Techniques to Help You Cope
By Dr. Alexander R. Lees
In last months article, I mentioned I'd introduce you to various coping techniques, techniques both Berit and I used (and still do!) to help us acclimate to a different culture. Please understand that the techniques you are about to learn aren't limited to this outcome, however. In these challenging times around the world, I imagine that many folks are feeling some concern. These techniques can be used whenever you find yourself in a situation, circumstance or event that evokes any unwanted emotional response or responses (i.e. fear, anxiety, depression, worry, guilt, etc.). So, let's see what we can do to alleviate some of those concerns. First of all, you may be asking yourself something like: "Why bother dealing with emotions? Why not just forget about them, or think about something else?" Well, if it was that easy, why not? Let's first take a quick look under the hood, and learn a little about what happens when the emotive brain takes over. Imagine an office building, and on the top floor resides the CEO's office. Communication lines from all over the building are routed here, and are designed to carry information to this office, but very few of those lines are devoted to allowing information to flow from it, so in effect most of the data will flow only one way. Normally, these lines are reasonably silent, with just the occasional message making its way to the main office. The name for this office within the brain is called the intellect, (or Prefrontal Cortex, if you prefer) and is the seat of logic, planning, and decision making. It can make these decisions based on past experience which it easily learns from. It can make mental maps from verbal or written instructions, and easily produce plan A, B or C whatever best suits the occasion, until the phones light up, that is. Once a signal arouses the emotive brain, which is more a doer than a thinker, it can and does literally flood the intellect with messages of, "The sky is falling! We are in danger! RUN! RUN! RUN!" Meanwhile, the body is flooded with stress released chemicals, the mouth can go dry, the heart speeds up, and we can feel as if we are in World War 3 as the mind screams, "I can't think!" The intellect, now completely overwhelmed, tries valiantly to send messages back, sounding something like: "Hey, calm down, relax, we can handle this," etc., etc. but, to little or no avail, because the system is now in overwhelm. Welcome to Technique #1: This technique goes under various names, and perhaps the most often heard names are EFT or Tapping. I must ask you to separate the accumulated hype from the technique itself, kind of like separating a tool, in your mind, from the toolmaker, if you will. Promises made by some that by learning this technique you will never need a counselor or therapist ever again, or it's a stand alone therapy training, is akin to suggesting that because you've learned to make spaghetti, you are now an accomplished chef. Or because you have learned to remove a spark plug from the lawnmower, you are now a mechanical engineer. So be diligent as to where and from whom you take more training, should you decide to do so, and, if all else fails, consider downloading a copy of the book EFT, what is it and how does it work? from my website, where you will also find a free download copy of where the points are located. "What points?" you may well ask. The tapping, with a finger, on specific acupuncture points whilst focused on a unwanted emotional response requires that you know where they are, and have committed them to memory for best use. That's right. Suppose you were once locked in an elevator for some time, and now can't go near the thing without experiencing a sense of panic, complete with a shortness of breath, sweating, and an overwhelming desire to avoid the situation at all costs. By learning the technique, you would have two choices: Head for the stairs, which is really fun if what you need to do is traverse ten or more floors, or you could apply the tapping. To do so, you would begin to focus on the fear, or using whatever name you want to call it, and begin tapping the specific acupuncture points, with a finger, about 7- 10 times on each point, whilst staying focused on the feeling. If you feel you are experiencing multiple emotive responses, then you would repeat the above on each one in sequence, focusing on each separate one as you do a round on each. The science behind all this is far too complex to add to this article, but, just to give you a small insight, as you tap the points, a small electrical discharge follows a pathway called a meridian, to the seat of fight or flight, the amygdala, which has already been stimulated by the original stimulus, and calms it down again. Remember, this article is about introducing you to several tried and tested, and therefore validated techniques to assist you with coping with unwanted emotional responses. These responses are interfering with your ability to think clearly and therefore to respond more competently, confidently and resourcefully in both the now and in the future. It is not about offering you a degree in the mind body-connection through reading one article, although, if it was, I'll bet the exam would be very, very short indeed. It would be like reading War and Peace in ten minutes, then saying, "It's about Russia!" Anyway, back to the technique. I used as an example, a fear of elevators, but what about the affects on your nervous system when your child screams for five minutes? How about how your child is reacting to bullying at school? Or, the impatience that is created by standing in line for too long? What about that bully of a boss? Then there are thunderstorms, fear of flying, sea sickness, noises in the night, scary dogs, self consciousness, guilt, anger over x, y or z, worries, annoyances, intolerance of, the loss of a loved one. So, as you can no doubt glean, the list is endless, and we haven't even mentioned your son's hatred of math, PE, or his going to bed on time. Or, the current state of the world, especially economically. So as you begin to think about all this, you can begin to realize just how much the wrong emotional responses can lead to wrong outcomes, or later wishes that you hadn't done it, or that you could have reacted to it differently. This is where the use of this technique shines, and I strongly recommend you consider finding a competent source you feel comfortable with and learn more about it. It only takes about a minute or less to apply, and the rewards are numerous -- less aggravation, a more relaxed and confident state of mind, and less wear and tear on your system, not to mention relationships, and that would be more pleasant for you and/or your family over all, would it not? Therefore, do yourself a very large favour, and promise yourself you will learn more about it. Remember, you can start by going to our website, and download the diagram showing where the points are, fee of charge. Again, a proviso. Just as most moms know how to apply a bandage on the various cuts and scrapes children seem to gravitate towards, or kiss it better like magic, they also allow common sense to prevail, and will whisk the child to a doctor when and if the need arises without hesitation. In a like and similar way, please also allow common sense to prevail and consider seeing a professional for the 'big' stuff, or recommending a friend see one if the situation warrants. Things like