My stepdaughter, a senior leader in an engineering firm, acknowledged that some of the younger managers in her division struggle when it comes to talking candidly with subordinates about their less-than-stellar performance.

She's not alone in thinking that leaders don't always have the courage to face the tough issues and difficult conversations their work requires of them. John Kenneth Galbraith said, "If leaders have had one characteristic in common, it was the willingness to confront unequivocally the major anxiety of their people in their time. This, and not much else, is the essence of leadership."

And yet far too many leaders fail in that effort. A few examples:

Dana had worked in the business for years, slowly building up a well-earned reputation for developing talent, establishing a collaborative culture, and creating outstanding customer service. Where she fell short was in dealing with people who didn't measure up to her standards of performance.

Her typical approach was to drop subtle suggestions that she hoped would, eventually, convey the message. Of course, it didn't work, since the people she was hoping would get the message were incapable of hearing Dana's indirect communications.

Jeremy avoided confrontations of any kind whatsoever. Having grown up in a family in which loud arguments were the norm, he shuddered whenever an argument or disagreement was likely to occur.

He frequently postponed meetings rather than talk to people directly. If the meetings were inevitable, he'd downplay the difficulties, saying things like, "It's not really an issue," or "It's not a big deal." Or, he'd try to get someone else to be the bearer of bad tidings.

Chris had a far different approach. Rather than being indirect or avoiding the issue altogether, Chris yelled. His tirades became the talk of the office, as his screaming fits were heard down the hall. No one wanted to be the recipient of his verbal attacks, which left no doubt as to who was in charge and who was at fault.

None of them (Dana, Jeremy, or Chris) handled the challenge of confronting others well. All of them damaged their reputations and sidetracked their careers before learning how to develop the skills they needed to talk directly with others about performance short-comings.

What did they learn?

First, that it's their job to confront the staff members who were not measuring up. They realized that to ignore the performance issues doesn't resolve anything, postpones the inevitable, and often exacerbates the problem.

Of course, talking with people face-to-face about their substandard performance is far easier said than done. Most leaders I know do not look forward to addressing tough issues with others. Nonetheless, effective leaders find a way to overcome their reluctance, handle their anxiety, and develop skills for talking about hard stuff.

They prepare for the conversation by asking themselves these questions: · What information do I have that will enable me to describe the other person's behavior objectively, precisely, and fairly? · How does the person's performance impact the business? · What are the likely objections the person may make in order not to accept what I say? · How will I address those objections and keep the conversation on track? · How do I expect the person to behave differently? What should he or she stop doing? What should he or she start doing?

Answering these questions will help you prepare for those conversations that you have to have, despite the personal anguish they may cause you, because you know it's better for the business and it's the right thing to do.

What difficult conversations have you been avoiding? What performance issues have not been addressed appropriately? What important issues have been left off the table and not discussed?

What are you going to do about them?

David R. Gergen said, "A leader's role is to raise people's aspirations for what they can become and to release their energies so they will try to get there."

We sometimes overlook the fact that aspirations matter, especially in our daily grind, when the economy is struggling, when the business is hanging on by a thread, and our own hopes for the future are put on hold while we sweat out the next quarter.

What can you do to enable others to aspire, to hope, and to stretch?

What does it take in today's business to get things done?

Can you impose your will on others by virtue of your authority? Ken Blanchard doesn't think so. He writes, "The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority."

What influence skills must you develop to be more effective in your work? What are you doing to develop them?

Email archie@archietinelli.com