Tinelli on Leadership )
Ideas you can use today Issue 43 - July 31, 2008
In This Issue
  • Leadership and Parenting.
  • Everything Changes Everything.
  • Talk versus Action.
  • The dog days of August have arrived here in Washington, D.C. - the oppressive weather saps energy in the heat and humidity.

    In the midst of the summer doldrums, it's important to find a refreshing breeze, a cool place to relax, and a shady place to take a break.

    Where is your haven, your retreat, your hideaway?


    Archie Tinelli, Ph.D.

    Leadership and Parenting.

    My younger son and his wife stayed at our house recently while they looked at houses after accepting new jobs nearby in Hagerstown, Maryland, at Volvo. I watched them as they took care of their one-year-old daughter and realized that leadership is a lot like parenting.

    The responsibility is non-stop and you don't get to relinquish it. They were constantly on duty and, except for naptime, never had a break. Their daughter required constant attention lest her inquisitiveness and age got her into trouble. And, despite how tired they might have been or how stressful their current situation (having to move, find a new home and day care, adjust to new jobs, find and open accounts at banks, find new doctors, etc.), their daughter expected the same degree of love and attention as usual.

    Joy and frustration alternate, quickly. One minute, they're relishing their daughter's antics and enjoying the glow of parenthood as she smiles, gurgles, and coos. The next, when she had fallen or she became frustrated by any of the many new things that toddlers encounter, the parents move into TLC-mode, helping their daughter to weather the meltdown.

    Children have their own needs, which are sometimes hard to understand and which you have to learn about in order to respond to them. Their daughter cannot verbalize what she wants now, so her parents, through trial and error, learn to recognize the indicators that tell them if she is tired, wet, overexcited, or frustrated.

    Children grow and develop at their own pace - parents cannot adjust the rate at which their kids walk, talk, or are toilet-trained. Each child has his or her own rate of development that cannot be changed, only understood, accepted, and accommodated.

    Parents spend a tremendous amount of time preparing their children for the future by providing advice and guidance along the way so the children know what is expected of them as they mature.

    Everyone parents differently. There is no one method that all parents follow as they rear their children. Parenting approaches are the result of a complex interaction between the parents' own experiences, preferences, desires, fears, and expectations and their children's personalities, interests, abilities, and attributes.

    The parallels between parenting and leadership are many.

    The responsibility that leaders shoulder is constant and there are few breaks when you can pause to prepare for the next demand, request, problem, or opportunity provided by your staff or others.

    Leaders alternate between joy and frustration, excitement and uncertainty, and enthusiasm and anxiety.

    Staff members are diverse and demanding in that they see things differently, respond differently to the same events, and reflect a wide span of emotions.

    Rarely do staff members communicate clearly, consistently, and candidly about the many issues, challenges, problems, and opportunities facing them.

    Every staff member has his or her own set of career goals, fears, abilities, interests, and personalities.

    Leaders prepare their staff for what lies ahead, hoping to help them adjust, learn, and adapt to the future.

    There is no one style of leadership - everyone leads differently.

    Let's hope, at the end of the day, when everything is said and done, that you can look back, like a proud parent and say about your role as a leader, "It was a lot of work, there were a lot of ups and downs, but it was worth it."

    Everything Changes Everything.

    Earl Weaver, the former manager of the Baltimore Orioles, once said, "Everything changes everything."

    How right he was! Every time one thing changes, something else is affected. The process repeats itself with each change. The challenge for leaders is to recognize the connections between and importance of the changes.

    What has changed recently in your life? What pieces of the puzzle have changed? How do the pieces fit together now? What will you and the rest of your team have to do differently since the puzzle no longer looks the same?

    Talk versus Action.

    Doug Conant, the CEO of Campbell Soup, said, "You can't talk your way out of something you behaved your way into. You have to behave your way out of it."

    Leaders sometimes overlook the difference between words and actions. Actions do speak louder than words. Good leaders know that no matter how eloquent, how persuasive, or how convincing their words, the best way to influence the rest of the organization is to significantly and substantively change their own behavior.

    What simple actions can you take, right now, that will prove to the business that you're seriously committed to making things better?

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