Reflections Newsletter from Dr. Alex Lees

Reflections Newsletter
"People are not broken and in need of fixing... most people are just fine. They may simply need a tune-up."
Dr. Alexander R. Lees

In This Issue:

Alex discusses the second reframing technique called a context reframe. This technique is quite useful to know about and use. For example, I had the opportunity to use a context reframe on Alex the other day. Alex bought a can of foam to inject into a flat tire. It didn't work (the tire was still as flat as a pancake). He became annoyed and was about to throw out the can (which was still half full). I suggested he use the foam to fix the leak in one of the air mattresses we use to suntan with. Suddenly he was no longer annoyed and went about fixing the air mattress. Same foam; now used in a different "context." Annoyance gone. Air mattress fixed. Alex happy. And, he went about the business of getting the flat fixed in a much better frame of mind.

Susan has a lovely theme for herself for the coming year - living gracefully. She says her theme "Plays softy in my heart as background music in an elegant setting." What a beautiful sentence and sentiment. Here's to all of us having a little more grace in our lives.

Tom makes us aware of the importance of our ileocecal valve and how this innocent looking valve can sometimes (if it's malfunctioning) mimic the symptoms of many diseases. He provides a simple and easy "correction" we can do ourselves to get our ileocecal valve working properly.

I write about having a party in a cemetery. That's right; a party in a cemetery, and no, I haven't lost my marbles. Let me explain -- I'm talking about a very special national holiday here in Mexico - the Day of the Dead. It's not only a celebration of the dearly departed, it's also a celebration of life and living!

Enjoy!
Berit Lees, Editor

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Reframing Technique #2
By Dr. Alexander R. Lees

In the last article I introduced you to a very useful technique to know about called reframing, and also mentioned there were two forms, or types, of reframing. This article discusses the second kind of reframe called a context reframe.

To help clarify, the first type of reframing refers to a meaning reframe. A meaning reframe is based on the concept that human minds tend to reduce the vast amount of data available to a manageable size, therefore what we actually process, and are therefore cognitive of, is considerably reduced. Because of this reductionism, distortion can occur, and therefore when we find ourselves upset about something that happened, one possibility for that upset just might lie in our interpretation of what occurred.

A meaning reframe is about allowing ourselves to interpret what occurred a little differently. After all, the outcome is to feel better, and continue to feel good as much as possible, is it not? The other choice is to expend both time and energy on trying to be right, or 'winning' some perceived argument, and, as one university professor aptly put it: "How's that working for you?"

Let's now move on to a context reframe, and just for fun, let's throw some other techniques into the mix as well, just to keep things interesting. But first, here's but one definition of a context reframe.

A context reframe is based on the premise that all behaviours make sense given an appropriate context in which that behaviour is used.

Example:

Little Sammy is involved in a discussion with mom about his temper tantrums in class.

Mom decides to use a context reframe as part of the discussion.

She might begin the conversation with:

"Sammy, the teacher is very concerned about you losing your temper so often in class. She says it's very disruptive, and she is very concerned."

After Sammy finishes defending himself, blaming others, and so on, mother responds with:

"Sammy, there is nothing wrong with feeling angry sometimes. As a matter of fact, there are times when anger is the best way to feel."

(This kind of phrasing is an excellent way to set up the use of a context reframe. Sammy has just heard that his response could sometimes be okay, as opposed to the concept that he is totally wrong, and must change. This shift in state, from defensive to curiosity, is much more conducive to generating a listening state in Sammy, as opposed to the resistance caused by feeling defensive.)

"When is anger okay?" Sammy would probably ask.

"Okay," says mom, "Suppose someone were to find themselves in a burning building, and then they discover the exit door is locked. Becoming angry just might give them the extra strength to break the door or a window, and they could get to safety."

Remember, the above is but an example only. The word patterns used, and the example offered is age dependent and so on. Also, if the context used for the reframe doesn't work, this is simply feedback to offer a different one, as the same rule applies for both types of reframes; and that is that the one that is accepted is the correct one.

Now mom might follow up with:

"Okay back to the classroom. You become angry, or frustrated, (meaning reframe) in class sometimes. What do you do that for?" (This question is to separate the intent, or outcome, from the behaviour used to achieve it)

"It's not my fault," Sammy might reply, Suzie is always picking on me."

