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  Reclusive Scientist to Help Schools Solve Great Copy Machine Epidemic
Great Copy Machine Epidemic

When Dr. Oleg C. Kalapushkenitz heard of the crisis facing America's schools he realized he had no choice but to swing into action. Reaching out to the copy crisis team at the Robert Moses Middle School in NY where symptoms of the strange, contagious disease affecting school photocopy machines and contributing to global warming were first discovered and offering to lend a hand with the diagnosis.

Of course, he's no ordinary scientist. Rather, he's an internationally renowned expert in rare diseases, and brings his considerable expertise to the task at hand. He's purportedly of Russian descent; though he's offered few such details so far. But references at the Animal Disease Center on Plum Island where he's been helping scientists discover a cure for some of the most contagious diseases on Earth indicate he's the type of guy you want on your side in a crisis.

Affectionately known as "Dr. OCK", he's quick to point out that if your school sees signs or symptoms of a strange, contagious disease striking your school photocopier making it chew up trees and leading to global warming through the use of energy, head on over to the copy crisis website at www.greatcopyepidemic.com and register by April 15th to help solve The Great Copy Machine Epidemic of 2008. The planet you save may be your own.


**The Deadline to Register a Confirmed Case is April 15th!**