My kids and I belong to a health club here in Santa
Barbara, and boy, did it get busy after the
holidays! Suddenly it's not so easy to get a space
in the Pilates class or to find an available
treadmill. It happens every year, a couple of weeks
of intense motivation to start that exercise
program, to stop binging on chocolate, to start
being on time, to get organized, to watch less TV,
and on and on the list goes.
There is something very compelling about the advent
of a new year. It's like a clean slate, a natural
ending and a new beginning. It's very unfortunate
timing though. We greet the New Year as we are
recovering from the excesses of the holidays. We've
just come out of the frenzy of shopping, perhaps a
whirlwind of social events, and certainly lots of
overeating!
More than likely, in order to make time for all this
extra activity, we backed off our exercise routine
and any rituals we might have that are relaxing and
rejuvenating. So the holidays set us back even
further behind on achieving those elusive goals of
getting in shape and living a balanced life.
Our inner critic gets particularly nasty and
contemptuous at this time of year, telling us, "Here
another year's gone by and look at you! You still
haven't________(fill in the blank)."
The motivation is definitely there, but most people
have great difficulty following through on the
changes they say they want to make. So why then do
New Year's resolutions seem to quickly fall by the
wayside?
It's because they tend be more about appeasing our
inner critic than making heart-felt choices. We fall
in the trap of writing out a long list of "shoulds"
and "shoulds" are never exciting or energizing.
Here are a few tips to help you be more successful
in getting on track in the New Year:
Counter your inner critic with kindness.
Instead of
berating yourself for what you haven’t done, ask
yourself how you can best honor yourself by
attending to your needs. Make commitments to
yourself that are empowering rather than draining.
Focus on the why, not the what. Get really clear
about how you will benefit from successfully
implementing your resolutions. Be willing to modify
your approach. For example, if a gym membership
isn’t working for you, be open to finding other fun
and fulfilling ways to get in shape.
Know that you have a whole year ahead of you!
Prioritize your resolutions and pick one new habit
to focus on at a time. Give yourself at least three
weeks to create success with one new habit before
you tackle another. It takes 21-days to integrate a
new habit into your life. In six months time, you
could successfully implement eight new habits – one
at a time.
Make a point to take inventory of your
accomplishments over the past year. The New Year is
a perfect time to celebrate the things that are
working well in our lives! The inner critic can get
so noisy that we don’t even acknowledge ourselves
for what we have achieved and what we are proud of!
Be kind to yourself, visualize your success, and
have a great year!