(Now the astute reader might notice Sammy has answered as if the question posed by Mom was a cause and affect question, normally referred to as a why question.

Why questions, specifically in these kinds of conversations, tend to generate justifications or rationalizations for behaviours. Justifying or rationalizing a behaviour tends to 'cement' or lock in that same behaviour, whereas the outcome is to change the behaviour, not support it.

Mom, catching this, might say something like: "Sammy, that may be the reason you lose your temper, or become frustrated, but my question is to help me understand what you hope will happen by you losing your temper. In other words, what do you hope will change?"

"Suzie will stop bugging me," Sammy replies.

"Sammy," says Mom, "we both know you have become angry in class several times. You have said so, and the teacher has complained about it several times. So tell me, has Suzie stopped bugging you?"

"No," says Sammy.

"Well, that just tells us that what you are doing isn't working, doesn't it? After all, you want Suzie to stop bugging you, and you say you've tried anger to get her to stop. Now, since she hasn't, how about we explore other ways to get Suzie to stop bugging you?"

"Okay," says Sammy, and now Mom and Sammy have an agreement frame, a state much more useful to negotiate Sammy's behavioural change.

By practising context reframes with Sammy, Mom will now be in an even more advantageous position when she switches back to training her husband, which from my experience, seems a lifelong occupation.

Here is one more example of context reframes and meaning reframes combined:

The pacifist leaned over the lawn mower and attempted to start it. After several gentle pulls on the rope without success, he appeared to lose his temper, began swearing, and yanked the rope as hard as he could.

The lawnmower started.

His neighbour, watching the performance over the low fence between their properties, couldn't help himself.

"Hey, John!" he yelled. "I thought you were a pacifist, never losing your temper and all that, and here you are yelling at the lawnmower. What Gives?"

"Everything is about context," replied John. I wasn't yelling, nor was I losing my temper. I was simply offering the lawnmower a free motivational seminar."

So now you have two more tools to add to your toolbox; a meaning reframe, and a context reframe. And, like the other techniques you have been introduced to, they can be used as 'stand alones,' or in combination, supplementing each other beautifully.

And one other thing; it is useful to remember that when I refer to combining these techniques, I'm certainly not limiting you to the techniques I write about.

Both Susan and Tom also offer you excellent techniques and information to help you live a better existence, to feel better on a variety of levels, be it mentally, emotionally and physically. Again, this poses an interesting query: "What do you suppose will happen when you decide, simply decide, to set aside some time for Self, and begin to combine the information presented by all three approaches?

If your reply is more confidence, more happiness, more ease in simply being, more enjoyment in life, and better relationships, then the response to that is: "You're right!"

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This Really is a True Story...

The following happened, here at Lake Chapala, Mexico. Demonstrating how to work the handcuffs to be used in the Lakeside Little Theatre's upcoming production of "No Clue," the director fastened them around the wrist of the actress. She immediately said she felt "uncomfortable." She assured her that there was no problem getting out of the cuffs and looked for the release button.

Unbeknownst to the the director, the handcuffs had been switched and had no release button, so a locksmith was called.

Nearing panic when the locksmith failed to show up, the director call the Chapala police department. They arrived ready and willing to help, but their handcuff key didn't fit. While they were trying to release the actress, they got an emergency call and went running off.

Not to worry, firefighters soon arrived with their lock cutters. However, the cuff was on so tight that there was no room to use the big cutters. Finally, just as the locksmith arrived, one of the firemen asked for a piece of wire. The cuff sprang open after about ten seconds of picking.

It just goes to show; sometimes it really does take a village - and a hair pin.

Excerpted from the Guadalajara Reporter, Oct. 29 - Nov. 4, 2011

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Phone Sessions... or as we like to call them...

House Calls by Phone

Alex is enjoying being "back in the saddle" and says a big "Thank You" to all that have contacted us!

We are on Central Time here in Mexico... so there's only two hours difference between the West Coast and us, and one hour difference with the East Coast. Europeans are seven hours ahead of us, so we would still be speaking on the same day. As for the rest of the world... we'll just have to figure out the best time for everyone. :-)

Here's how it works:

* Call using Skype, or

* Many people have long distance phone plans that cost 2 cents per minute or less (that's what we had in Canada). Therefore a one hour call would only be $1.20... or less.

* Payment is with PayPal.

