Reflections Newsletter
"People are not broken and in need of fixing... most people are just fine. They may simply need a tune-up."
Dr. Alexander R. Lees
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In This Issue:
I don't know if I should apologize or
not? This edition of Reflections
is a little longer than normal because everyone has some valuable and
interesting information, and/or techniques, to share with you. Real
"hands-on" stuff and there's photos and links to show you how to do
them. So, please get ready to help yourself in a variety of interesting
ways.
Alex provides some useful
tips to help all of us deal with a non-stop talker. This is especially
useful when it's a client! David teaches us the Alphabet Edit which is
particularly helpful when dealing with something, or someone, that bugs
you. Susan introduces us to the "Five Elements" and explains the
correlation between our emotional state and how it relates to our
physical well-being. Tom shares two real life experiences he had with
Eden Energy Medicine and wants to get all of us excited about learning
some of the techniques. And, I don't have any information about a
technique at all. But, I do relate a story about our doggie Ty that I'm
hoping will bring a smile to your face and maybe make you feel all warm
and fuzzy. :-)
Enjoy!
Berit Lees, Editor
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The Fine Art of Persuasion
By Dr. Alexander R. Lees
As you no doubt have heard or read, whenever the term persuasion is brought up in a conversation, many people hear a negative; that is for some, the word persuasion could be replaced by the word manipulation.
Now, before we go any further, yes, it is true for many people that the word manipulation has also come to stand for a negative. Take a moment one day to look up the meaning of manipulation. The dictionary definition just might surprise you.
Back to persuasion. By using the word in this article, my intention is for it to be taken as: How to help a client, relative, friend, or co-worker who has come to you for help or assistance in some matter to feel better about some event, circumstance or situation they find themselves in.
For simplicity, I will use a client session to illustrate some of the principals involved in persuasion. And, just to find tune the example a bit more, let us suppose the client is a nonstop talker. Picking this one as an example was easy, as during many of my seminars on EFT training and the like, the query comes up over and over again - "What can I do to intervene when the client is a nonstop talker?"
Here's the scene. The client has taken a seat in your office, the small talk is out of the way, and the client is now beginning to explain their respective issues, that is the reason for the appointment.
Perhaps 20 minutes has passed, perhaps less, perhaps more. Either way, I'm asking you to begin to focus on the fact the person has "held onto the microphone" for some lengthy period of time, and there has been a nonstop output of information coming your way.
At the same time, any attempt on your part to convert it into a conversation is met with a rebuttal in some form.
The first thing to realize is that most of what you are hearing are various emotions expressing themselves. It is also useful to assume that beneath this is perhaps a belief system that the more information they give you, the easier it will be for you to offer help.
Your best intervention when the moment arrives (assuming of course you have taken the time to establish rapport prior) is to suddenly change your body position, and, as you do, make sure your facial expression changes as well. Immediately upon doing this, in sequence, you then want to display a universally understood gesture that you mean to interrupt. Holding one finger up in front of you, about chest height usually works. As soon as your finger is in motion, you now need a verbal intervention to accompany the movement.
You can say almost anything you wish, of course, but there are some well tested interventions out there already, so why not start with one of them? Remember, many a human may have sacrificed greatly to find out what works, and what doesn't, before you. Therefore using the results of that testing could save you unnecessary hardship. :-)
Start with an overview. For example:
"Sir," or, "I can't help thinking that you have quite a bit going on for you," (bring your hands up in front of you, close together, palms facing each other as you say this).
"And I'm sure you realize (begin to swing the hands apart, as if emphasizing something large, or a great distance) that to deal with all of it would take a fair amount of time. However (lighter facial expression) there are certain ways to speed things up, thus saving you time and money into the bargain." (as you say the preceding, bring your hands closer together, emphasizing something small, or less). "Would that interest you?"
Assuming the person says "Yes," or some other form of agreement, explain that the fastest and most expedient use of time is to change the format, that is you (the practitioner) would like to ask certain questions, (use a specific hand jesture as you say the word questions) and you would like them to answer in short sentences, so that you can ask further questions.
Now you need to close the loop, as it's called, and you do so by tying your request back to the frame you created.