schizophrenia, hallucinations and the like are definitely where you would want to draw the line, and have a professional become involved. And yes, the tapping has worked wonders in terms of both reducing the amount of visits and increasing the success rate for people with these kind of serious problems, its true. But, please understand, this technique can serve as a great supplement to the other skills that are necessary to treat them. Meanwhile, learn to tap away that fear, anxiety, depression, worry, procrastination, guilt, anger, etc., and begin to enjoy the benefits of a more emotionally stress free life! Okay -- Technique #2: The previous technique is a marvel, and will serve you well in many a situation, but let's go a tad deeper into the mind, and consider the following. We can represent, within our heads any situation or event that occurred outside our head, out there in the world, within our heads, called memory. And it can and will respond to mentally produced stimuli just as easily as it does to whatever came in through our senses. Just as we can see with our eyes, hear with our ears, etc., so can the mind produce a facsimile of that event, situation or circumstance using an internal process referred to as seeing with the mind's eye, or listening to an internal representation of aspects of that event, etc. In other words, the mind runs movies, and/or talks to itself (internal dialogue) and processes this information as if it was coming in through your eyes or ears, with the same result; you again experience the unwanted feelings. Since almost one third of the brain is devoted to making movies, using a specialized group of neurons called the visual cortex, it would be useful to know of a technique that was designed to edit these internal movies as well, would it not? And this is especially true when these flashbacks cause exactly the same distress as the original event did. * This technique begins by you imagining you are sitting in a theater, your own private theater, and no one can enter unless you open the door, which is locked from the inside. * Now, as you sit down in the seat of choice (after all, it's your theater) you notice there are two switches on either the left or right armrest. As you flick the first switch, the lights dim to create the perfect ambiance that's just right for you, and as you flick the second switch, the curtains begin to open. Remember, this is done associated. That is, you are in your body, not watching yourself in the seat. * Up on the left hand portion of the screen is a black and white image of you. The picture was taken prior to the event you want to edit, so as you look at that picture of you, take a moment to realize that you on the screen doesn't know about the event, as it hasn't happened yet. * Now the black and white image of you turns into a movie, also black and white, or even gray, and you watch him or her go through the highlights of the event. Do this reasonably fast, you only want the highlights, and to keep the movie short. When you get to the end, that is a point where the event is over, and the memory would begin, freeze frame it, and the screen immediately goes white. Some people define the end point as a point where they knew they were going to be safe, others say to themselves, "Okay, once he left the room, I knew it was over," or "Once I heard the siren, I knew it would be alright." The idea is to pick an end point that reasonably represents the end of that event, and, once you do, that's where you freeze frame it, and the screen goes white. * Once the screen is white, you find yourself floating out of the chair, looking down on the rows of seats, and feel yourself floating towards the screen, as you watch each row come into view, pass beneath you, and then the next row, and so on until you are in the white screen. Everywhere you look is white, you can't see your hands in front of you -- actually, you can't see anything but the white. And now the white begins to disappear, and the details of the last scene form before your eyes. * Everything returns to natural colour and sound, but everything is still frozen. You are in your body that was the freeze frame, and you are the only thing that can move, and then you are suddenly flying backwards through the movie, through time. Everything happens in reverse, very, very quickly, all the way back to the beginning of the movie. As soon as you are at the beginning, pop out of the movie. One way to ensure you are out of the movie is to ask yourself a silly question, such as, "What do I think of the price of eggs in China, as opposed to the wear and tear on the hen's rectum?" * Now, whenever you wish, access the movie. Does it seem hard to do, or do parts of it seem scrambled, or have disappeared? If so, you're done! * Now, try to get the feelings that movie used to cause for you. Having used this technique to assist many a client, I can tell you that once in awhile, the technique needed to be run twice. I found by asking them about each step in the technique, the main reason it had to be done twice was because the person wasn't associated (in their body) at the appropriate time, or weren't dissociated (outside of their body, looking at themselves) at the right time. By going over the information presented here a few times, and practicing the technique, you will find you can delete any movie in your head that you want to, both quickly and easily. And now you are aware of two very powerful techniques that you yourself can apply to help yourself feel better. And just imagine, if you take the time to use them on stored, unpleasant memories, just how much better you will begin to feel overall now that stuff is no longer being processed by your nervous system. Next month, I'll introduce you to even more techniques to help you not only to cope better, but feel better into the bargain. And remember, these techniques do not replace the information both Susan and Tom are teaching you, but supplement them. And now you can begin to imagine who you will be, health wise, mentally, emotionally and physically -- as you begin to integrate all of it!
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True Story... Outside England's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant... The fees for cars ($1.40), for buses (about $7). Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn't show up; so the zoo management called the city council and asked it to send them another parking agent. The council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the zoo's own responsibility. The zoo advised the council that the attendant was a city employee. The city council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the city payroll. Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day -- for 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars ...... and no one even knows his name. ********************************************************************************
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Contributing Columnist Susan Stone is a licensed acupuncturist, certified in Eden Energy Medicine and Eden Energy Medicine for Women. In addition she is a Registered Bach Flower practitioner, an Acutonics practitioner, with a BS degree in Nutrition and Dietetics, and has been in private practice since 1977. Susan's other interests include a passion for dressage, mountain climbing, and life. Contact Susan at her clinic in the Boston, MA area. 
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