I've talked to so many people who are in a kind of
shock that it's already December, let alone mid-
December. Where did the year go? For most of us,
time really does fly. Like it or not, come December
31st, another year is over and a new year is about to
begin.
Ideally, it's a time for celebration. It's also a great a
time for reflection. Traditionally it's a time for
visualizing what we want to accomplish in the New
Year by creating resolutions for implementing
significant new changes in our lives.
All too often, what starts out as a positive exercise in
forward thinking, becomes an energy draining
exercise in berating ourselves for past failures. How
many times have we tried and failed to make these
same changes? This year, why not try something a
little different?
First, start with making a list of all the things you did
right last year. Think about all the things you are proud
of, all the areas where you moved forward in your life,
even in small ways. List the things you are grateful for
about your life and how you contribute to those around
you.
Add to your list what you appreciate about the things
you have accomplished. Congratulate yourself for
these noteworthy accomplishments. We get so caught
up in taking inventory of what we failed to accomplish
and often forget to give ourselves credit for the many
more things that we did check off our list!
I know that many people have a very hard time giving
themselves credit for what's working in their lives. We
are so in the habit of beating ourselves up and
blaming ourselves for what's not right and what's not
working. It completely obscures a great deal of the
good things we have going for us. All that negativity
requires a huge amount of energy. It tires us out,
drains us of joy, and blocks out any sense of hope
and well being for the future.
As we approach the New Year, it's a great time to
consciously do some mental clean up. A "burning
bowl" exercise is a great tool for this. Here's how it
works: Gather a list of all the negative thoughts and
feelings you've been hanging on to that are draining
your energy.
What are the resentments you are holding? What are
you angry about? Who are you angry with? What are
you angry with yourself about? What are your regrets?
Write everything down on as many pieces of paper as
it takes. When you are finished, make a declaration to
release these negative emotions.
If you have a safe (and legal) place to light a fire, you
can toss your pages into the fire and watch all that
negativity shrivel up and turn to ash. Otherwise you
can tear your pages up into little pieces and toss them
in the trash. Better yet, slide each sheet of paper into a
shredder and enjoy the sound of your negativity being
sliced and diced into unrecognizable bits of confetti.
By taking this very concrete action to reduce the hold
negativity has on your peace of mind, you'll feel a great
sense of relief. Through this symbolic ritual, you are
solidifying your resolve to do life in a more positive
way.
Sometimes we are mightily attached to our negativity
and after such a release it might feel a little awkward.
That's because nature abhors a void. The next step is
to fill that void with positive thoughts about your life
and feelings of positive anticipation for a new start in
your new year.
Now, instead of making a great long to-do list or a
laundry list of New Year's resolutions, spend some
time taking a broader view. Ask yourself how you'd like
to feel about your life in 2008.
What kind of quality of life would energize you? What
things could you make a part of your life next year that
would create more satisfaction, balance and well
being? What things can you say "no" to, so that you
can create more time for the things that really matter?
What do you want to do to take care of yourself that
would be nurturing and soul satisfying? What could
you do to bring more intimacy or sense of connection
to your important relationships?
The answers to these kinds of questions will guide
you to make changes from the heart. Changes that
come from a place of heart-felt desire, and clarity of
desired outcome in terms of the quality of life you are
seeking, will naturally have greater momentum for
success.
Treat yourself with kindness, acknowledge and
celebrate the good in your life and the important things
you have accomplished, let go of negativity, and open
yourself up to the possibility of having your best year
yet!