For example:
After you have asked, "Would that interest you?" immediately state: "By doing it this way, we can accomplish so much more in the time allotted for this appointment." (The exact words used in the examples are just that - examples.)
The idea is to pattern interrupt (the excessive verbalizing.) and reframe the reason you interrupted . They may think you rude; so the reframe is designed to let them know there's a more efficient way to have a conversation, especially a therapeutic one.
Now, remember the hand gesture, the hand gesture you used as you said the word "questions"? This becomes an anchor, that is, with a little practice, the hand gesture becomes associated with you asking a question. Thereafter, only use that specific hand gesture when you are interrupting to ask a question.
Now, suppose after you interrupted, the client decides they won't comply, and lets you know in some way that they expect to speak as long as they want.
Then your best bet is to change your state; and realize you might as well relax a bit, as the individual has let you know they want to talk, and they want you to listen.
If you think little change is going to occur for them in terms of their problem(s), you're right. However, at least by complying with their need, you just may find they like you better than anyone else they've worked with, if for no other reason than you really listen.
Welcome to an introductory example of learning about the art of persuasion. And please remember, the information is offered to enhance your effectiveness in the art of applying EFT, or any other modality you may be using, for that matter. Have fun!
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Wonderful photo...
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 Contributing
Columnist Dave Marshall is retired and lives in Spain. Before his
retirement he was in the corporate world in the UK, and also taught NLP
(he's an NLP Master Trainer). Visit his website at www.nlpman.eu which
has a ton of free information on NLP. Dave's blog http://www.bukisa.com/rss/people/nlpman or on twitter: mynlp
Alphabet Edit
By Dave Marshall
Have you ever had one of those days when something starts to bug you? Or maybe there is something that really annoys you and, when you're really annoyed, you don't seem to be able to do anything about it? Or, it could even be that you've got a phobia about something and you want to get rid of it.
Well, all of those things and many others can often be solved by doing a thing called Alphabet Edit. I have used this many times with many different clients. One of them was a was a man who had to give presentations about a really boring subject to potential clients. He did not like doing this and he couldn't see any way of making the presentations more interesting. He came to see me with this problem and said he didn't think there was anything that could be done about it. However, someone had told him I did this weird stuff called NLP, and he'd give it a go.
First of all I asked him to make a mental picture that symbolized in some way the problem he wanted to get rid of. He thought for a minute and said that a firework that sparkled would sum it up. I asked him a few questions about this image and he said it was about one metre in front of him, framed, slightly out of focus and had rather dull colours. We ran the process of Alphabet Edit and about five minutes later I asked him, "What happened to the image?" In a split second he said, "Well it's now behind me, it's brightly colored and it's flashing and sparkling just like a firework that's been set alight." I thought, "Another triumph for the Alphabet Edit." He called me the following week and said, "I've just given three of the most amazing presentations ever. They were incredibly well received, and it was beyond my wildest expectations!"
On another occasion I was running a class for the UK's Open University and a group of students were going absieling one afternoon. Unbeknown to me, they were also going to test out the use of Alphabet Edit because they all had varying degrees of trepidation about jumping off a railway bridge!! When they got back they all said it worked; the fears went away, and they had a great afternoon.
Although it's not usually the first choice for fixing phobias, one student in a class I ran decided to use the Alphabet Edit to solve her problem with spiders. It worked. Another time, we were halfway through the exercise and one student, I noticed, sat down and started to cry. Oh dear, I thought, what now and walked over to her and said, "Are you OK ?" To my amazement she smiled and said "I have never felt so happy!" And to this day I don't know what she did, or what it was about, but it certainly changed her thinking
Well enough of the war stories. I expect you all now want to know how to do it. You may have seen this before in a different manner, but this is the way I do it.
The Alphabet Edit is a physical pattern of movements that synchronizes left and right hemispheres of the brain through cross lateral movements, while overloading the processing capabilities of the conscious mind. You're probably aware of your ability to process seven plus or minus two items of information at the same time. The theory behind the Alphabet Edit is that it consumes all of your conscious processing facilities while linking the left and right brain hemispheres, thus enabling your unconscious mind to get on with solving the issue.
