Reflections Newsletter
"People are not broken and in need of fixing... most people are just fine. They may simply need a tune-up."
Dr. Alexander R. Lees
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In This Issue:
Alex is on a roll writing about his case histories. This month he relates a session with a young woman who is terribly shy. In today's parlance it's called a social phobia. Being shy or afraid to be with others is no way to go through life, so I'm happy to report that Alex was able to help -- social phobia be gone!
I'm sure most of you will want to discover who you are while reading Susan's article. I know I did. As I wrote Susan after I had read it, "I like to think I have the best characteristics of ALL the elements and none of the not so good." :-) It was fun trying to figure out who am I?
Tom tells us where to find an excellent buy on magnets and how to use them to help ourselves deal with pain. I think we could all benefit greatly from a little readjustment of our electromagnetic energy fields. Tom's article is a good read.
I talk about the adventures of selling our house and my attitude adjustment supplied by Alex and a good friend. One doesn't need chocolate chip cookies... a few good sprays from a bottle can do the trick! Find out what I mean. :-)
Enjoy!
Berit Lees, Editor
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Social Phobia Be Gone!
By Dr. Alexander R. Lees
"Gail" seemed small for her age, sitting low on the couch. I double checked the intake form once more and yes, she was in fact 17 years of age. Gail's speech patterns, as well as her physical size and development suggested 13 or 14, tops. "I was always the baby in the class," she stated in a voice also seemingly too young for her age.
This was Gail's second appointment. We had spent the hour of the first appointment simply gathering information, and looking at my notes, realized I hadn't learned much about her at all, other than what I could visually observe. Having learned she had an interest in sailboats, I decided to switch tactics and suddenly asked, "If you were going to go on a sailing cruise, say for three months, and the captain asked you to go below and fetch 'the chart' (I paused for emphasis)... which one would you retrieve?"
After wiggling her feet for a moment or two, she then placed both hands between her knees, and said in a small voice, "Well, I guess it would depend on where we're going, wouldn't it?" Her "wouldn't it" sounded as if she was totally unsure of herself, or had somehow offended, and the uncertainty she must be feeling was apparent.
"Exactly!" I replied. Gail managed to look both pleased and surprised at the same time as I continued with, "By finding out where the destination is, you have set an outcome, and by setting an outcome, you would know which chart to get, rather than spending all morning clamoring up and down the companionway with one chart after another."
I smiled to emphasize she had the correct strategy, namely ascertaining the destination. "Now then," I continued, "In a like and similar way, when we set an outcome in counselling, that is we verbalize what it is we'd like some help with, it becomes much easier to begin to move towards it."
Gail was silent for a while, and alternated her gaze from me to the bookcase, then through the sliding glass door to the back yard, then the floor and then rested for a while on her hands, still clasped between her knees. I decided simply to breath, deep and slow, and wait her out.
After a while, Gail said in a voice almost too quiet to hear, "I'm small for my age. It's like I didn't or can't grow up. I'd like to - well - develop more, so people don't treat me like I'm younger than I am." "Go on," I prompted gently.
"Our doctor says I'm suffering (she emphasized the word suffering) from something called Social Dwarfism, and it's because there aren't enough growth hormones or something; anyway, he prescribed some shots. I've been getting them for six months or so but there isn't any change. I guess my mind wants to stay young, or something."
At this point, her mother, who had been sitting quietly in the other chair began to get up and approach her daughter on the couch. "Honey," mom said as she reached for her, "This is the farthest you've gone in talking about it with someone who is still 'new' to you. I'm really pleased for you. Now, would you like me to stay or leave?"
When Gail didn't reply, mom said, "You know, if you just focus on making friends, instead of spending so much time in the house, you would feel a lot better." At this, Gail suddenly looked like a deer caught in the headlights, but, as mother's body language indicated she was leaving, I waited it out. "So, I'll be in the other room if you need me, she said gently, "because I know it's easier for you to talk if I'm not in the room." With that, she left.
After a few moments I said, "Well, that was interesting. Is mom right? Do you spend a lot of time at home?"
