This week, Laurel is in the midst of a couple of book projects for AAHA. I am stepping in with a Wednesday Wisdom for you. You can read more about me at our About Us page and email me at webmaster@wbtt.com if you have any questions or comments.
--Tammy
I am not a grief expert. That is Laurel's domain. But, I thought I might share some of my own story here with you, not only to possibly help someone out there who is dealing with grief, but to help myself too.
I have been working with Laurel and in the "pet loss field" for 10 years now. I started out at the Argus Institute at Colorado State University's Veterinary Teaching Hospital as their administrative assistant. I had no knowledge of pet loss, the human-animal bond, ClayPaws® kits, or any of the details at that time. I had the experience they needed for the job though. The rest of the in-depth knowledge I've learned along the way.
I was fortunate enough to gain not only a job, but a path that I am appreciative of each day. Some days, more than others. I say that because I have had some recent losses in my life. Pets and people.
About three years ago, I found a new home for my Luna cat. While she didn't die, it was a huge loss. It was a difficult decision, but we were trying to make life better for everyone involved. Including Luna, Miss Girl, and us humans. These two girls hated one another and there was always tension. Luna is in a good home with kids and a dog (she is bigger than the dog!) So, that loss is a little easier to bear.
Then about 2 years ago, we had to make the decision to euthanize our little Miss Girl (left) before we moved across the country to Oregon. There were myriad points that we considered while making our decision, and coming to the choice of euthanasia was painful, and is still difficult even this long later. I think, even though it is still painful for my husband and myself, that we probably did the right thing. She had a degenerative nerve problem that was getting worse, and she was the worst traveler I've ever seen in an animal. We were very worried that she might not survive the long car trip.
Dr. Kathleen Cooney (Laurel has told you about her and her in-home euthanasia service on our blog) came to our house and did the best job you could ask for in a tough situation. We buried Miss Girl at the farm where I lived for many years. To date, that day stands out as one of the hardest. While burying her, I found my friend's dog dead on their porch. Awful.
Then about one year later, I lost my sister, Vicki. It was a very long illness (10 years or more) and she finally just couldn't fight anymore. She was only 52. I got to see her shortly before she died, and for that I'm very thankful.
I'm finding myself having a very hard time lately. I'm not sure why now, but I miss my Luna, and our little Miss Girl, and my sister. Grief isn't easy, and there is no timeline to follow. There are many layers to grief. I haven't cried very much for any of my losses since right around the time of the actual loss, and I think that I need to cry now.
I wanted to share this with all of you loyal readers because I know that grieving is so difficult. And it can help to know that other people (like me!) are having their own issues with grief and losses. Each loss is unique, but each is also important. Grieving for a pet is as important in my mind as grieving for my sister - and I know that Vicki would agree. She was a pet lover, and I was able to help her through several pet losses too.
I hope that if you are grieving for a pet, or a loved one, or facing a possible loss, you will give yourself permission to grieve. I'm giving myself permission to grieve for my kitties, and for my sister. I am doing that for myself.
