AHHHHH! SUMMERTIME! Time for barbecues, beach chairs, lazy days and, oh yes: weddings, weddings, and more weddings. And all those weddings will involve some "speechifying" from fathers (and mothers) of the bride, best men and maids of honor. If you're on deck for a speech at a wedding, or other informal public occasion, are you quaking in your shoes at the prospect of facing that audience, champage flute in one hand, and microphone in the other? If you are, you're certainly not alone: Fear of public speaking is one of our top terrors!

What usually trips us up is the idea that the speech should be "perfect." We fear that, if we are not "perfect" we will be "found out" for the "frauds" we really are. We fear being shamed for "looking foolish," for appearing "inept." In short we fear being seen as the flawed, imperfect human beings that we are.

FACT: Your so-called "flaws," your very human-ness is what will connect you to your audience. After all, they are human, too. And your willingness to be a genuine human being, warts and all, speaking simply and genuinely from your heart, gives them permission to be just as human, allowing them to be genuinely receptive to you.

FACT: They don't want perfection. They want you.

And if you are rendered mute for a moment, choked by emotion, as you share a tender memory about your daughter, son-in-law or best friend, simply experience the moment for the gift that it is: A moment of genuine, human feeling. Breathe. Then breathe again. Your audience will be right there with you, happy to be sharing in this very real, very human moment. Then, get back to the task at hand, which is to toast your loved one in spoken word, to the best of your abilities.

And afterwards? Well... have another glass of champagne and toast to your courage! Because every time we face a fear, it shrinks a little!

???QUESTION: "I go to a lot of networking events where we take turns standing up and telling what it is that we do, in ten words or fewer. When it's my turn to stand and talk, I turn into a motor mouth! Before I know it, I'm spewing out jumbled paragraphs. It's like I go completely out-of-control! What can I do to stay on-track and to-the-point?"

ANSWER: Networking events are famous for issuing the order to "tell us what you do in ten words or less." And the average networker is famous for doing anything but! Time and time again, at networking luncheons and breakfasts everywhere, we stumble to our feet when called upon, twisting our napkins in our hands, and spew out not ten but twenty, thirty, forty words in quick successsion... and when we finally sit down, all flushed and flustered, we have failed, even with all those extra words, to make our point. It's that pesky fear again, taking control of our reins.

Practice and preparation is the key here. Control what you can, when you can. And that means doing some homework prior to the networking event.

Here's what to do:

1. Prior to the next networking event, in a neutral time and place, draft a description of what you do in ten words or fewer. And not a word more!

2. Thoroughly memorize those ten words by speaking them aloud-- to the mirror, to the dog, to your spouse, to the dashboard of your car.

3. Re-write that ten word intro onto a wallet- sized piece of paper, followed by this sentence: "My intention is to speak these ten words slowly, clearly and audibly." Refer to this piece of paper at your next networking event, as you sit and wait for your turn to stand and speak.

4. As your turn to speak grows nearer, stop eating and prepare to stand and speak: Put down your knife, fork or coffee cup. Move your chair slightly away from the table. Take your napkin off your lap and place it by your plate. When the person beside you has had their turn to speak, wait for them to sit before you stand. Take a deep breath, look around at your expectant colleagues, and see them for what they are: Human beings, just like you, there to support you and to listen to you. Take another deep breath. Then, remembering the intention you wrote on that piece of paper, slowly, loudly and clearly, speak the ten words you have practiced, and ONLY THOSE TEN WORDS.

5. When you're done, smile, sit down, and congratulate yourself for sticking to your script and your intention!

I often ask my clients "What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you in a public speaking situation?" Everybody's got a story-- from frisky, travelling shoulder pads, to incessant hecklers. We've all, at one time or another, felt vulnerable and exposed in front of an audience-- like this fellow in the barrel. It's often a relief to know that other folks have lived through -- and ultimately chuckled over-- similar, gut-wrenching public speaking situations.

With this in mind, we want to know: What's your story? Write us with your worst public speaking experience! In our next Newsletter we'll publish your most horrific stories, in hopes that sharing these experiences can help us learn from one another.

Remember: The more you speak in public, the easier it gets! So don't let one frustrating or challenging public speaking event stop you from trying again! And again! And again!

Curious to learn more about SPEEK's methodology and communication coaching programs? Visit the recently launched SPEEK WEBSITE created by the team of experts at Inner Circle Media (www.innercirclemedia.com) of Ann Arbor, MI.

email: info@s-p-e-e-k.com

phone: 734-622-0522

web: http://www.s-p-e-e-k.com