new FAM logo
July e-Newsletter
FAM Website Photos
Volume 1 Edition 8
July 2009
FAM Balloons Greetings families!

It is hard to believe that we have hit the halfway point in the summer already.  FAM staff and partners are looking forward to our annual Quassy Family Day on August 7 - which is right around the corner!  Families from all of our partner agencies have responded and it looks to be the biggest and best Family Day yet. 
 
This month our newsletter contains information on the TPR process or Termination of Parental Rights.  We asked an attorney at DCF to write it because we heard from parents that this was an issue that needed clarification.  Certainly it is an issue that creates added stress in households where families are anxiously waiting to find out if they will be adopting a child in their care.  So we responded by asking for help from an attorney who is known for his "parent-friendly" manner and depth of knowledge.  I am sure you will find the article informative and clear.  And I encourage you to continue asking us to write and print articles that you find helpful.  We are glad to do so. 
 
Speaking of helpful - FAM is working on a project to increase community awareness and involvement in adoption.  We have begun to recruit churches across the state to help us promote adoption during National Adoption Month in November.   If you are involved in your faith community and would like to help please contact me.  We know that foster and adoptive parents are the most powerful recruiters of other parents for our kids and I feel strongly that I will need your help to make this venture a success.  So please consider donating some of your (not so) available time to publicize the need for more homes for our kids! Details about this initiative are available on our website.  (Click here.)
 
Finally - I have put together a list of books on foster care and adoption.  This list is available on our website also.  (Click here.) What would make this list much more valuable to other parents are reviews by you.  So please email me with your comments and I will post them beneath each book for others to read.  I am also interested in adding book titles to the list so please suggest away!  
 
Enjoy the warm weather (finally) and I look forward to seeing many of you on August 7th.
 
AJ
Gavel
 
 
What is a Post TPR Appeal?
by Matthew LaRock, Esq 
  
Imagine that you have been caring for a child for quite some time with the hope of adoption.  In addition to all the joys and challenges of parenting you also have to endure the termination of parental rights trial.   Eventually you learn that the Court has granted the termination of parental rights petitions (TPR) and you can finally adopt!  You are so excited - then you learn that the parent is going to appeal the court's decision and the adoption must wait.  Appeal?  What is it and what does it mean to me?
 
After a termination of parental rights trial that grants DCF's petition, the parent can challenge the legality of the TPR finding by appealing the decision to the Appellate Court.  The parent has a limited time period in which to file the appeal of the court's decision.  The appeal must be filed within twenty days from the date of the decision.  The Court may grant an additional twenty day extension of time to file under certain circumstances.  Therefore, the parent may have up to forty days to file an appeal.  The good news is that the Court cannot grant any further extensions so the time to take an appeal cannot be extended past forty days from the issuance of the decision.  Why can a parent be granted the additional twenty days to appeal?  One reason is in many instances the parent is indigent and represented by court-appointed counsel.  Under the Connecticut Practice Book (the rules that lawyers and judges must follow), a court-appointed attorney may decline to represent the parent when in the attorney's professional opinion the appeal lacks merit. If the court-appointed attorney declines to represent the parent, the attorney must file a timely motion to withdraw his/her appearance and request an extension of time to file the appeal as described above so that there is enough time for another lawyer to review the case.  The Court then notifies the Chief Child Protection Attorney to assign another attorney to review the case record.  If the second court-appointed attorney also determines that there is no merit to an appeal, the attorney must inform the court and the Chief Child Protection Attorney at the earliest possible moment.  The parent will then be informed that they have the balance of the time remaining of the forty days to retain their own counsel to file the appeal.  Even with all this happening, the time to take the appeal still will not be extended past forty days.
 