Slowly, with many hesitations, Gail explained about her fears of meeting people, especially in groups and all the symptomology she goes through (dry mouth, tongue tied, heart thumping in her chest, sometimes an upset stomach, and so on).
When she wound down, I shifted in my chair, made sure my face looked relieved and said, "Oh, is that all... and here I was thinking there was a big (emphasized with hand movements) problem. Tell me, if we made the shyness go away, what would happen then?"
Gail looked dubious as she said, "Really?" "Well, before we do that, why don't you tell me things you do that makes you feel comfortable, things (I again paused for a second, so as to emphasize the next few words) you can do so easily." After she mentioned three or four (reading, etc.) I said the following.
"Okay. Now I'm going to ask you to say those things again, and I want you to notice, really notice... how you feel... when you are talking about them. While you are doing that, I'm going to touch your ankle with a finger, each and every time you say one of those things.. You... can do now... okay?"
"Aren't you going to tap me for it?" she asked. "I learned the tapping technique from mom. Because it didn't work for me, mom said maybe seeing you would help make it work." "Of course," I said. "But, as you've noticed, it doesn't work for everyone, for everything, all the time. Because of that, I like to set it up differently sometimes. It's kind of like a booster shot, just to get things going."
"Okay," she replied, what do I do first?" I reminded her of the previous part of our conversation, and as soon as she jumped in with, "Oh, yeah. I'm to think about things I'm okay with, and show you that, right?"
"Go to the head of the class and get yourself an A and a gold star." I smiled. Gail smiled in return and that was the first anchor. I touched her ankle briefly, and said in a very low and quiet voice "Aha!" (Auditory anchor.)
Gail spoke about three different things she was comfortable with, and as her facial expressions indicated she was comfortable, I anchored each with the same touch and a quiet and low, "Aha!"
Shifting once more in the chair, I said, "Now, think about meeting new people, or think about meeting a group or even being more open and friendly with kids in your class." I don't know which of these she picked, but I did see her start to show the same symptoms I'd seen as she described the problem.
Quickly, I reached over and touched her ankle as I said, "And take this resource state with you." Then I added a quiet, "Aha!"
I watched the shifting of her features go from a comfortable, resourceful state to just a touch of nervousness and back again, and let go of the anchor at that point.
"Now," I said, "I want you to recall the last time you were nervous getting involved with someone new, or just plain being nervous around others."
As she did this, I tapped a round using "this nervousness" as a reminder phrase. When we were done, she said, "But what if they reject me?"
The next round used the phrase, "this feeling of being rejected."
A few minutes of silence was followed with, "They may not like me," which became the next round.
After the sixth round (using memories) Gail's time was up, but she made it clear she wanted to come back soon. Her mom phoned two days later with, "I can't get over the change in Gail," she told Berit. "And she is busy tapping on all sorts of things (negative memories) but she can't wait to see your husband again, and get another booster shot. Do you know what she means?"
Berit of course has been around for quite a while, so she simply answered, "Oh, you know him - when one thing doesn't work he throws in whatever magic (some call it voodoo) he can dream up." Apparently they both then had a good laugh, once again at my expense. :-)
During the fourth session I observed Gail's attitude was now quite different. Towards the end of the session her mom popped in and happily told me about the changes she had noticed and suggested that Gail may want to wait a bit for another session. I wholeheartedly agreed. As they were leaving mom said, "Those booster shots you provided sure did the trick!"
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Only in Canada...
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Workshop News
EFT
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We are in
the process of relocating to a new area soon.
Once we're settled (hopefully in January 2011)
we'll send
out a notice advising everyone
about our new location and our workshop schedule.
As well, we will post the info on our website.
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 Contributing Columnist Susan Stone is a licensed acupuncturist, certified in Eden Energy Medicine and Eden Energy Medicine for Women. In addition she is a Registered Bach Flower practitioner, an Acutonics practitioner, with a BS degree in Nutrition and Dietetics, and has been in private practice since 1977. Susan's other interests include a passion for dressage, mountain climbing, and life. Contact Susan at her clinic in the Boston, MA area. www.stonehealthcenter.com
Who Are You?
