The New Year is a time to reflect. I've been thinking a lot about the advice my mother gave me. Her words echo in my mind, a continuing reminder of how she influenced my thinking. Her comments may remind you of what you learned from your mother.

"They didn't consult me."

She realized that her ability to change events was limited, that she didn't wield unlimited power, and that she had to accept the fact that sometimes events were outside of her control. That realization served her well. She didn't rail against things she couldn't change. By accepting the situation as it was, not how she would like it to be, she became far more realistic and practical.

"If things aren't working out, do something."

She knew from a hard and difficult life (her father died when she was 4, her brother when she was 13 and her husband when she was 44), that bad things happen. Her response was anything but "woe is me." She always knew that as long as she took steps to move forward, regardless of whether they worked out or not, she would avoid being a victim and assume control of her life and her future.

"How dare you!"

My mother was not faint-hearted. Quite the contrary. She loudly and brazenly took stands against those things she believed to be wrong. During an in-service day for several thousand teachers, myself and my sister among them, she challenged the speaker in a jam-packed auditorium who had opened his presentation by telling a Polish joke. Born Elena Rosochacki, she leapt to her feet when he asked for questions, to say, "How dare you!" She proceeded to reprimand him for his demeaning remark, something which she rightly indicated "no self-respecting educator should ever do."

"What were you thinking?"

At first blush, this may appear to be a critical comment, implying that I had done something wrong and should feel guilty about. Not so. Only when I had grown up did I realize what she meant. She was just trying to help me figure out what was going on in my head. She knew that each of us saw and thought about things differently and that it was important to recognize and accept those differences, starting with myself.

What have you learned from your mother? Which of her words still echo in your mind and provide valuable guidance? If you are lucky and she is still around, have you thanked her for her wisdom?

Not too long ago, the Chicago Cubs introduced their new manager, Dale Sveum. One factor referenced to support his hiring was that he had played for some of the games best managers: Joe Torre, Tony La Russa, and Jim Leyland. The implication is that he must have learned something from his former bosses.

Yes. Leaders learn from their bosses. And when the bosses are among the best in the business, the lessons are priceless.

What have you learned from those for whom you have worked? What do those who work for you learn?

On my new website, I quote H.L. Mencken, "There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong."

Leaders can fall into the trap of solving problems by employing easy (often familiar) solutions. It's an appealing way to operate, as it doesn't require leaders to question standard assumptions or conventional wisdom. It can also lead to disastrous results.

What can you do to avoid employing the alluringly neat, plausible, easy, and wrong solutions?

Email archie@archietinelli.com