You will need to make a copy of the "Alphabet Chart" (click this link) and download a copy to your PC. Just click the download button and then select "save file" from the download box. It is a spread sheet (XLS file) that has been created by an IT Teacher. You will need Open Office a totally free download or, for those who want to support Mr Gates' lifestyle :-) you can purchase MS Office, if you don't already have it.
Another possibility - you can just make your own. On a sheet of A4 (legal size) paper draw a grid that has four columns across and six rows down. In each box write a letter of the alphabet from A onwards in alphabetical order. Then in each box, underneath the letter of the alphabet write an L, R or T. Select these small letters randomly.
Whatever you're seeking to achieve, whether it is stress relief, the solution to a problem, a particular outcome, or a clarification of confused thoughts, first you need to make an internal representation of the issue; possibly a mental picture, a feeling or a sound which symbolizes it for you.
Now run the Alphabet Edit, preferably with a friend or colleague as a coach. You should speak aloud the large letters on the chart, at the same time perform the following actions:
- When the letter under the large letter is an R lift your Right arm.
- When the letter under the large letter is an L lift your Left arm.
- When the letter under the large letter is a T raise Both arms Together.
- Remember to say out loud the letters of the alphabet whilst making the corresponding movements.
- Proceed through the alphabet in this fashion. If you make a mistake return to the beginning of the chart.
- When you reach the last square X, go backwards through the alphabet to A. That completes phase one.
Phase two is more of a challenge. This time when you raise the right arm you will also raise the left leg, at the same time and when you raise the left arm you also raise the right leg. When you raise both arms together then you stand on tiptoe and again you go through the alphabet from A to X and back again.
If you find these variations too easy, you can progress to more complicated options. For example: Instead of going across the chart, go up and down or diagonally. Remember the whole point is that it should be hard for you to do.. You can go through this process as many times as it takes to produce a shift to in the image that symbolized the issue, or the feeling has become more comfortable.
If you have downloaded the XLS spreadsheet package you can generate random letters -- just press F9, and so totally change the left/right movements. You can also carry out the process from your computer screen or print out a sheet to stick on the wall. Have fun!
To watch a video presentation on YouTube, click here.
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Workshop News
- EFT Fundamentals April 10th -- There are only two spaces left. Those of you interested in learning EFT may want to consider attending this workshop because the next Fundamentals workshop will be in September...and you may not want to wait that long! :-)
- EFT Intermediate May 1 & 2 -- Workshop is full. The next Intermediate workshop will be in the Fall.
- EFT Advanced Jun 5 & 6 -- Workshop rescheduled to the Fall.
Fall Workshop Schedule will be announced in August.New on our Website:
 How to Help Your Immune Systemby Dr. Alexander R. Lees
The audio portion (approx. 58
mins.) is presented in simple, everyday terms and is about how the
immune system functions, what affects it performance, and what you can
do to support it. Learning how will enhance your immune system's ability
to support you!
Also included is an 11 page report
highlighting portions of the audio presentation and samples of
"tapping" sequences to use to improve your immune system, and keep it
strong and resilient.
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 Contributing Columnist Susan Stone is a licensed acupuncturist, certified in Eden Energy Medicine and Eden Energy Medicine for Women. In addition she is a Registered Bach Flower practitioner, an Acutonics practitioner, with a BS degree in Nutrition and Dietetics, and has been in private practice since 1977. Susan's other interests include a passion for dressage, mountain climbing, and life. Contact Susan at her clinic in the Boston, MA area - www.stonehealthcenter.com
Your Emotions & The Five Elements
By Susan Stone
The world of Oriental Medicine is an amazing! One of our ways of perceiving our body, mind and spirit is through what are called "The Five Elements". The observation of nature provides us with the understanding of how our body works and how our ailments can be diagnosed. Nature is mirrored in our body. Because we have such active minds we can forget that we are a part of the rhythm and cycles of nature and there is no separation. And actually our disassociation from nature can be a contributing factor to the manifestation of physical imbalances. The Five Elements explains the correlation between our emotional state and how it relates to our physical well-being. The following article will help you begin to understand how this beautiful system demonstrates nature's magnificent brilliance.
