Greetings!  

The holiday season often brings unwelcome guests - stress and depression. And it's no wonder. The holidays present a dizzying array of demands - parties, shopping, baking, cleaning  and entertainment, to name just a few.

But with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress that accompanies the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would.

Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place. Here are some tips to help get you through the holidays.

• Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.                                                                            
• Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden friendships.                                                                      
• Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos.                               
• Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. Be understanding if others get upset or  distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.                                                                                                 
• Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.                                                                
• Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.                                                                                                        
• Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss ask you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for lost time.                                
• Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.     

• Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may  refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.

• Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or mental health professional.

Don't let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during holidays. Learn to recognize your holiday triggers, such as financial pressures or personal demands, so you can combat them before they lead to a meltdown. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you can find peace and joy during the holidays.

"Ask Jane" Director of Social Services

Hi Jane,

My mother was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. The doctors said she is in stage one. Can you explain what this all means?

Signed,

Scared and confused

Dear Scared and confused,

Alzheimer's disease is a loss of intellectual functions such as thinking, remembering, and reasoning that is severe enough to interfere with daily activities. Persons with Alzheimer's disease have trouble following directions, finishing sentences, finishing thoughts, and taking care of themselves. She may even show signs of change in her personality and poor judgment.

You took the right path and got a diagnosis. Even though there is no cure for Alzheimer's disease you can learn about the disease to increase your mother's quality of life. In the first stage of the disease the individual realizes something is wrong and often will try to hide or cover up the problem. They will experience short term memory loss and mild confusion. It becomes harder and harder to concentrate. There may be mild communication problems such as forgetting what an object is called. The individual tends to have impaired judgment and will often make poor decisions because of this. Depression and loss of interest in everyday activities or people may occur. Often times the person with Alzheimer's disease will start to care less about his/her appearance and may even experience delusions such as people are stealing from them.  

The individual will continue to decline so it is important to put a plan into place for health care and financial decisions. Eventually the individual will no longer to be able to care for him/herself. The number one thing you must remember as your mother's caregiver is to take care of yourself. Often the caregiver does not take time out for themselves and becomes burn out or sick. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. Who will care for your loved one if you become ill?  

Find a support group and get ideas from others who are in your situation. They know what you are going through.  

Christmas Ribbon Salad

Layers of sparkling green and red gelatin surround the creamy lemon layer in this pretty side salad recipe.

Servings: 16 (1/2-cup) servings

Ingredients

• 2 4-serving-size packages sugar-free lime-flavored gelatin
• 2 1/2 cup boiling water
• 1 4-serving-size package sugar-free lemon-flavored gelatin 
• 1 1/2 cup boiling water
• 1 8-ounce tub light cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup unsweetened pineapple juice
• 1 cup frozen light whipped dessert topping, thawed
• 1 4-serving-size package sugar-free raspberry-flavored gelatin
• 1 4-serving-size package sugar-free cherry-flavored gelatin
• 2 1/2 cups boiling water

Directions

In a medium bowl, combine lime-flavored gelatin and 2 1/2 cups boiling water; stir until gelatin dissolves. divide gelatin mixture among sixteen 4- to 6-ounce wine glasses or glass desert dishes, spooning about 2 tablespoons of the lime gelatin mixture into each glass or dish. (Or pour lime gelatin mixture into a 3-quart rectangular baking dish.) Cover and chill for 1 to 2 hours or until firm.

In a large bowl, combine lemon-flavored gelatin and the 1 1/2 cups boiling water; stir until gelatin dissolves. whisk in cream cheese until melted and smooth. Stir in pineapple juice. Let stand for 30 minutes. Gently fold in dessert topping. Divide lemon gelatin mixture among the wine glasses or dessert dishes, spooning about 3 tablespoons of the lemon gelatin mixtures atop green layer in each. (Or carefully pour lemon gelatin mixture over green layer in baking dish.) Cover and chill for 1 to 2 hours or until firm.

In a medium bowl, combine raspberry- and cherry-flavored gelatins and 2 1/2 cups boiling water; stir until gelatin dissolves. Let stand about 1 hour or until cool. Divide red gelatin mixture among wine glasses or dessert dishes, spooning about 2 tablespoons of the red gelatin mixture atop lemon gelatin layer in each. (Or carefully pour red gelatin mixture over the lemon gelatin layer in baking dish.) Cover and chill for 2 to 3 hours or until firm. Makes 16 (1/2-cup) servings. 

"On the Fritz"

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