FAM Monthly Newsletter

February e-Newsletter

Volume 1 Edition 3

February 2009

Greetings families!

I don't know about you, but I am really looking forward to spring! The short spell of warm weather we had recently really has me longing for the crocuses and daffodils to peek through the dull browns of winter.

Thank you for your continued interest in foster care and adoption. Subscribing to the FAM e-newsletter keeps you abreast of the latest information and events for foster and adoptive families in the northwestern corner of CT. Please visit our website for weekly updates and the newest information on foster care and local events.

Recently, FAM added a Caregivers Resource Page to our website that provides our readers with links to articles and websites relevant to our readers' lives. If you have a favorite resource you wish to share please contact us and we will be happy to add it to our Caregiver resources page after reviewing it.

Beginning this month, the FAM e-newsletter will contain an article highlighting a particular child in need of an adoptive placement. This month we feature Emily, a delightful young teenage girl. Emily and her worker are hoping that she will find her forever family soon. We hope reading about Emily touches you and your family and that one of our readers becomes Emily's new mom or dad.

More exciting news - in order to expand our reach into the community, FAM has engaged the assistance of a second recruiter. Her name is Mary Grady and she has a wealth of experience to share with us. Mary has an MSW and most recently has worked in San Diego, California with Child Protective Services. Mary has in-depth experience involving reunification, treatment level foster care, foster care recruitment and has worked with youth in residential treatment centers. If any of you would like to get in touch with Mary she can be reached by e-mail at fam_recruiter@yahoo.com. Her new phone number is coming! We know you will join us in making Mary feel welcomed into the northwest CT community. Mary will be concentrating on recruiting families in the New Britain area, an area that has had no collaborative representation in quite some time.

FAM would like topic suggestions for future issues. We look forward to publishing your children's stories, poetry or artwork. FAM also publishes photos submitted by our families with written permission from the legal guardian. Please send your submission to our PO Box or email us. As always, we welcome your questions, comments, suggestions and opinions.

Best wishes,

FAM Joins Facebook

FAM is pleased to announce that we are now a listed cause on Facebook. We would like to invite all foster and adoptive families and their extended families and friends to join us on Facebook. In addition to being a cause, FAM is also listed as a group which individuals can also join.

As a cause on Facebook, FAM can accept donations from the public. Donations are used primarily to fund activities for foster and adoptive families and secondarily to promote recruitment of additional families for foster children in Connecticut. The direct beneficiary of our current campaign will be the Mother Daughter Tea in May.

What excites us most, though, is that FAM will have the opportunity to facilitate communications between members of the cause. We look forward to hearing your voices around the topics of foster care and adoption!

FAM staff is happy to report that the child originally featured in this article has found her forever family!

For more information about children available for adoption please contact:

Kathy DePasquale, (860)550-6511
Bureau of Adoption and Interstate Compact Services,
Department of Children and Families,
505 Hudson Street, Hartford, CT 06106

"It Takes A Village.........."
Laurie M. Reisman, LCSW

            My philosophy as a clinical social worker has always been that families with children suffering from mental health problems need the appropriate skills, tools, and services to effectively help their child. These families often encounter deficit based delivery systems and somehow get stuck. I never understood why. Then my daughter, Alana, started me on a journey I never expected to take.

            It began in 2004. Alana, then 6 years old, began having what we thought were night terrors. It made sense until they started happening during the day. She became combative, mutilating herself and anyone who got in her way. Seizures were diagnosed and then quickly dismissed as we made our way to our first psychiatric admission.

            Since that first admission, Alana has been in over 12 placements, including psychiatric hospitalizations and sub-acute stays. It is only now that I really understand what the parents I worked with were going through. I understand what it is like to be blamed for my child's behavior because she doesn't fit neatly into a diagnostic category. I understand what it is like to watch your child end up in a restraint when all you want to do is hold her. I understand what it is like to feel like you are living in a fishbowl as everyone judges your every interaction. I finally understood the toll mental illness takes on a family.

            Instead of giving up, I decided to share our story and view this journey as an opportunity to grow as a professional and a parent and pass along what we learn along the way.

Families need to understand our behavioral health system. The child's parents are in charge of treatment. They need to know how outpatient therapy and other treatment modalities differ, what the admission criteria are and, how to access them. I would urge parents to familiarize themselves with their insurance benefits and to know how and when to seek help from the state health care advocate.

Make it your business to research your child's diagnosis. Get together with other parents to advocate for extra support, for improved DSM diagnoses; for accommodations needed at school; and for specific protocols in treatment facilities. Parents who choose to advocate can increase the availability of mental health resources. Get involved! Find other parents in the same situation! Encourage your family therapist to start a parent support group. There really is power in numbers.

All parents need to be able to advocate on behalf of their children. It's important to compile a complete history of your child's illness, medications and hospital admissions. This document should combine medical, family and, educational information. This narrative should be kept up-to-date and used to educate any new provider who may be unfamiliar with the case. This summary can help bring providers together as a cohesive outpatient treatment team, so if the child goes to the hospital, everyone agrees about the interventions that are needed and the discharge criteria. I found that doing this was invaluable to my child's treatment and my own sanity.

When a child is in acute distress and the family has knocked on many doors seeking help, they may be grappling with many feelings including helplessness and fear. Even when there's no solution in sight, professionals must listen to accounts of the nightmare and grief at losing the dream of a "perfect child".

Every professional can and should help parents make time to care for themselves.   Siblings, who often feel upstaged by the ill child's symptoms, may also need coping strategies that let them adapt without losing their childhood or their sense of self.

Alana and I continue on our journey, and it's not an easy road. What we have learned is to listen to each other and remember that we are in charge of the illness and its' treatment, even when it doesn't feel like it and also that there is a whole village of people behind us who can help. Parenting a child with mental health challenges has taught me that it takes a "village to raise a child". I encourage you all to be part of someone's village.

Host a Fosterware Party

Have you ever wondered what you could do to help find homes for waiting kids? Consider hosting a Fosterware party. These parties are based on the Tupperware home party concept and are designed to provide information to partygoers about ways they can help.

FAM presenters come to your home and talk with groups of three or more of your friends and neighbors about our foster care and adoption programs.Our presenter makes a brief presentation and brings literature and goodies for all partygoers. Hosting families are given a small stipend to cover the cost of food and drinks. Contact Deb Kelleher to arrange a presentation.

Please help us find good homes for great kids!

Did You Know?

The brain goes through dynamic changes during adolescence. Damage from alcohol at this time can be long-term and irreversible. In addition, short-term or moderate drinking impairs learning and memory far more in youth than in adults.
The feelings and impaired behavior that signal intoxication in the adult brain are delayed in the adolescent brain. This can lead to overconsumption and even alcohol poisoning, which is potentially fatal.
An adolescent brain that is exposed to alcohol and other chemicals is more susceptible to depression and other mental illnesses.
Nearly 20% of 12-20 year olds are considered binge drinkers.
Research indicated that adolescents who use alcohol may remember 10% less of what they have learned than those who do not drink.
Alcohol affects the sleep cycle, which results in impaired learning and memory.

*Printed with permission from Cheshire Youth and Human Services

Lizard Foster Care Expo