Are your Irrational Beliefs controlling you?
Each of us has developed a belief system by which we make decisions and form opinions about life, other people and ourselves. While oftentimes these beliefs guide us wisely along, sometimes they can be self-defeating. Such irrational beliefs, also known as "shoulds," can lead to feelings of anger, fear and unhappiness. Accepting and living by these beliefs can lower our self-esteem and negatively effect the quality of our relationships.
Do any of these sound like you?
- I SHOULD... be able to make everyone love and approve of me.
- I SHOULD... be competent, adequate and a high achiever in everything I attempt.
- I SHOULD... never feel bad.
- I SHOULD... be able to run my life so that it is problem free.
- I SHOULD... never lose control over my life, because it would be catastrophic and immobilizing.
- I SHOULD... not be in control of my happiness-it should depend on the actions and behaviors of others.
- I SHOULD... allow my childhood experiences to control me and determine how I feel and behave.
- I SHOULD... always try and help other people with their problems because I feel that I should always be able to do something about them.
- I SHOULD... have only one right course of action for any particular situation.
- I SHOULD... always be able to follow through or be successful at any task I take on. If I don't, it proves that I am a failure or that I have no willpower.
- I SHOULD... always allow my success (or lack of it) to be determined by others.
Take a look at your own beliefs. Do any of the above "shoulds" sound similar to the way you live your life? Are any of the above controlling how you live?
Awareness is an important step to changing the negative effects such beliefs can have over you. Developing a plan of action to alter those effects should come next.
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