Trust has had a bit of a knocking of late, hasn't it? Pensions aren't going to give us what we expected; the financial system and banks collapsed; parents are driving their kids to school instead of letting them walk; the government has overspent to such an extent that the country is practically bankrupt and companies have shelled lots of employees like peas, when they had assumed they would be employed there for life.

It is a bit like discovering that sweet looking man with a big stomach and a fluffy beard isn't what you thought all those years - Father Christmas, but is actually a paedophile.

So what creates trust and what destroys it? Who can you trust and how can you be sure? Some people trust easily and with others you need to earn it.  The proof is not in the pudding, but in the eating.

The dictionary definitions of trust are: "Firm belief that a person or thing may be relied upon. Feeling sure of the loyalty. Accepting as true without testing."

I don't trust people easily, although a lot more than I used to. Various things caused this including 'friends' being two-faced at school, so much so that I created a shell around myself and didn't really let anyone close again for years. The positive of this is that I became a great listener, key to my work.

For me trust is closely linked with reliability, respect and integrity - people doing what they say they will do, not letting you down, caring about your well-being, honouring who you are. If others share my definition, it is not surprising that trust is bruised with everything that has been happening in the world.

I guess every individual consciously or unconsciously chooses where on a scale they sit with others from 'open' to 'closed'. Ironically being closed can prevent trust from being established and built because closer relationships and trust form by disclosure - 'if you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine.' 

In the work I do, trust is everything so people can be open, we can work out what is going on and create a solution, whether coaching individuals or employee engagement.  Fear stops trust so how can you stop fear? That's a topic for another bulletin. Final thought - if there are only 2 emotions, love and fear, how can you create more trust?

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