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Who would you be without your story? )
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The following contribution was written by Karen Schultz, Byron Katie Facilitator. This article may be helpful to understand what is holding you back from moving forward with your dreams.

Who would you be without your story? This is a very powerful question. Everyone has beliefs that have been handed down to us from our parents and other authority figures. You simply believe them because you have not found a reason to disbelieve. Your parents hold up a cup and tell you it is a "cup," they tell you a car is a "car" and dime is a "dime," and therefore, you believe! Eventually, people start telling you information such as, "You shouldn't be alone, a nice girl like you should find a nice man to take care of her," "We can't afford that, money doesn't grow on trees," "My significant other should understand me," "I should be thinner (or prettier or more successful)," etc. and you buy into their stories, simply believing what you are told. As a result, as you move through life and start thinking, "I should be thinner," "I ought to hurry up and find my true love and get married," "I should be more successful," "I'll never be able to afford that." etc.

Several years ago, a friend of mine introduced me to The Work of Byron Katie. "It is a way to find peace with yourself and with the world. Anyone with an open mind can do this "work." According to Katie, "The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what 'is'." When the mind is perfectly clear, what 'is', becomes what we want. If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, 'Meow.' Wanting reality to be different than it is, is hopeless."

I attended Katie's School, in Los Angeles, to study this healing work and found Katie's words to be absolutely true. We want what we want and often what we want is not reality, so we suffer.

A very simple way to know when you are arguing with reality is to notice how you are feeling about any situation. If you feel anger, jealousy, frustration, resentment or and other anxiety from a situation or from another person, it is clear that you are arguing with reality. Katie's healing method or "The Work" includes four simple questions that help you quickly identify your "story" within your beliefs and why you are suffering as a result of those beliefs.

The four questions are:

1. Is it true? It may be far from the truth, but your mind has convinced you that it is true.
2. Do you absolutely know that it is true, and is there a possibility that it isn't true? There is no right answer, but just a way of opening up your mind to other possibilities.
3. How do you react, and what happens, when you believe this thought? This is simply exploring what you are feeling physically, emotionally and spiritually when you think this thought.
4. Who would you be without that thought? Imagine your life if you did not have that thought. How would you approach any situation without the thought in your life?

For example, let's explore the dietitian who is concerned about what everyone else is doing. This dietitians could live in any state in the country and worry about what another dietitian is doing cross-country that might "hurt" their business. After examining this dietitians through Byron Katie's method, it is clear that the dietitian has her own issues about whether or not she is "good enough," while her reactions are based on fear, causing her extreme stress. Seeing these issues and recognizing them can be a huge gift, while helping this dietitian move forward her career, without worrying about what the next person is doing.

A client of mine was very unhappy at her place of work. All of a sudden, the décor in the office was distasteful to my client. When the décor was altered by the management, my client then became unhappy with the lighting in her office, then the overhead music, and so on. Clearly, the issue was not outside of my client. Once we embarked on Katie's method, my client realized that the issues were within, and needed to be addressed.

The issues are never outside of you. The employer could have fixed everything on my clients list of dislikes and she would have started having problems with the people at work or the people at home. It would have continued on and on. You can virtually insert any person or object into her situation and it would all be the same. For example, "I am angry at Beverly because she accused me of something that I don't feel that I did wrong." That same person could insert "my co-worker accused me of something that I don't feel that I did wrong," etc. The real issue is that this individual has a difficult time accepting feedback and the very same issue that they need to address or take personal responsibility vs. blaming others.

So in my client's case, she was not happy within her chosen work and longed for something more meaningful. My client wanted so badly to open her own business, but put every obstacle in her own way. She operated in fear mode.

There is nothing outside of you that is personal, but simply your response to it that becomes personal and that causes suffering. No one can give you freedom but YOU and no one can cause you suffering but YOU. If you don't see it and acknowledge it, it goes on and lives with you forever. If you see it and accept it, you can investigate these thoughts and move forward with clarity.

Karen Schultz is a yoga practitioner and business professional, who helps professionals explore their truths using the teachings of Byron Katie. She may be reached at karenschultz1111@gmail.com or 248-763- 7970.


Private Pratice, Getting that Jump Start Workshops in 2009

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  • Oakland, CA - October 2nd
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  • Burlington, MA - November 6th
  • Yoga-Based Professional Development Program for Eating Disorders - Jamaica-February 14th - 20th, 2010
Schedule subject to change

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About Beverly Price, RD, MA, RYT

Beverly Price is a Registered Dietitian, author, newspaper columnist and public speaker who made a name for herself with her unique approach to nutrition counseling. After 11 years in private practice, she sold Living Better Sensibly -- one of the largest private nutrition practices in the country - to a private nutrition consulting firm, and started Jump Start Consulting specializing in management and marketing strategies for dietitans and other healthcare professionals, along with distance learning products for continuing professional education. Beverly currently operates a private practice, in Royal Oak, Michigan, where she specializes in eating disorder recovery and yoga therapy.

Jump Start Consulting, LLC is a Continuing Professional Education (CPE) Accredited Provider with the Commission on Dietetic Registration (CDR).


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