By Susan Stone
"Who are you? Who are you?" I am reminded by the song by the group "Who". In the language of the Five Elements, each one of us falls primarily into the category of one of the Five Elements. What that means is that all aspects of our personality, the way we talk, the way we walk, even how we smell are all particular to our primary element. Knowing what element you are becomes very helpful in explaining, or understanding yourself more deeply. It helps you develop more balance in your live. Knowing your element you know your strengths and weaknesses.
So who are YOU?
I'm going to give a brief overview of each of the element's personalities and traits. We are predominantly one element throughout our life but know that we can move through the other elements and over the course of a lifetime. Each rhythm teaches us differently life's lessons.
We are currently in the time of Metal. Autumn is Metal time. A metal person is able to integrate a lot into their lives. They can juggle many balls at the same time. They are able to see the through the complexities of a problem to find a solution quickly, and find the clearest and quickest route. They are honest, have integrity, and set and live by the highest standards of excellence. This is of upmost importance to them. They love tasks that require systematic, logical and analytical problem solving. They can get deeply involved and focused in projects and don't need to take frequent breaks. They are the alchemist, able to transform situations easily. They like their space, solitude, but on the flip side need to have meaningful relationships. They have a difficult time not being in control and that becomes one of their life's lessons. It can be difficult for a Metal person to be spontaneous, to "let their hair down" and become socially involved and have fun. The negative emotions of Metal can be a sense of emptiness, overly critical of others, and becoming self-righteous. A Metal person walks with great grace, elegance and fluidity. Their voice is clear, concise and clipped. If they are out of balance it will be weeping, or groaning.
A Water person loves to feel the love. They love being the center of attention. They like to initiate projects; they are the starters. A Water person is a seeker of truth and will go deeply into any experience to find the deepest meaning of what life has to offer. They have great courage, but in a negative state they can have self-doubt and fears that take seed will unravel them. A Water person can wind-up being the lifelong "baby", the entitled one. Waters know how to support others, but it may take them awhile to trust someone. Again, fear is the emotion that disables them most. A water person walks like they are moving through water. The Water person is good at going with the flow.
A Wood person is very assertive and clear about where they stand. You know where you stand when you're with a Wood. They are bold, decisive, organized and are very good at structuring any situation. They are the leaders, and their vision can lead others. They like to grow ideas and are best when they've got projects to work on. They love to compete, but hate to lose. Woods are the warriors, the commanders and pioneers. Stress will manifest as muscle tightness and tension. Their negative emotion is anger, rage and frustration and their greatest fear is not being in control. The way they find balance is through absolute quiet and solitude. A Wood person walks like they know where they are going and there is no stopping them. Their voice can often be loud and if they are out of balance it will be more of a shouting voice.
A Fire person is recognized by their infectious personality. It's energizing to be around a fire person. They are so energetic, optimistic, laughing and giggling all the time. They are intensely passionate people but need a stable relationship with their close relations in order to help feel stable themselves. A Fire person loves everyone. Their Spirit, warmth and enthusiasm changes the energy of everyone they come in contact with. They inspire others to believe and see the good in everything and everyone. They have a difficult time saying "no" and will agree to more things then they can handle. Subsequently, they can fall into a negative state of overwhelm and panic. I good way of identifying a Fire person is to say they have "puppy energy". A Fire person has a lively, bouncy walk. A Fire person's voice is chipper and if they get overwhelmed they will become tongue-tied. They are a Full Yang personality.
The Earth person is the mother energy. An Earth personality will know how to nurture beyond normal capacity. They can nurture to the point of enabling. They are the worriers, and can suffer too much for others. They become the midwifes for others' transitions. A balanced Earth knows how to care for others while simultaneously caring for one's self. They are gifted with being able to see both sides to an opinion and can dance in all worlds. They are empathetic, compassionate and know how to make others feel safe and cared for. They can change direction without losing their own balance. An Earth person is sweet. Their voice is a sing-song voice and they sway when they walk and use a lot of body language when they talk.