What happens if the parent has filed a timely appeal challenging the legality of the Court decision to terminate his/her parental rights?  Are the parents going to be successful?   It won't be easy.  The Appellate Court may reverse or modify the decision of the trial court if it determines that the factual findings are clearly erroneous in view of the whole record or that the decision is otherwise erroneous in law.  The Appellate Court's function is to determine whether the trial court's conclusion was legally correct and factually supported.  It does not retry the case.  In fact, there are no witnesses or testimony in an appeal. Instead of witnesses and testimony the Appellate Court reviews the record of the trial.  The record is everything that the trial judge had in order to reach his/her decision.  That includes all the documents filed by DCF, the parents, and the child and a transcript of all the testimony and copies of all the exhibits.  The Appellate Court does not examine the record to determine whether the trier of fact could have reached a conclusion other than the one reached, nor does it substitute its own opinions or judgment for that of the trial judge.   Rather, on review by the Appellate Court, every reasonable presumption is made in favor of the trial court's ruling. This standard of review was recently reiterated by the Appellate Court in the case of In Re Anthony A., 112 Conn. App. 643 (2009). In short, the parent has an uphill battle.  The Appellate Court is clear that it is not going to retry the case and will only reverse or modify the findings of the trial court when there is a clear error.  For instance, the Appellate Court will not reverse a case just because the parent does not agree with the decision or because the parent thinks that the trial court was wrong to believe one witness over another.  Also, the Appellate Court is open to the public and you have the ability to attend and listen to the oral argument presented on the legal issues raised in the appeal.  
  
The obvious drawback and the one that causes the most difficulty for foster parents and their children is that the adoption cannot proceed until the appeal is decided in DCF's favor.  Unfortunately, there is no specific timeframe as to how long the appeal process will take as every case is unique.  However, Connecticut General Statutes Section 46b-142(d) provides that any party who appeals a final judgment in a termination of parental rights proceeding shall be entitled to an expedited hearing before the Appellate Court.  The statute also includes language that a final decision of the Appellate Court shall be issued as soon as practicable.   This statute shows that the legislature and the courts recognize that time is of the essence when dealing with a child's life and therefore termination of parental rights appeals must be handled in an efficient and timely manner.  Can a case last more than a year?  Yes.  But, typically cases run their course within a year.  Although this can be a stressful time for families waiting to adopt, they can take comfort in knowing that only a small percentage of appeals overturn the original court ruling.
 
The above provides general information on the appeals process.  Please contact CAFAP, DCF or the child's attorney for information pertaining to a specific case.                     
  Jordan
Jordan
 
Calling all Pokeman fans!  Ten year old Jordan is infatuated with everything that has to do with Pokeman and can happily be found indoors watching the movie or playing with toys associated with the movie.  Jordan is a friendly and talkative little man who will do well on any future debate team as he loves to debate any point of view.   He is very inquisitive and intelligent and can grasp the concept of any intricate video game right from the start.  Using a microscope is an activity he enjoys. 
 
Challenges in life have resulted in Jordan having significant emotional needs, some being attributed to his diagnosis of Autism.  Despite this diagnosis, Jordan loves to socialize with adults while being with friends is a challenge for him.  Jordan will thrive in a home where he can be the only child or have an older brother.  A two parent family would be ideal as Jordan's energy level will require a lot of one on one attention and constant supervision.  Re-direction is needed at times due to Jordan's inability to understand appropriate boundaries. 
 
Teachers at school genuinely like Jordan and he can be well-behaved.  Math and Art are two of his favorite subjects and mainstream classes allow him to reach his potential.  Transition time is difficult for Jordan and his individualized school plan allows him to be transported and educated in a more attentive manner. 
 
A life long commitment from a family will allow Jordan to thrive and overcome life long challenges.
Information regarding Jordan is available through Kathy DePasquale at the Department of Children and Families.  Kathy can be reached by email or by phone at (860) 550-6511.