If you have questions and/or would like to book a session,
Please email us

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Contributing Columnist Susan Stone is a licensed acupuncturist, certified in Eden Energy Medicine and Eden Energy Medicine for Women. In addition she is a Registered Bach Flower practitioner, an Acutonics practitioner, with a BS degree in Nutrition and Dietetics, and has been in private practice since 1977. Susan's other interests include a passion for dressage, mountain climbing, and life. Contact Susan at her clinic in the Boston, MA area. www.stonehealthcenter.com

A Year of Graceful Living
By Susan Stone

This is my theme for the coming year. It plays softly in my heart as background music in an elegant setting.

Grace is a beautiful word and one that we don't hear frequently in this day and age. We are bombarded with so much stimulation, noise, commotion and distractions. It takes mindfulness to live with grace. Graceful living is encountering each situation in our life with an open heart and a positive state of acceptance. Challenges can leave us feeling like victims (which is of no benefit to anyone), or we can grow. To grow we choose to accept, surrender, imagine and create a new reality for ourselves.

A life of graceful living is the antithesis of stress. Unless you're living in a cave, your life is probably stressful. I'd like to share my perspective on stress. What is stress? Stress is anything that makes you feel uncomfortable in your body, mind, or spirit. A first step is developing an awareness to realize and acknowledge how you are feeling. Often we are busy, caught up in all that we are committed to and become numb to the cues that our physical body is giving us. Awareness of our thoughts, listening to what your mind is saying will let you know if you're stressed. Are you worried, anxious, unhappy?

These feelings can be modulated with the next step of asking yourself "Is this a reasonable feeling or is this a reality that I don't need to react to quite so intensely?" If you find that you are overly reacting to something then EFT, flower essences, holding your Neurovascular points are all possible solutions. Alex gave a helpful technique of "Reframing" your reality in the October issue of Reflections.

The Bach Flower essences that are helpful for stress are:

Elm which is for when you feel easily overwhelmed;
Mimulus helps for anxiety, nervousness or fear;
White Chestnut is helpful for negative unwanted thoughts.

Your Neurovascular points are engaged by holding gently your forehead. Simply place either your fingertips of each hand on the area of your forehead directly over your eyebrows or else place one hand on your forehead and the other along the back of your head. Hold your hands until you feel a pulse underneath your fingertips. You'll find that you know longer feel stressed after holding this position for a while.

The most powerful technique for reframing my life has been using the ancient practice of singing "HU". HU, pronounced like "hue", can be sung to yourself or out loud. It has the most amazing effect. The vibration shifts your reality. It is a vibration that can connect you to achieve a higher perspective on your life, a difficult situation, or to open your heart to receive more love.

I will share a story with you about the HU. My husband and I were on a mountain climb in the Adirondack Mountains in upstate New York. We were with a group of friends, in total around 8 of us. A friend who had made this climb before suggested that instead of going back the way we came, which was going back down a very steep and difficult slide, we would bushwhack in a col between 2 of the 3 mountains we were climbing that day. It sounded like a good idea and had been done by others that we knew.

Our climb began uneventfully, but during the very steep ascent of the slide of the first of 3 mountains we were climbing that day, my husband, who is a Type 1 diabetic, was perspiring so heavily that his insulin pump that is attached to his body with a tube, became detached. This was the first time that this had ever happened, and not something we had anticipated. He hadn't packed another device, nor insulin and needles. In addition, he had already become so dehydrated that he started experiencing severe leg cramps. This was happening within the first four hours of our thirteen hour climb!

We asked him did he feel he could continue and fortunately he's quite strong and athletic and said he didn't want to stop. We really didn't have much choice because there is no cell phone coverage in this area in order to call 911. His blood sugar was pretty high but we had no recourse but to keep going. So we hiked the next two mountains as quickly as possible and decided our location to begin a bushwhack down between what we thought were the first two mountains with the best compass readings we could create.

No sooner than we started our descent we were in what is called cripple brush. This is when the forest is so thick you can't see in front of you, you can't even see your feet. We stuck so closely together. I started singing "HU" immediately.

This felt like a dangerous situation. My husband wasn't feeling well, we were hiking in treacherous conditions and we really didn't know how long it was going to take to get back to our car.

