Valentine's Day is upon us! It's a much-anticipated
focal point for the expression of romantic ideals.
If you are in a wonderful relationship and looking
forward to an enchanting day - revel in it! Appreciate
your partner and what you have together and enjoy the
wonder and beauty of being in love!
On the other hand, if you find yourself without a special
someone, Valentine's Day can be trying. The images
of "perfect" romantic relationships abound. You can't
miss the flowers, the cards, the gifts, the exquisite
dinners, the loving glances, and the sparks that fly
between two people in love.
If you aren't feeling warm and fuzzy about your own
relationship status, it's easy to succumb to a litany of
uncomfortable feelings - resentment, longing,
sadness, or even downright depression.
Who wants to be alone on Valentine's Day with no
sweetheart? Or in a relationship that lacks luster or is
a constant source of stress?
If you are feeling more anxious than excited about
Valentine's Day - whether you are single or in a less
than ideal relationship - here are some strategies for
shifting your perspective and having a lovely day of
your own making.
1) Nurture yourself. Be your own best
valentine and
make sure you are loved! Consider getting a
massage, spending time with good friends, cooking a
special meal just for you, or immersing yourself in a
favorite creative or athletic pursuit. Planning activities
you enjoy will shift your focus away from what you
don't have that makes you sad. Instead, you'll be
engaging your attention in ways that make you feel
good. If the symbolism of Valentine's Day is important
to you, you can even buy yourself some flowers and a
box of candy - you don't have to wait for someone else
to do it!
2) Take charge of the day. If you do have a
partner, but
one who tends to fall short of your expectations for
romance - try being more proactive! Talk about how
you'd like to spend the evening. Help your partner be
successful in creating an evening that pleases you.
Surprises are nice, but if "surprises" in the past have
left you wanting, go for a sure thing! Remember that
your partner has needs too and it's best to plan
something that works for both of you. If your partner is
not around, not available or not interested, decide to
treat yourself to an evening you can enjoy on your own.
3) Be the love you want to receive. Resolve to
treat
yourself with gentleness, love and kindness. Resist
the temptation to beat yourself up for past choices.
Forgive yourself and others for not being able to get
it "right" in relationships. The best strategy for
attracting a healthy relationship or soothing a stressful
one is to develop a loving and healthy relationship
with yourself first. When you are able to give yourself
the love you need, others will too!
4) Radiate love and appreciation. If you are
experiencing a lot of stress in your relationship, a nice
romantic date could easily turn sour. Make a point of
finding sincere ways to compliment your partner and
communicate what you like and appreciate about
them. Expressions of heartfelt appreciation make
others feel good and it will make you feel good too. If
there has been a lot of negativity and tension in your
relationship, your partner may not know how to
respond at first. If your communication is genuine,
you'll start to see the ice begin to melt. Making a
conscious effort to express positive, loving and
appreciative feelings will uplift you both in amazing
ways.
You may not be used to taking charge on a day like
Valentine's Day, but doing so is a gift you give yourself.
Happiness is truly an inside job. As long as you
depend on someone else to love you, respect you,
take care of you, delight you and be responsible for
making you happy, you are vulnerable to
disappointment.
You are the one who holds the key to getting your
needs met. When you begin to take responsibility for
creating your own happiness, you'll not only have a
lovely Valentine's Day, you'll have a great life!
