Greetings!
I decided to write a newsletter specifically oriented towards parents of my teenage clients. I'm hoping that this provides you with: 1) some additional ideas and resources to use in support of the work in therapy; 2) a way to maintain open lines of communication and 3) a way to help you feel more empowered to make it through this difficult time. My ultimate goal is to support you in your journey towards creating a loving, caring and secure relationship with your child. After all, it is our most personal relationships that can sustain us, support us and guide us towards living a contented life. Enjoy.Sincerely,
Marie
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When your child is struggling with the challenges of adolescence and in need to support, this can also affect and impact your closest relationships, specifically the one with your spouse or partner. Often times couples begin to struggle, themselves, to get their needs met, feel connected to each other and be "together" in how to parent. This only leads to feelings of isolation in the relationship, extra stress on the adolescent, who is worried about the burden placed on parents, and an increase in tension in the family. It is vital that parents be able to reach to each other in their worries about their child, manage their own level of stress and get support for themselves, if they need it. Here is an interesting article to read and think about for yourselves Article About Suppressing Emotions |
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Finding contentment in life is increasingly challenging in our busy, scheduled, stressful society. When you add the worries about your child, then it can feel even more difficult. Yet, it is vitally important to take care of oneself during these times. There are some simple things that can be done to help. Force yourself to STOP and do NOTHING for 1 minute - close your eyes, focused on your breath and don't let intrusive thoughts take over. You will feel calmer and more focused. Do something enjoyable every week - paint, draw, read, play music, listen to music - MAKE it happen. Contentment doesn't come naturally but make sure to NOTICE when you have that wonderful, fulfilling feeling. It's worth the effort for yourself and your family.
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What can parents do to support their adolescent who is struggling with depression/anxiety and/or stress? Gather information about what is depression and anxiety - than you will be better able to understand his or her experience. - Be available - Even though your child may be pushing you away during this time, they really need you to be around to just "be" with them. Suggest watching a movie together or doing an activity you know they've enjoyed in the past - don't ask questions, inquire how they're feeling or suggest ways to feel better. Just being with them will feel reassuring.
- Continue the routine you've established. Having predictable expectations will support their need for stability - their mind, body and emotions feel out of control, so having a predictable schedule can feel comforting. Give your teen some space to explore their issues - therapy will provide some of that space and time.
- Be patient - dealing with these issues takes time, courage and patience. If at any point, you feel your child has gotten worse or is beginning to self-medicate in unhealthy ways, get help immediately. Don't wait until things have gotten out-of-control.
- Finally - continue to provide the love and encouragement they need - despite when they are pushing you away, they really, truly do need you!
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