I use this knowledge to help people understand how and why they get out of balance. We heal ourselves through our elements. Loving yourself and honoring what's in your own heart is a sure method to joy and happiness.
Love life and others!
Happy Fall!
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Cute... yes. But, how would you feel if you were a dog
and had to wear these outfits?!
 
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 Contributing Columnist Tom Dorzab is a retired biologist from Kansas and now lives with his wife in Spain. Tom followed his passion and is now an energy medicine practitioner specializing in Eden Energy Medicine. Contact Tom here
Pain Relief for $2.99!By Tom Dorzab As we discussed last month, we are decidedly electromagnetic beings. As such, we are affected by and have an effect on, the electromagnetic field around us. The electromagnetic field in which we are constantly swimming can have a profound effect on our energy system and thus our health. It's important to note that the effect can be positive or negative. Since so many of our bodily systems depend on our electrical system in order for them to function properly, it behooves us to learn how to work with our environment to enhance rather than degrade our energy systems. This is a huge and expanding field. I suspect the future holds great promise in the field of using specific electromagnetic frequencies in life enhancing ways. I hope the future also allows for greater awareness as to the potential negative effects of electromagnetic radiation and in enforcement policies to promote their more healthful use.In order to narrow the field somewhat, our focus today will be on the use of magnets for pain relief. In order to get benefits from the use of magnets for pain relief, we'll need to spend thousands of dollars in a medical equipment store, right? Wrong! Remember that I like simple. Another thing to remember about me is that I also like cheap.Following the cheap and simple path will lead you to one of our hometown favorites, Radio Shack. The magnet I prefer to use is a small ceramic doughnut shaped magnet sold by Radio Shack. I just checked on the web and found them. They were five for $2.99. That certainly fits the cheap category. Magnet Ground RulesBefore going any farther, we first need to establish some magnet ground rules. I would strongly recommend that, before using magnets, you need to get practiced up on your energy testing. See my May 2008 article if you need a primer or a reminder. Although our little magnets may look cute and cuddly, for some people they can carry a pretty big bite. Before using a magnet on someone, you should always energy test to make sure you won't be causing more harm than good. To test a magnet for suitability of use on a person, first tie a string to the magnet so that you can spin the magnet back and forth by twisting the string between your thumb and index finger. Next ensure that the Spleen Meridian Energy test is a suitable test. Then, when you're ready, hold the spinning magnet about twelve inches out from the solar plexus of the person you're testing and then test using the Spleen test. If the test is strong, then your testee is not magnet sensitive, if weak, don't use the magnet on that person until his energy system is strengthened.When Not to Use a MagentIn addition to the above test, there are other cautions to keep in mind when using a magnet. Don't use a magnet if:- The person is implanted with a medical devise such as a pacemaker.
- The person is a diabetic.
- You're working with a pregnant woman.
- If you're working over an open wound.
