Yoga Teacher Training/Professional Development
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$150
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The following contribution was written by Karen
Schultz, Byron Katie Facilitator.
Who would you be without your story?
Who would you be without your story? This is a very
powerful question. Everyone has beliefs that have
been handed down to us from our parents and other
authority figures. You simply believe them because
you have not found a reason to disbelieve. Your
parents hold up a cup and tell you it is a "cup," they tell
you a car is a "car" and dime is a "dime," and
therefore, you believe! Eventually, people start telling
you information such as, "You shouldn't be alone, a
nice girl like you should find a nice man to take care of
her," "We can't afford that, money doesn't grow on
trees," "My significant other should understand me," "I
should be thinner (or prettier or more successful),"
etc. and you buy into their stories, simply believing
what you are told. As a result, as you move through
life and start thinking, "I should be thinner," "I ought to
hurry up and find my true love and get married," "I
should be more successful," "I'll never be able to
afford that." etc.
Several years ago, a friend of mine introduced me to
The Work of Byron Katie. "It is a way to find peace with
yourself and with the world. Anyone with an open
mind can do this "work." According to Katie, "The only
time we suffer is when we believe a thought that
argues with what 'is'." When the mind is perfectly
clear, what 'is', becomes what we want. If you want
reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to
teach a cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end
the cat will look up at you and say, 'Meow.' Wanting
reality to be different than it is, is hopeless."
I attended Katie's School, in Los Angeles, to study this
healing work and found Katie's words to be absolutely
true. We want what we want and often what we want
is not reality, so we suffer.
A very simple way to know when you are arguing with
reality is to notice how you are feeling about any
situation. If you feel anger, jealousy, frustration,
resentment or and other anxiety from a situation or
from another person, it is clear that you are arguing
with reality. Katie's healing method or "The Work"
includes four simple questions that help you quickly
identify your "story" within your beliefs and why you are
suffering as a result of those beliefs.
The four questions are:
1. Is it true? It may be far from the truth, but your mind
has convinced you that it is true.
2. Do you absolutely know that it is true, and is there a
possibility that it isn't true? There is no right answer,
but just a way of opening up your mind to other
possibilities.
3. How do you react, and what happens, when you
believe this thought? This is simply exploring what
you are feeling physically, emotionally and spiritually
when you think this thought.
4. Who would you be without that thought? Imagine
your life if you did not have that thought. How would
you approach any situation without the thought in your
life?
For example, let's explore the mother who is over
concerned about the weight of their child. The mother
is always on a "diet," puts their child on a diet, restrict
what the child eats, while also putting their child on a
rigorous exercise programs. I have even experienced
mothers who put their child on diet pills. After working
with these mothers through Byron Katie's method, it
became clear to the mothers that they each had their
own weight issues, eating disorders, food addictions
and other issues that they needed to address vs.
putting pressure on their child causing excess stress
on the child, and their household, causing both the
mother and the child to eat even more and creating
low self-esteem in the child who is under the
impression that there is something "wrong" with
them. Seeing these issues and recognizing their
own "stuff" was a huge gift to these mothers. When
the mother's took ownership it allowed the child to
understand that it wasn't about him or her and they
could move forward to heal. It also taught the child that
when they are angry or frustrated with somebody else
that it was actually about them, not the other person.
Another client of mine was very unhappy at her place
of work. Her co-worker, a friend, left because she
thought that another person's opinion about an issue
was about "her" personally. My client used this
situation as an excuse to begin to find her own
reasons to leave her place of work. All of a sudden,
the décor in the office was distasteful to my client.
When the décor was altered by the management, my
client then became unhappy with the lighting in her
office, then the overhead music, and so on. Clearly,
the issue was not outside of my client. Once we
embarked on Katie's method, my client realized that
the issues were within, and needed to be addressed.
The issues are never outside of you. The employer
could have fixed everything on my clients list of
dislikes and she would have started having problems
with the people at work or the people at home. It
would have continued on and on. You can virtually
insert any person or object into her situation and it
would all be the same. For example, "I am angry at
John because he doesn't listen to me." That same
person could insert "my mother doesn't listen to
me," "my friends don't listen to me," etc. The real
issue is that this individual has a difficult time
listening to anyone and the issue that they need to
address.
So in my client's case, she was not happy with her
appearance and questioned her abilities within her
chosen work. My client also realized that her friend's
issues were also inside vs. external. Her friend
actually moved two different times since first leaving
their common workplace. What happens when you
move? You take yourself. Her friend may keep
moving thinking everybody else is the problem, but as
you can see her thoughts about her own abilities are
actually the problem. My client's friend wanted so
badly to work using a philosophy that she believed in,
but did not understand how to deliver this philosophy,
within the content of her work, and was caught up in
other similar professionals' "shoulds." Both of these
individuals wanted so badly to be accepted, more than
they wanted to be authentic.
There is nothing outside of you that is personal, but
simply your response to it that becomes personal and
that causes suffering. No one can give you freedom
but YOU and no one can cause you suffering but
YOU. If you don't see it and acknowledge it, it goes on
and lives with you forever. If you see it and accept it,
you can investigate these thoughts and move forward
with clarity.
Karen Schultz is a yoga practitioner and business
professional, who helps individuals explore their
truths
using the teachings of Byron Katie. She may be
reached at karenschultz1111@gmail.com or 248-763-
7970.
