Most likely you have been hard at work, working hard. If you are like most conscientious leaders, you are consistently doing everything you can think of to improve your results, reach your goals, and get everything done on time.
All this hard work takes time, lots of time. According to USA today this week, 60% of working Americans are overworked and emotionally exhausted.
We are all familiar with the never-ending process of working long and hard, and are fully aware that the work-load never lightens up because once we complete a project, something else gets added to the list. The endlessness of the to-do list can be exhausting as the list of top priorities needs our on-going attention.
With the way many of us spend our time, work often becomes all encompassing, taking over our lives leaving us stressed out, too tired for much of a social life, and with very little left over for ourselves.
Does this have a familiar ring to it?
Isn't this just the way it is when you work hard?
A few years ago a client of mine noticed he was feeling very overworked, overwhelmed, and woke up one day noticing he had no life, except of course, for work.
Does this have a familiar ring to it?
Tom (name changed to protect confidentiality) had a big job that he loved. He was in charge of running a department in a corporation with responsibilities to his management team, his employees, and his boss. Even though the business was moving along nicely, Tom felt less happy, less healthy, and his wife and children complained that they missed him terribly as he spent more time either working (six days a week and getting home after 7:30PM every night) or crashing and burning when he finally did arrive home and actually managed to put down his lap top and phone.
Does this have a familiar ring to it?
Tom, of course, felt badly he had missed many ballet recitals, basketball games and date nights with his wife. To add to his misery, when the weekends came, he was too tired to do much because he was so exhausted from the long work week. Tom felt stuck and couldn't see any easy way to change his situation. The facts, as he outlined them were that work was really busy, he was the primary bread winner for his family and needed to work hard, and working hard and long was necessary to get it all done well. And yet, Tom knew if he continued living and working this way, his family life could be permanently damaged, along with his health and well-being. He knew something had to be done. But what? Didn't everybody work this way?
During a coaching session one day, Tom and I came up with a creative solution to incrementally (sometimes baby steps is just the perfect solution) change his life so that it wasn't all about work, all the time.
We called this solution, The Game of Life.
The Game of Life.
The instructions for the game are found below. The objective is to gain as many points as you can in any given year. The more points you get, the more you win. My competitive nature loves this game!
Instructions:
- Make a list of everything you want to do outside of work. Things you love to do. Things you don't have time for but wish you did. Activities you've let slip somehow over the years that you have a passion for. Some things on Tom's list included:
- Dinner out with wife.
- Attend activities/sports kids are involved in.
- Playing guitar.
- Listening to music.
- Exercising.
- Going to concerts (he loves music).
- Visiting with friends.
- Hiking in the mountains or walking outdoors someplace beautiful.
- Going for a bike ride.
- Going to a Red Sox game.
- Taking the family on vacation.
- Spending time with each child alone.
- Coming home early one night a week.
- Night out with the boys.
- Skiing weekend.
- Once you have your list, assign a point value to each item on your list. Items that are more meaningful might get more points. Tom, assigned one point to most things on his list but doing anything with his wife; he gave those things two points since they often dropped off when the schedule became tight. Night out with the guys also got 2 points because it was so challenging to actually pull it off.
- After assigning point values, decide how many points you'd like to accrue in a given year as your "end game" goal. The first year, Tom decided to win his Game of Life, he would need to get himself 15 points and he did.
- Start playing and keep track of your points. Maybe you make a big chart and put it up at home or at the office, or maybe it's a scrolling message or screen saver on your computer or phone to keep it top of mind and in front of you. At the end of the year, count up the points and see how you did!
- Make your goal; you win!
It's been 15 years, and Tom is still playing the Game of Life. Tom found this a non stressful and fun way to make time for the important things and people in his life. Maybe this game might be helpful for you or someone you know. Here is what Tom emailed me last week; it made me smile.
"Hello, Wendy! I'm still playing "Game of Life" and tracking,
and I hit the target number last night. 72 points! A nice
reminder of our work together and a long-lasting life habit now."
Is there something more you'd like to explore for yourself or your organization on this topic, email us at info@visionquestconsulting.com
From our Vision Quest Consulting family to yours, happy holidays and here's to your next bold move!