There are differences in the actions of the north and south sides of a magnet. The south side stimulates growth and circulation so it should never be used over a tumor, an infection or a swelling. Its use should also be avoided over the spine.North or South?So how does one know which is the north and which is the south side of a magnet? There are two simple ways. The first is to use a compass. The side that is attracted to the point of the compass (the point that points north) is considered the north side. The other way is to place one side of the magnet above the left ear and energy test. If the north side is against the head, the energy test will be weak and the test will be strong if the south side is against the head.How can magnets be used for pain relief?Now that everyone has done all of the required pre-tests, we can begin working on more important stuff, namely, pain relief. So how can magnets be used for pain relief? You may remember that pain is usually caused by congested energy. To help break up congested energy and help relieve pain, the north side of a magnet is usually placed on the painful area. If the painful area is also an open wound, do not place the magnet on the wound, but instead place it below the area or closer to the feet or hands. Spinning the magnet by a string over a painful area can also help break up congested energy. For arthritis, flipping the magnet over from side to side for five to ten minutes over the painful area can often give relief.It's very difficult to give definitive rights and wrongs when working with magnets. Everyone is different and everyone can have differing needs in correcting similar seeming problems. If pain increases when using a magnet, flip it over for a while and see what happens. Generally the north side should not be used more than 12 hours over a painful area and the south side should only be used only up to 30 minutes. Now you're armed with a few more pain relief techniques. Pretty soon you won't need me at all. It's a very nice and very doable idea. Actually I'm looking forward to that day. Wouldn't it be nice if we were all pain free? The best thing would be if, after you take care of your pain, you could develop some pain relief techniques of your own and then teach them to me. There's room for everyone on this journey, you might as well get started now.**************************************************************************************************  Sorry, I couldn't resist just one more... he's so cute!***************************************************************************************************
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Berit's Corner
We've been focussed on selling our house, almost to the point of not having a life. It's difficult to live as we would normally when we must keep our house in pristine condition, especially when we have a dog. After only two weeks of the house being on the market we got an offer and it was an excellent offer. Then two weeks later, it collapsed due to financing issues. What a disappointment!
There were two options - cry, or just get on with it. I did both. We now have the "get house ready and perfect to show" time period down to one hour. In that time we run around like banshees making everything perfect. So far, no new offers. The reason - apparently people are paying attention to all the bad news out there, and are being very cautious.
OK, I thought, let's check out what the bad news is all about. I read the paper diligently, watched the news and talk shows on TV, and listened to the radio. All I can say is, "OMG!" There's a lot of horrible stuff happening out there. No wonder people are being cautious.
Now, I was not only down about my house not selling, I was also upset about the whole world and what's going on! It was time to change course and re-think how and what I should be paying attention to. Time for action.
I spoke to Alex about how I was feeling - sometimes it's great to be married to a therapist. :-) He gave me some tips about how to adapt my thinking (and attitude) into a more useful mode. After some tapping, visualization, a bit of law of attraction, reframing and a few other tidbits, I emerged feeling refreshed, energized and ready to tackle what I could tackle, and leave what I couldn't to others more qualified than me.
For example: There's no way I can fix what's happening around the world. I'd like to, but I'm not qualified. :-)
Secondly, I do whatever I can to help our house sell. That's all I can do. Or, so I thought. A good friend (Anna in Houston) wrote me, after I had sent her yet another email whining about having to get the house ready for another showing. She said, "It's simple. Stop worrying about cleaning and tidying the house. Instead, bake chocolate chip cookies."
I laughed out loud when I read her suggestion. Unfortunately I'm not a "bake cookies" kind of person. I replied to her...
You want me to bake cookies from scratch? It's never going to happen. I wouldn't know how, or where to begin. I'm not the 'baking cookies' kind of person. I know it's a good suggestion because I had the thought a while ago about having bread baking in the oven when people came for a showing. Of course, I would need to buy the bread to bake. After going to every grocery store in our area there wasn't a loaf of frozen bread to be found. It seems there's no longer a demand for it.
As I was searching for the bread, I also noted there were frozen brownies. I decided they would do. I guess I didn't follow the directions correctly because my brownies were only about 1/4 inch thick and I needed a chisel to get them out of the pan. Plus, they didn't smell that good - burnt chocolate is not an enticing odor.
With a few minutes remaining before we had to leave for the showing, in desperation I grabbed a bottle of Febreeze (an air freshener) and sprayed the whole house. It smelled good and I was pleased with my resourcefulness. Who needs baking?! :-)
Now, I must close because I only have a few moments to spray the house, throw Ty in the car, and get out of here. We have another showing!
 For those of you that celebrate Halloween - I hope you get lots of good treats.
To our American friends I hope the elections on Nov. 2nd bring about the results you desire. Being an observer in another country, all I can say is - Beware of witches. :-)
And lastly, if any of you have a spare moment, please put out the thought that our house will sell. I firmly believe in the collective power of good, positive energy!
Till next month,
Take care.
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Volume 17, No. 11
November 2010
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