 
Ed and his sons
 Redefining Family

 

Ten years ago Sharnel and Ed decided to become foster parents, thinking that sometime down the line they might care for a child who fit their family so well that they would consider adoption.  So they attended classes and filled out mounds of paperwork and finally they were licensed in the year 2000.  Since then they have cared for 20 to 30 children.  As to why they continue to foster parent - Sharnel says, "We really want to help kids.  I love being there to give the kids a good start in life and give them everything a child deserves.  I just love taking care of them."  Sharnel's home is a testament to her words.  It is clear that this is a house where children's needs are always considered.    It's neat and tidy but evidence of children is everywhere - from the highchairs in the kitchen to the toys in the living room.   Children's photographs abound on the walls.  And this mom glows when she talks about the children.  All of the children... 

Sharnel and Ed's lives changed when they became foster parents - although at the beginning they had no idea that the changes would be with them forever - literally!  In 2003, Kristian, a newborn baby boy was placed in their care.  He was found to have special needs so Sharnel and Ed attended classes to expand their license to care for medically complex children.   Kristian was their foster child for a year before TPR was granted and they adopted him 6 months later.  Many foster children eventually are adopted by their foster parents.  What is unique about this family, though, is their close relationship with Kristian's birth mother and how they have chosen to handle many of the birth families of children in their care.   

  As Kristian grew Sharnel worked hard to guide his birth mother so that she could be involved in more and more of his care while he was a foster child. This family made extraordinary efforts to keep her in Kristian's life and does so to this day.  Sharnel says, "I felt compassion for her and her circumstances and I didn't want her to feel that just because I was caring for her child permanently that we did not want her involved.  I wanted her to feel included and important.  I wanted her to be a witness to his life."  Sharnel and Ed are caring people.  So they did what they feel any caring family might do.  They signed an Open Adoption Agreement giving the birth mom generous access to Kristian.  They provided her with Sharnel's cell phone number and invited her to call frequently and visit liberally.  Over the past four years Kristian's mom has averaged a visit a month.  Because the birth mom has no transportation Ed often picks her up and drives her to their home - and drives her home.  She is invited to dinner at every major holiday and she always celebrates Kristian's birthday parties.  She is now a part of their family.  Ed installs the air conditioner in her window in her apartment during the summer.  When she has run out of food and money Ed and Sharnel have taken her grocery shopping and bought her food.  She often tells Sharnel how happy she is that Kristian is with them because she considers Sharnel a "great mom."  As for Kristian's birth dad - Sharnel says, "He also considers us family and remains involved in Kristian's life but to a lesser extent - by his own choice" because this bighearted family would be happy to have him visit as frequently as Kristian's mom does.  But their generosity does not end here.     
In 2005 another newborn was placed in their foster home.  Like Kristian, Quentin had some medical issues at birth.  Although his birth parents tried to regain custody, they could not meet the goals set for them by DCF and the courts and in 2008 TPR was granted and Sharnel and Ed adopted Quentin.  Again, they offered to have an Open Adoption with the birth parents.  Sharnel had gotten to know the birth mother slightly through ACR meetings at DCF and through visits where Birth to Three services were provided.  She felt strongly once again that her son and his birth parents needed to maintain a relationship.  An attorney was procured through CAFAP and an agreement was drawn up.  The birth mom signed the agreement; however, the birth father refused and has had no further contact with Quentin.  Birth mom did not contact Sharnel for a year after the adoption but has since resumed visiting with Quentin and his adopted family.  Sharnel thinks it just might be time for her also to visit Quentin in his home but until now has handled visits by meeting birth mom in parks and public places.  About post adoption visits, Sharnel says, "For any foster parent considering Open Adoption, I would advise caution at first.  I only give out my cell phone number and we take it slowly so that we can get to know the birth parent.  By the time we had Kristian's birth mom coming to our home I was very comfortable with her and knew she would respect our roles and our home. I also know that the Open Adoption agreements can always be changed if for any reason a parent feels that continued contact is not good for the child."  
  
