Yesterday I surprised myself.  I sat through the entire memorial service for pop singer Jackson.  I am not even particularly a Michael Jackson fan.  But I am a fan of popular culture, and the media attention made me look again at this complex personality.  Besides as a rabbi, I often conduct funerals for a living (but never for two hours).  How would the funeral of such a complicated personality be conducted?
       I suppose the words that come to mind when I think of Michael Jackson are words I spoke the Shabbat after his death.  "He was a man with immense talents, but he was a man with immense demons."  He changed the music industry and touched millions of people.  Yet he was haunted through much of his adult life, and deeply unhappy.  How do we capture that balance between the talent and the demons?
       The music at the funeral was certainly glorious.  But my favorite spoken words were those shared by the son of the late Rev. Martin Luther King.  If you are going to be a street sweeper, be the world's greatest street sweeper.  Each of us is given gifts by God.  And we need to be the greatest we can be in pursuing those gifts, whether a musician and entertainer or a street sweeper.  People can be great, make a difference in the world, and still be haunted by demons.
       This brings me to our weekly portion and another complicated human being, Pinchas the grandson of Aaron the High Priest.  Pinchas, in a moment of passion and anger, took action and killed the ring leaders of an orgy between the sons of Israel and the daughters of Moab.  As a result God rewards Pinchas with a covenant of peace.  The rabbis debated at great length how a man can receive a reward from God for a violent act, even a necessary violent act.  Pinchas did what he needed to do in the heat of the moment.  What intrigues me is how it affected him.
       The Zohar points out that when the Torah writes Pinchas' name at the beginning of this portion, it writes it with a diminished yud.  Yud is the tiniest letter of the Hebrew alphabet, and in Pinchas name it becomes even tinier.  Yud is also the first letter of God's name.  Part of God's image was diminished in Pinchas.  In his moment of passion he lost part of himself.  He lost part of his sense of being in the image of God.  He too became a man haunted by demons.
       I understand how violent if necessary acts can haunt a person.  I remember once a conversation with a member of an elite military unit.  He had often been forced into actions that most of us could not fathom.  He did things many would consider immoral to protect the security of his nation.  But he felt somehow diminished by his activity.  This tough military officer actually asked me, "Do you think God will ever forgive me?"  We can do important work and still feel haunted.
       What would I have said if I had been invited to speak at Michael Jackson's funeral?   I would have spoken about his gifts and his talents, and how he gave them to the world.  He probably would not have spoken about his demons, except to mention them in passing.  Eulogies are a time to remember a person's positive accomplishments, not his or her shortcomings.  But everybody who watched that funeral knew that Michael Jackson had his demons; his yud had been diminished.
       There is something universal about this message.  Each and every one of us has great gifts to give the world (even if it means being the world's best street sweeper.)  And each of us is haunted by our own demons.  We each have some area in our lives where we feel God's image has been diminished in our own souls.  I suppose one of life's great questions is - how do we strengthen our gifts while overcoming those demons.  Michael Jackson struggled with that question.  In our own way, we each must struggle with it.