There was a whole section of the trail where we were hiking on blowdown. This is when the trees have been knocked down and have created a new "false floor". I took a step and my leg sunk into nothingness up to my hip. Our leader was feeling overwhelmed and unsure of our compass readings so while I was singing "HU" I asked inwardly for guidance and in my third eye I saw in front of me a golden thread leading through the woods.

I didn't announce my vision but suggested the path that we take. It was a miracle; shortly we landed on the trail right below the slide. We were all so relieved and I thanked my guides profusely. We still had a ways to go but if my husband needed rescuing I knew we were reachable.

We made it, but whenever we hike now we double tape his insulin attachment, drink a lot of water, consume electrolytes and carry a backup insulin attachment. I'm glad we lived to learn and I attribute my survival to the HU.

********************************************************************************* Yelling

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Contributing Columnist Tom Dorzab is a retired biologist from Kansas and now lives with his wife in Spain. Tom followed his passion and is now an energy medicine practitioner specializing in Eden Energy Medicine. Contact Tom here

Where Do I Start?
By Tom Dorzab

Are you bothered by an intrusive thought? Do you have an autoimmune disease? How about depression? I could go on like this all day long. The number of recognized diseases in the world is increasing as quickly as the pharmacological companies can design a drug for them.

That's not to say that world isn't sicker today than it was 50 years ago. We are, by and large, by almost any standard, much sicker than we were 50 years ago. While there are many theories around as to why this has come to be, I would bet that the majority of alternative health care professionals believe the cause is primarily due to a combination of poorer nutrition and increasing levels of toxicity in our environment.

Sure, taking steps to help you detoxify from the numerous toxins in our environment, avoiding toxins as much as possible in what you put in and on your body and getting all the nutrients your body needs, is always of major benefit, but sometimes even that doesn't do the trick.

As an energy medicine practitioner and not a bona fide licensed nutritionist or doctor, my focus in these articles is to look at our maladies from an energy medicine perspective.

It can all be very confusing to a beginning self-help enthusiast. It's even more confusing when you realize that symptoms don't tend to come individually. They usually come in groups giving the impression that you have a wide variety of dreaded diseases.

For instance, take the case of a malfunctioning ileocecal valve. This innocent looking valve, located between the small and large intestines, is sometimes called the great mimicker. Why? Because a malfunctioning ileocecal valve can mimick the symptoms of many so called diseases. From various kinds of pain, to flu symptoms, to tinnitus, to headache, to dizziness to nearly 30 different symptoms of seemingly distinct diseases, this one valve can make you feel pretty uncomfortable when it's acting up.

The test used in energy medicine to determine if there is some kind of energetic imbalance in the ileocecal valve is to simply lay the palm of the hand just inside the right hip bone and perform an energy test. A weak test indicates some kind of energetic problem exists.

The ileocecal test is a common one used by many energy medicine practitioners. I have often found a weak ileocecal valve test in my clients. There is even a correction for the weak test.

Ileocecal Valve Correction:

Place the finger tips of each hand just above the pubic bone and just inside the hip bones.
Then, with pressure, drag your fingers up to about the level of just above the navel on the in-breath.
Repeat two or three more times and after the last drag upwards, on the out-breath, press in with your thumbs at about the level of the navel or a little higher and,
Again with pressure, drag your thumbs down to about the level of the pubic bone.
Then shake off your hands.
The weak test is usually made strong by then.

When I first began practicing energy medicine, I always corrected every problem I found when I found it. I was very effective in helping people feel much better. I've now changed my approach however. It's been quite some time since I have used this correction in my practice. No, I'm not trying to keep my clients sick so they will keep coming back. The point I am trying to make here, is that the weak test is always corrected anyway by the end of the session. It seems that the malfunctioning ileocecal valve is not the result of a deficiency in upward finger movements on the abdomen followed by downward thumb movements.

We are now getting into the essence of energy medicine. As far as I'm concerned, the purpose of energy medicine is to coax the basic energy systems into the state of a finely tuned machine so we can then get out of the way and let the wisdom of our energy systems do its job. And the more basic the approach the better.

It can be compared to the failing foundation of a house. The symptoms of a failing foundation may include cracking in the walls. While it's true that you can make things look pretty nice with a little plaster and paint, it's also true that until you repair the foundation, the cracking will probably continue.

