Many conversations that need to happen, never happen because feelings are suppressed. As a result misunderstandings are caused, assumptions made, anger created, bitchy conversations had, all because people are afraid to say how they really feel.
 

Silence isn't always golden. Providing information and expressing feelings helps create awareness, builds bridges and new understanding and emotional alliances are formed. Without people saying what they feel, molehills become mountains, the cracks that cause future divorces are created, employees emotionally withdraw from their jobs, reducing discretionary effort and much more.  How you feel is how you feel. Your individual feelings cannot be given counter argument as thoughts backed up with evidence can.

Giving someone the time, space and attention to express themselves is a great gift, especially in our 'busy busy' world. The fact that employee engagement can remain high despite redundancies happening if employees are given the opportunity to express their feelings and feel they have a voice, shows how powerful and important it is.  Having the opportunity to process and verbalise feelings, enables people to move forward, let some negative emotions go, as well as feeling acknowledged and heard. This is part of what coaching brings.  

Often people don't get around to doing something and procrastinate, whether career change or taking action because a block, often an unexpressed feeling or fear, is present.  I remember visiting my parents when they were in the process of downshifting from a larger house to a smaller one. My Mum expressed her frustration that Dad hadn't got around to moving his office yet. It was stalemate! By my questioning him to uncover the blocks as I am trained to do, there were 3 causes, one practical block and two emotional ones.  The practical block was he didn't have a system set up in his new office to slot the contents of his old office into. The emotional blocks were he felt very attached to his books, viewing them as 'old friends' and therefore not surprisingly was reluctant to throw or give them away, especially as he used to work in the book trade. He was also feeling demotivated as my parents hadn't tackled the move one room at a time, giving him a sense of satisfaction and seeing progress, but had done a bit of all the rooms at the same time. Feelings are worth expressing in the right way at the right time - something so simple can be hard and mastering it very powerful.

 
1)  If you sense something is 'up', ask what people really feel not what they think.

2)  Think of something that you need and want to express at home or at work but are avoiding.  What is the worst thing that could happen if you said what you felt?  How do the gains compare with any drawbacks and what is the opportunity cost of withholding your feelings?

3)  What have been the positive and negative impacts in your life and job of you not expressing your feelings?  Who do you know who is skilled at expressing how they feel and what can you learn from them?

4)  Thinking about a tricky situation you face what, when, where and how is the best way to express how you feel to someone?

5)  What fears are most often present that stop you from expressing yourself?  E.g. being 'over emotional', upsetting someone, being rejected, looking stupid, showing your vulnerability, not toeing the 'party line'?