|
 On Friday, July 22, 6:30 PM Or Chadash welcomes you to meet Rabbi Victor Appell, Marketing, Outreach and Communities Specialist for the Union for Reform Judaism. Rabbi Appell is a very engaging speaker and will talk about his personal experiences being a parent and partner in a non-traditional family. Rabbi Appell, his partner, Colin, and their two children, Avi and Lev, live in Metuchen, New Jersey. When he is not getting his two kids off to school or camp, checking homework, or reading bedtime stories, he and Colin are transporting his two boys from one sporting event to another. "Our sons have never met a sport they did not like! And Colin is the coach of Lev's t-ball team." Rabbi Appell's talk will begin after a brief Kabbalat Shabbat service to which everyone is invited. This event is open to all who wish to attend.
Speaking on Gay Marriage, New Jersey's gay family friendly laws, adopting two children, and being part of a multi-racial family.According to Rabbi Forman: "The Reform Jewish community has for centuries been a religious community which has been shaped by the evolving Jewish community itself.We are thrilled to welcome Rabbi Appell and look forward to his insights on the passage of the New York gay marriage law.OurReform Jewish community looks forward to hearing him speak about how this next step in civil law will bring our nation closer to embracing the Prophetic ideal of a community that, in the words of Isaiah, reflects the ideal of every synagogue: that it shall be a house of prayer for all people - not only those who are heterosexual, but everyone."
"When I was looking for my next pulpit, our search was limited to states which not only allowed but were receptive to gay adoption. We wanted a little brother for Avi. Florida, which prohibits LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transexual) people from adopting, was out of the question. Our search led us to New Jersey. Though New Jersey has yet to pass marriage equality, it has some of the gay family friendliest laws in the nation. Here, we pursued a public adoption. Despite the bureaucratic frustrations of working with a public agency to create a family, our being gay was never an issue. In fact, the social workers used to vie over who would do the home visits. They all told us how much they loved we way we had decorated our home. Hey, I'm happy to wear a stereotype when it serves my purposes! Again, in just nine months from beginning the process Lev completed our family."
Rabbi Appell shares an experience he recently had as he was completing an application for his older son to participate in the after school program. It asked for the names of his child's mother and father. "Now, for most people such questions are not stumbling-blocks. For most, they are not small acts of discrimination that over time chip away at one's soul. Nor are they reminders of how far they have come in their struggle for civil rights and yet how far they still have to go. You see, Avi has two dads. And while I sometimes still cannot believe that I am a parent (or a rabbi), I am still reminded of how far away LGBT people are from complete acceptance and civil rights.... But almost every time I am faced with some sort of form, my own invisibility becomes glaringly evident. Will I check off "married" or cross it out, and write in "partnered?" As any parent knows, you are always completing forms. Do I cross out the word "mother," or do I write a polite note suggesting that the form be updated? Or tired of what often feels like a daily struggle, do I simply refuse to complete the form? This time, for my son's sake and my own sense of dignity, I sent a strong, yet polite email to the director of the program, copying both the school principal and the superintendent of the school district. I complemented him on his presentation at the orientation and told him of the many fine things I had heard about the program. I explained that I was looking forward to enrolling Avi in the program but I felt unable to complete the enrollment application in its current form. I called his attention to what we know about the current make-up of families in the United States. Data from the 2000 Census indicates that 25% of households headed by same-sex couples have children. Estimates suggest that this represents two million children. Single parents account for 27% of family households with children under the age of 18. The 2000 US Census found that 2.4 million grandparents are the primary caregivers for the children in their families. I wrote that given this information, updating the forms would benefit a number of families in our town. So, I sent the email out. Not knowing if I would even receive a response I at least felt that I had done my part not to be invisible. In only three hours I received a response from the program director. He wrote, "Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We should have picked up on this long ago. We have already started to change our registration materials to reflect Parent/Guardian 1 & 2. We will look over all our materials to make sure we make this overdue change. We will not be handing out any more of the "old" forms."I could not have asked for a better response."
Biography:
Rabbi Victor Appell is a Marketing, Outreach and New Communities Specialist for the Union for Reform Judaism, the largest liberal branch of Judaism in the world which represents over 900 congregations in North America and over 1.4 million Reform Jews world-wide. Rabbi Appell works with congregations to help create a welcoming atmosphere for all. As part of the Outreach Specialist team, Victor consults in the areas of conversion, programming for interfaith couples and families and welcoming the increasingly diverse Jewish population into congregations. Rabbi Appell is the author of the "Think Small" sections in the Union's materials designed for synagogue leaders. His writings have appeared in Achim Magazine, Torat Chayim, Ten Minutes of Torah, Kulanu Handbook, The Gender Gap, and The Still Small Voice - Reflections on Being a Jewish Man.
Links to Rabbi Appell's articles and biography:
Click here to read an interesting article written following the Tyler Clementi suicide (October 2010) at Rutgers University.
Click here to read an article about gay marriage (2008).
Click here for an article written June 2011 in celebration of Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transexual month (includes photo of family).
Click here for the full article about indignities of school forms (asking for name of Mother and Father) and the school's positive response
Click here to read Rabbi Appell's full biography from the URJ.
Or Chadash is located at 149 Foothill Road, Flemington, NJ 08822
www.orchadash-nj.org, telephone 908-806-2122
Or Chadash, a Reform Temple serving Hunterdon, Warren, and Somerset Counties, is a vibrant and growing Jewish congregation. Our mission is multi-fold. As a synagogue, we hope to provide a warm and nurturing environment for everyone who walks through our doors. As an educational institution, it is our aim to provide our children with the background necessary to develop a love and enthusiasm for Judaism so that Jewish values might guide and enrich their paths through life.
For additional information:
Rabbi Joseph M. Forman, 908-806-2122
Betsy Zalaznick, Educator
Jaimee Gold, Administrator, 908-806-2122 |
