Carpe Diem - Seize the Day 

The sense of importance I place on time is likely due to my belief that life is very fragile.  People do not normally receive a text, email, or even a Fed Ex package with a warning that their time is about to expire.  I don't want to live with regrets and I know there are no "do-overs".  So I do my best to get it right.  In law enforcement circles, death is treated almost mathematically in hopes of explaining the unexplainable.  It is frequently mentioned, "When your number is up, it is simply up".

I can pinpoint where my perspective on life started to change.  It was while I was still in the Regional Police Academy.  I remember seeing my recruit class schedule of subjects which included criminal law, physical training, defensive tactics, firearms, vehicle operations, and then later in the curriculum,  Death Cases - Morgue.  Rumors quickly spread among the recruits that we would have to watch an autopsy.   I recall wondering if that was really necessary.  Our SDPD Training Officer insisted it was.  

When people are really nervous or scared they naturally take smaller steps.  That is of course unless they are running from a threat.   I was about the eighth person in the line of recruits as we entered the San Diego County Morgue.  We were taking small steps.  Wide eyed and scared, but none of us would have ever admitted it. We tried to walk with purpose and, of course, only breathe through our mouth.   { click to continue }

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(Carpe Diem continued..)

 I remember we were in a hallway approaching the main examination room when the attendant said matter of factly,"We had a busy weekend, we got quite a few waiting here in the hallway.Waiting in the hallway?I remember my fellow recruit from the east coast responded as only someone from New York can, "that's #&&^**, being dead, and your still stuck waiting in line".

Being nervous, we tried to suppress the laughter that began to spread among us.That is another thing about police work.It is frequently only with humor that you make it through your shift. Sitting on the front row of life, is not for the faint of heart and you can never really show your emotions.The public depends on you to perform your duties, despite the danger or challenge.

After passing several customers waiting in the hallway, I saw two I will never forget.The attendant said something about two high school kids were in a car accident as a result of a race.To this day, I recall very clearly two things about the young woman and man. They were young and they both had braces on their teeth.My first thought was of their parents.They where preparing their children for a life after high school they would never get to experience.

Any sense of levity immediately left our bodies.It was like the tin man loosing all his oil.Everyone seemed to take a deep breath at the same time and it became harder to walk. It was as if my feet were in mud.The silence was only broken by the metal door opening to the examination room.

It was sobering.I now knew with our chosen profession why we had to go that day.The first time of countless times, where I saw life end too early.Twenty four years of the front row seat which I would not change for anything in the world.A fantastic adventure that included brave cops stopping dangerous people including a strung out residential armed robber with a shotgun, who was intent on making sure our number came up that night.Thankfully, it was his.

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