"Do you realise sometimes when you speak, it is like throwing a cowpat?" This is what a counsellor said to me a few years ago. Oh dear! It made me realise I needed to look at how I handle negative emotions.

We don't get taught how to handle negative or difficult emotions. As a result we often unwittingly and unintentionally project our 'shit' onto other people. Uncertainty, job losses, cuts & money worries create anxiety and negative emotion and there is a danger that people's emotional 'pressure cooker' will do more than simmer, it will blow more often and in more situations. Have you noticed this happening?

Social media such as Facebook and Twitter creates the danger that we will displace addressing emotions, pushing them down so they implode internally through health problems or explode externally. It will keep the lawyers busy, increase the divorce rate in marriages and businesses, create bullying and disengagement at work, lose us friends and give us stress. Managing emotions is an important thing to learn and improve, and not often seen on a 'to do list.' 

Negative emotion if directed in a positive way can be productive. It can energise action and it has fuelled a number of poems I have written. One called 'Corporate Bollocks' had anger about appalling customer service by Barclays as the catalyst. This brought to the surface years of suppressed frustration with 'jobsworth types', bad service, politics and bureaurcracy, creating a powerful poem. An unexpected gift from my bank. How ironic!

So how do you learn to deal with negative emotions?  Anger is always a 'cover over' emotion for other emotions, so a clue to what's simmering underneath. Read on for some tips.

 
1) Build your self-awareness; know your sensitivities, trigger points and their origin  - keeping a diary for a week is insightful.

2) Learn to coach yourself and/or get a coach. 

3) Take your 'emotional temperature'. Give yourself time and space to name difficult emotions and allow what is going on for you to emerge and be processed. Many people displace this with 'busyness'.  

4) Mapping out the 'vicious circle' of thoughts, feelings and actions is a useful technique I use with clients, and then changing it into a 'virtuous circle.' This is very empowering for people as they see what they can influence and change.

5) Read this book: "Practising the power of now" by Eckhart Tolle.

Does your work situation create negative emotions? Our career change e course will help you understand why this is and what career would work better for you. Click on the link below to find out more: