In the last two weeks we have been examining what grown-up female friendships are all about.  Every woman I know long for deep friendships with other women. The reason God put this longing in our hearts is because our lives can be tremendously enriched by the friends we have. I can personally attest to the fact that the godly women God put around me during the different seasons of my life have all contributed to who I am today.

To have grown-up female friendships, you should:

• Be willing to invest yourself in friendships (If you want a friend, be a friend)
• Discover the purpose for each friendship (There is a reason that friend is in your life)
• Rank each friendships by intimacy level (How deep into your heart and life should this friend be?)
• Open your heart to truly love (love can hurt but give it all you've got anyway)
• Set healthy boundaries (Let your friend know what is acceptable and what is not)
• Embrace the differences between yourself and your friends (Doing this enriches you)
• Communicate wisely ( Wisdom is needed in knowing what to confront and what to overlook)

Forgive and seek forgiveness. Be willing to forgive your friends after they hurt you, and ask them to forgive you after you hurt them. Know that this is not an option; it's something you must do to maintain healthy friendships. Remember that God has forgiven you and expects you to take His call to forgive seriously. Pursue reconciliation as well with those friends who are willing to restore their friendships with you.

Overcome destructive friendships. When you find yourself depending too much on your friends, the relationship is on its way to becoming spiritually destructive. Only God can meet your deepest needs...not your friends. A healthy friend: brings her own identity to the relationship, supports, is honest and truthful but not critical, does not try to manipulate you but encourages you instead, believes the best about you.  Stay away from relationships that are not healthy on your emotions. Avoid too much DRAMA!!!

Know when to let go.  Some friends are only for a season while others are for a lifetime. If you have lost a friendship because of another person's choice, accept that you can't control another person and don't try to force a relationship when she doesn't want one.

After a friendship ends, try to learn from the experience by asking yourself: "How could I have done this relationship better?" and "What can I learn from this painful experience and apply to my other relationships?" Allow yourself to go through the grieving process for a friendship you've lost. Ask God to use the loss of a friendship to refine your weaknesses and draw you closer to Him.

Reach out in crisis. When you're going through a crisis in your life (such as divorce, widowhood, a sick child, a death in the family, or your own illness), don't hesitate to reach out to your friends for support. When your friends are going through a crisis in their lives, reach out to them to offer them some of the hope and help they need.

Adapted from Grown-Up Girlfriends: Finding and Keeping Real Friends in the Real World, by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver.