How do leaders learn to lead? There are several ways, and most of them are connected to the work they do rather than taking place in any classroom or training session.

Yogi Berra said, “You can see a lot just by observing.” Leaders learn to lead by observing the leaders for whom they work. And then they draw conclusions as to whether they want to be like their boss or not.

Several years ago, I worked with a small law firm that had splintered off from a larger one, taking several key attorneys. When I asked how they made decisions in the new firm, the managing partner said, “Oh, that’s easy. First we ask ourselves what Ernie would do. Ernie was the guy who ran the firm we left, and then we make sure we don’t do that. The reason we left our previous firm was because of Ernie. He was the worst boss that any of us had ever had and we left because none of us wanted to work for him any longer. He’s a constant reminder to us of what not to do.”

Their experience is not unusual. Nearly every leader I know has had a former boss who did things he or she did not like and has vowed not to repeat those mistakes.

“I had a boss who yelled and screamed and demeaned us in team meetings. I knew that when I became a team leader, I’d never do that.”

“One of my former superiors kept changing his mind. Things changed weekly, if not daily. We never knew in what direction we were heading. It drove the whole staff nuts.”

“I left one job because of my boss. All she ever did was criticize and complain. Nothing was ever good enough or fast enough. She lost more direct reports in one year than any other three vice presidents in the firm combined.”

“I didn’t know it at the time, but one former boss taught me a lot, about what not to do. Who I am as a leader today is partially because of what I do so that I don’t make the same mistakes he did.”

Of course, we learn from and model those leaders we admire, too.

“The best boss I had gave me work that was outside my comfort zone and then helped me succeed at it. Now, I do the same thing with my subordinates.”

“The toughest and best boss I ever had pushed me harder than I’d ever been pushed before. He set extremely high goals and expected me to reach them. I worked my tail off and, not surprisingly, I reached the goals. That taught me a lot about goals and expectations.”

“I still use some of the phrases that I borrowed from a former boss. She used to say, for example, ‘Don’t confuse the journey with the destination,’ meaning that it’s easy to get lost in the details of the process and lose sight of what you’re trying to accomplish. I find myself repeating a lot of what she used to say.”

“My father taught me a lot about how to lead. He gave me a great deal of freedom to try new things and, at the same time, held me accountable for the results. He showed me what leadership looked like.”

There’s no sure way to predict which bosses will provide leadership lessons and which ones won’t. There are just too many factors and uncertainties for that to be predictable.

What is the case, though, is that leaders learn from both the good and bad bosses they’ve had.

What have you learned from your bosses about how to lead? And, what might your subordinates be learning from you?

I recently attended a session in which the presenter began by defining the topic to be discussed, which was “corporate culture.” The problem was that his definition was so controversial that he spent the rest of the time defending it and never got around to making whatever points he had planned to make.

The problem of definition is all too common for leaders, too. Some of the problems that leaders encounter result from conflicts or differences in the definition. One team of leaders I worked with became stuck when they disagreed on what they meant by “collaboration.”

Other terms are similarly problematic. “Leadership,” “initiative,” and “teamwork” are just a few that come to mind.

Assuming that everyone else has the same understanding of common terms as you do can be the source of problems for leaders. Are you sure that you and those who report to you have the same definitions for everyday terms? It might be helpful to check to see that you agree on the definition of what you’re discussing.

Next month, I’m going to Budapest to work for a multi-national client who has asked me to help develop their leaders. Never having been there before, I’m looking forward to seeing how leadership is perceived and practiced there.

I’ve always suspected that there are cultural differences in how leaders lead in different countries. I’ve certainly seen differences when I go to Greece where my wife and I have a second home. In the U.S.A., we’re more focused on results and don’t socialize nearly as much as the Greeks I know who linger far longer over meals and are not so driven to produce immediate results.

At the same time, I suspect there are universal needs for leadership. By that, I mean that every organization has a need for leadership. Every organization has to know where it’s going, have a strategy for getting there, and organize its people to get the work done. But how leaders do that is not the same everywhere.

What do you think?

email: archie@archietinelli.com archie@archietinelli.com