Kristian is five now.  About his birth parents Sharnel says, "He calls them by their first names.  He has no idea they are his birth parents.  He is only 5 and has developmental delays so we feel that knowing so might confuse him and make him anxious so we are waiting to explain it all to him.  We will tell him when we feel it is appropriate.  He will know he's adopted when we feel that he will understand the concept when we tell him so I am sure when he does know he will start to ask questions some day and it will just naturally come up."  
 
Since adopting Quentin, Sharnel and Ed have begun the adoption process on another child who was placed in their care in 2007.  And this caring foster mom has again begun the task of relationship building with her newest foster son's birth mother.  The TPR was granted, the Open Adoption agreement has been signed by the birth mom and they are waiting for the Appeals Court to hear final appeals in the case.  They remain optimistic and hopeful that the Court will allow this child to grow up in the only home he has ever known.  But they also understand the risks - so for now they wait.
 
What is on the horizon for this family?  Well, next week they will attend a 1st birthday party for one of their former foster children - a child who recently returned to the care of his mom.  Sharnel opened her heart and her arms to this mom as well - and the mom has opened her arms right back.  Sharnel's voice broke and her eyes welled with tears as she explained, "One day the birth mom said to me 'Not that I want my child to be in foster care, but at least if he has to be there he is with you.  Not only have you given my son things but you have given me things.'  You have no idea what it meant to me to hear her say that.   In nine years (of doing foster care), this is the only child who has gone home to his mom.  I mean I offered to attend doctor's appointments and help her with anything she needed and it means so much to me that I could help make a difference."  
 
Sharnel and Ed have an empty bed in their home right now that this child once slept in.  Soon, a new little boy or girl will sleep there.  And this family can begin to work their magic once again.
Party Hats  Fosterware Parties
 
Have you ever wondered what you could do to help find homes for waiting kids?   Consider hosting a Fosterware party.  These parties are based on the Tupperware home party concept and are designed to provide information to partygoers about ways they can help.

FAM presenters come to your home and talk with groups of three or more of your friends and neighbors about our foster care and adoption programs.Our presenter makes a brief presentation and brings literature and goodies for all partygoers.  Hosting families are given a small stipend to cover the cost of food and drinks. 

Please help us find good homes for great kids!
Contact Deb Kelleher at 203-706-0101 for more information or to schedule a party.
 Our Kids Corner 
"It kind of makes me feel sad when I think of my brother joining gangs and carrying razor blades for weapons.  He doesn't have a home and he really doesn't have any friends.  I really wish he had found a home when he was little like I did.  I worry about my brother.  The last time I talked to him was Christmas Day."
 ~Noah, age 10, regarding his brother who 
recently turned 19 and signed himself out of DCF care. 
 
 Margaret Mead quote
In This Issue
Waiting Children

Please click on the AdoptUSKids link to view CT's children and youth waiting to be adopted.
Upcoming Events
Family Fun Day
Quassy Amusement Park
August 7, 2009 


Bells of Hope
Place: TBD
November 1, 2009


Open House  schedule available on our website
Prospective foster and adoptive parents are welcome at any Open House listed on our website.  Please call Deb Kelleher or email for information or to schedule an individual appointment.  203-706-0101
In the Meantime... 
Diverse group
The next meeting of our support group for waiting families will be held on Monday, August 10 at 6:30 at the Bunker Hill Congregational Church in Waterbury.  For more information call Deb Kelleher at 203-706-0101 or visit the website for more details.
Wednesday's Child
WTNH logo
 
WTNH Channel 8 airs a weekly segment featuring CT children available for adoption and families formed through adoption.  Click on the logo  above to see recent video segments hosted by Ted Koppy. 

Voices in Foster Care
Bedtime Story 
"I hate it when people say they can't do foster care because they could never give a kid back.  Of course, its painful!  I didn't change Jacob's sheets for a week after he left just so I could smell his scent. I missed him so much... But you do it for the kids..."
    
     ~a foster mom  
Quick Links
Contact Information
Coordinator                                                    Recruiter
Deb Kelleher
  203-706-0101                           Alan Murphy  860-949-4061