The key then becomes, what is the foundation of the energetic cracking of your walls? Finding the foundation of a house is no big trick. Just look down. Finding the foundation of your energetic wall crack can be quite a challenge. Our bodies and energy systems are cycles nested in cycles nested in cycles. And our nested cycles are nested in the nested cycles of Mother Earth and the rest of the Universe (or Universes if you're cut that way, but that's another story). It is often like hitting a moving target. One must be flexible and patient when working in this realm.

But don't despair. There is light at the end of the tunnel and, at least in this particular tunnel, it's not a train coming your way. There is a simple technique that can be used by anyone who can energy test, to help narrow the field and make your energy manipulations more focused on the foundation.

I could tell you what it is, but then I would have to kill you. Fortunately, the statute of limitations runs out next month and I can safely release this secret information without the need for sanctions. I'll see you then.

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Berit's Corner
Berit Lees

I wanted to write about a very special national holiday here in Mexico so I started to research it in the many books on Mexico I have. I came across a piece written by someone that describes the event far better than I could. I hope you enjoy it!

Can you imagine holding a party in a cemetery?

November 1 - 2: The Days of the Dead are celebrated in cemeteries nationwide.

November 1 is All Saint's Day (Todos los Santos), and on November 2, Dia de los Muertos (All Soul's Day, "Day of the Dead"), children romp around the tombs and leaning crucifixes, munching tiny sugar skulls as their parents sit near the grave of a departed loved one, eating sweet tamales, pan de los meurtos (bread of the dead) and recalling fond memories of the difuntos (deceased).

A few older kids set up a game on top of grandmother's crypt; with tiny dice and nuts for markers, they play Oca (Goose) and other traditional Dia de los Meurtos games.

The youngest child, just four years old, arranges miniature wooden and cardboard furniture, setting the tiny table with pea-sized pottery dishes. These are from the family altar, where yesterday, on November 1, the souls of little brothers and sisters who didn't survive their first years descended to play and to "eat" the treats set out for them.

A few graves away, an older brother sips from a small bottle of tequila, also from the altar. Earlier in the day, this same bottle cheered the souls of older family difuntos, along with special breads, tamales and turkey mole the dead must do without for the remainder of the year.

An uncle leans against a tombstone, engrossed in the newspaper. He suddenly barks out a laugh, calling the others to listen as he reads out a bawdy, satirical poem that rudely caricatures the local mayor. The articles are calaveras (skeletons) and anyone in the public eye might find their hidden skeletons leaping from the closet to the internet, or front page, on these days. Comic skeletal figures accompany the calaveras, portraying the politicos as having squandered municipal funds on the lottery.

The Days of the Dead originated in Europe in the 9th century and were introduced by Spaniards after the Conquest. This celebration blended quite nicely with already existing Aztec beliefs concerning death and departed spirits. The result is as Mexican as mole sauce.

About a week before the first of November, vendors set up stalls and begin selling sugar skulls, coffins, tombs, skeletons and whatever else they can fashion into grisly reminders of mortality. The skulls have names: if Uncle Pancho drove his truck off a cliff last year, you'll buy a Pancho skull for the family altar and perhaps a large sugar skeleton clutching a real bottle of his favourite tequila and a cigarette.

Kids exchange sugar skeletons with each others names on them and happily munch candy coffins. When their parents aren't looking, they'll snatch skull-shaped cookies and other treats from the family's ofrendas, offerings placed on an altar decorated with the photographs, mementos and favourite foods of deceased relatives.

Loaves of bread, representing departed souls, are also sold, as well as miniatures of almost anything one can think of to please those who have but one day a year in which to again enjoy the earthly plane. These offerings all go on the family altar. On the first of November the souls of the children descend to enjoy their treats; on the second day, it's the turn of the adults. Afterward the treats will be eaten by the family and guests.

When visiting a house during the Days of the Dead, guests bring small gifts for the altar; food, flowers (especially marigolds), candles, miniatures and, perhaps, liquor. None of these offerings is eaten until the souls have had their chance to partake.

Excerpt from:
The People's Guide to Mexico by Carl Franz

There is one aspect of the celebration that the author did not mention above, and I find it particularly endearing.

Many of the living relatives will bring an urn containing the ashes of a loved one (of the deceased) to the gathering. As everyone gathers around the grave they place the urn in a position of honour. Thus the two deceased persons can "communicate" with one another, and reminisce about the good times they shared. This way they are forever bound together.