Whenever I'm leading a workshop or teaching a class, I always get asked what I mean by "leadership." I even get asked about it at dinner parties, networking events, and family get-togethers. Leadership is one of those topics that generates a lot of interest and many, many different understandings.

Everybody seems to have an opinion about it and, after a while, they want to see if I agree with them. My answer is always the same - leadership ain't what it used to be (my apologies to my mother, the school teacher, and the other grammarians among you).

Leadership has changed. Leadership is not the charismatic, high-powered, visionary endeavor that most of us were taught to believe.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could learn leadership by watching high profile leaders and following their lead? Unfortunately, that's not how it works. Leadership is not just a matter of following the lead of others, no matter how successful they are. Granted, they may have some important lessons to teach us about persistence, integrity, or hard work. Admirable as they are, we cannot follow in their footsteps. We're not them - we're each different.

Leadership also is not found in an idealized set of characteristics or attributes. Many of the people I work with ask for a list of the traits they need to acquire, sort of like earning merit badges in scouting. Leadership is not learned by checking the box to acquire each of the preferred prescriptions for what we should be like. Leadership is individual and personal - there is no model to follow.

If you want to become a leader, the journey is not merely to follow in someone else's footsteps or to blindly adhere to a predetermined portrait of idealized leadership. Instead, leadership is a matter of blazing your own path to find out how you will lead.

Leaders today must find their own, individual style of leadership founded upon solid self-knowledge. Like the best artists, leaders cannot just copy the work of others; they must develop and refine their own style. They must develop a style that reflects who they are and what they stand for.

Becoming a leader starts with the realization that leadership is personal and individual. And, the basis for blazing your own path to leadership starts with self-knowledge.

How well do you know yourself? In the next issue, I'll provide one important, and rarely considered, clue that can help. Until then, remember, leadership is personal and individual. What are you doing to enhance your self-understanding and blaze your own path?

Yogi Berra on becoming a leader. Yogi Berra once said, "You can observe a lot by watching." His advice applies to leaders, too. In what way?

Leaders are judged by their performance. They are expected to produce results that matter to the business.

Leaders should regularly observe what they do and see if their actions produce the intended results. They should evaluate their performance, critically and objectively, to determine what they should change and what they should continue doing to make a positive difference in the business.

Yogi had it right, you can observe (and learn) a lot (about yourself) by watching.

This past weekend, I helped my younger son, an engineer at Honda, work on the house he and his fiancée just bought. It's their first house.

I was immediately struck by two things when I walked in. First, he is as precise and concerned about his house as he has always been about his life. And second, his house reflects who he is. Let me explain.

Josh has always been a bit of a perfectionist. That shows in his house. For example, he spent nearly three hours, over two days, to make sure the caulk on a three-foot seam between the floor and the stairs was perfect. He took the same high degree of care with the caulk as he has with most of the decisions in his life.

And, he has made the house a reflection of who he is. His house is as uncluttered as his thinking - he hasn't allowed excess stuff to overwhelm his need for order. He has always been able to reduce the decisions in his life to their most precise, clear, and accurate terms. It shows in his house, too. It's simply furnished; everything is in its place.

What does any of this have to do with leadership? My son demonstrates what all leaders do - leaders reflect who they are in how they lead. Leaders reflect aspects of themselves through their leadership.

Leadership is not found by studying theoretical concepts or hypothetical case studies. Rather it is found by recognizing who we are and reflecting that essence in how we lead.