yourself up for success by making agreements and expectations to yourself and the family and co-workers that are around you ahead of time. Carve out the time and space necessary to do what you need and want to do for yourself.
- Create markers-How confidently can you arrive at a new destination without seeing the road signs that assure you that you're on the right route? Create multiple targets or markers that will tell you are taking the small steps necessary to achieve your bigger goal or project.
- Declare your intent-We humans are tricky buggers. We like to wiggle out of our promises to ourselves. There's something incredibly powerful about sharing your goals and intentions with another person. It is a proven fact that we enjoy a higher success rate when we include others in on our plans to succeed (and also why coaching is so successful)!
- Secure accountability-This takes the above point of declaring your intent one step further. Have someone check in on you at appropriate intervals to give you a strong structure for success and to make sure you are where you want to be in route to your goal. Fill in the blanks for your accountability partner: "I will achieve XXX by XXX date and if I don't... then XXX".
Your life-size projects deserve appropriate levels of respect.
Take the time to figure out what that looks like in the form of self-discipline
as well as what support will guide you through your resistance.
Oh, and that gift of yours I
spoke of above?
If there's any doubt about what it is for you, contact me.
Water the seeds you wish to bloom,
Stephanie
