A LOOK AT DENIAL

Years ago, you needed to travel far to find someone who had cancer. Why? It is not that this disease did not exist. It is that this disease was something that "you just didn't talk about."

Eating disorders existed as far back as the Roman era, but are fairly new to modern science. Unfortunately, today so many individuals suffer in silence similar to cancer years ago as society has made eating disorders and related addictions shameful and something that "doesn't happen to us."

Here is a letter that I recently sent to the Detroit Jewish News in response to an article on Jewish Alcoholism:

Mazel Tov to the editors for allowing Judith Doner Berne's insightful and informative article out of the Jewish closet. Dr. Jay Kutinsky makes an important point about the many interesting parallels that exist in the Torah, furthered by Rabbi Twerski's work in relation to surrendering to a higher power, soul searching, speaking our truths and taking regular inventory so that we can promptly attend to areas that need to be healed. As Jews, we often miss this connection in our prayers and mediation. There are plenty of individuals in this community who suffer in silence or are ambivalent about accessing help for their own children due to their own denial. If the Jewish community continues to remain in denial when it comes to alcohol, drug, food or any other related addictions-then we ARE as sick as our secrets.

Two other individuals responded to this article as well- -one was a Rabbi involved in leading an addiction recovery program, while the other individual was the woman who worked with the Rabbi in leading the food addiction component of this respective addiction recovery program. Other than that, I felt the energy of a dead silence coupled with fear in the Jewish community in response to my response.

Alexander Sackeyfio, MD recently held an open house during eating disorder awareness week featuring individuals in recovery who told their stories. The participants held nothing back. They were so open and honest about their journey and the emotion involved came through. Included, was a man in recovery who turned to the couple sitting behind him that complained of lack of insurance coverage for eating disorder treatment. The recovering man stated firmly, "My wife and I went in debt so that I could get the help that I needed." There were no secrets with this group.

An important point made by one of the participants was, "We give people permission to undergo treatment and recover from cancer." When it comes to eating disorders, society looks at this as less important although it is easier to eradicate cancer than eating disorders. And, when a mother and father in the audience expressed concern over their daughter who was in denial about her eating disorder and did not want to suggest anything to her as to upset the apple cart, Dr. Sackeyfio asked kindly, "What would you do if your daughter was diagnosed with cancer?--would you advocate for her treatment?"

A young client of mine, with a clearly diagnosed eating disorder, was extremely interested in attending one of my Reconnect with Food intensive support programs. She brought her mother back with her to my office and waived the flyer excitedly. Her mother, who also struggles with her own issues, exclaimed, "No honey-- this program is not for you--you are not like the people who probably attend the program."

In other instances, parents who are in their own denial about their own food issues, seem to either give their underage children choices vs. taking a proactive stance to help them get well. Is this, and the former example, another form of child abuse on some level?

So as we work towards bringing this life threatening disease out of the closet--no matter what race, religion or creed that you are--remember that eating disorders do not discriminate against do not discriminate among socioeconomic status, race, religion, age or even gender. If someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, please reach out.

For more information on our private nutrition consultations and group support, call 248-390- 4150 or log onto www.reconnectwithfood.com

Namaste'

Beverly Price