An email recently came to the Support Department of a leading relationship software company.  

          "Dear Tech Support," the letter began. "Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow-down in overall system performance. The slow-down was particularly evident in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5. It then installed undesirable programs such as NASCAR 6.0, NFL 5.1 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate."

          "Dear Desperate," the folks at Tech Support replied, "We're sure we can help you. First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter the command: Ithoughtyoulovedme.html, then try to download Tears 6.2 as you also install the Guilt 3.0 update. If these applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta ... In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot integrate new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and overall performance. We recommend Lingerie 7.7. Good Luck! Signed, Tech Support.

          I noticed by the expression on their faces there were a few older members of our congregation who needed to download the WTHishetalkingabout 6.0 program.  :-)