To put it bluntly (as my sister, Kelly, says I am likely to do), every technique or product isn't for every head of hair. Although there are now products available that will coax soft beautiful curls out of what we were raised to believe was unmanageable hair, that doesn't mean those products will work for everyone. Hair care products are not miracles in a jar; they are just oil and fragrance and whatever else the company uses. You can't get mad at a company because the product doesn't make your hair look like that of the model because your neighbor may have perfect results from the same product. You also shouldn't spend a fortune chasing after some super product or routine that you think will make your hair do something it wasn't meant to do. 

The key to being a happy natural girl is learning about YOUR particular head of hair.  For instance, one thing I've learned is that a twist-out makes my hair look like a tangled mess. No matter how many different ways I do it or how many different products I put in my hair before I twist, the result is never the same as what I've seen in magazines and videos. So I stopped trying. I do my hair in the styles that I know work for me; two-strand twists suit me well. I evaluate products based on whether the texture of my hair after application is better than before, not whether I got the same result as a certain model or celebrity spokesperson. I appreciate my hair for what it CAN do, not what I fantasize it should be able to do. And since I have learned to accept MY hair for what it is and what it isn't, I've found my "hair happy place" and I hope you do too.