The Five Elements are Water, Wood, Fire, Earth and Metal. The Five Elements are interdependently related and rely on each other for their existence in nature, and this is equally mirrored in our body. We depend upon the coordinated functions of these Elements in our body in order to survive. Each of our organs is associated with one of the elements. Each of the elements has an associated season, emotion, sound, color, odor, time of day, planet, metal, body type, just to name a few. Our emotions have a direct impact upon the dysfunctions in our body, and their associated elements. Spring is associated with the Wood element and next month I'll be writing in detail about the Wood Element!
 There is a specific Flow or Creation Cycle with the elements and this flow or creation cycle in nature is identical in our body. This is also called the Mother - Child Relationship. The cycle is as follows: Water is the Mother of its Child - Wood; Water creates Wood. Wood is the Mother of its Child, which is Fire. In other words, Wood creates Fire. Fire is the Mother of its Child - Earth. Fire creates Earth. Earth is the Mother of its Child - Metal, Earth creates Metal. Metal is the Mother of its Child - Water. Metal creates Water. And so the cycle continues again and again.
Within the Five Elements reside all of the Organs/Meridians. Each of the Organs or Meridians is related to one of the elements. This is very easy to understand and it gives us an insight into the function and attributes of the Organs and Meridians and the relationship between our Organs and Meridians. Each Element has at least one Yin Meridian/Organ and one Yang Meridian/Organ. The Yin and Yang pairs help to maintain balance within each Element. The Organs and Meridians are as follows:
YIN YANG EMOTION
WATER Kidney Bladder Fear
WOOD Liver Gallbladder Anger/Frustration
FIRE Heart Small Intestine Inappropriate Joy
FIRE Pericardium Triple Warmer Or Enthusiasm
EARTH Spleen Stomach Worry, Over-thinking
METAL Lung Large Intestine Grief
There is also another cycle within the Five Elements. This is called the Control Cycle. The Control Cycle is as follows: Water controls Fire (water can put out a fire), Fire controls Metal (fire can forge steel), Metal controls Wood (a metal ax can chop wood), Wood controls Earth (trees can be planted to prevent to erosion of the Earth) and Earth controls Water (a dam can be built to control water). Too much control can be seen as one element/organ or meridian overacting on another. Water is the beginning element of the control cycle and fear can be seen as the most powerful annihilator of positive energy. Fear can overwhelm the whole body and is the antithesis of love.
How this information is used in clinical practice is very insightful and is a dynamic way to bring a person into harmony. If a person is emotionally distraught or stressed there is usually a 5 Element Imbalance. You can energy test for the imbalance and then depending upon what is weak you can easily make corrections. If you feel emotionally stressed, through personal observation and identification of the emotion you can neutralize the emotion and bring balance to your body by holding the corresponding elemental neurovascular points on your head. This is a simple yet powerful technique that is fabulous to have in your personal power tool kit! The locations of the 5 Element Neurovascular Points are:
WATER: Just above the occiput (the occiput is at the base of your skull above the nape of your neck).skull
FIRE: On the back of your head just behind the eyes.
METAL: On the top of your head (a baby's "soft spot" or, the same spot you tap when doing the tapping).
WOOD; Your temple area (holding both sides at the same time).
EARTH: Just below your eyes on your cheekbones (holding both sides at the same time).
TECHNIQUE:
Hold
the elemental neurovascular area with a soft whole hand, while
simultaneously
holding the frontal stress points just over your eyes on your forehead.
Sometimes one hand is in front on the forehead while the other on the
back of your head (cup the back of your head with your hand), or the
heel of your hand is on one area while the fingertips are on the other.
Holding the Elemental Neurovascular points while thinking about the troubling emotion will help neutralize the emotion while simultaneously preventing the emotion from downloading into your nervous system and causing any further damage. The Neurovascular points on the head are easy to use and make a significant difference in how you feel when used regularly.
Enjoy Spring and I look forward to sharing with you the power of Wood Energy next month!
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The Importance of Walking
- Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
- If you are going to try cross-country skiing, Start with a small country.
- We all get heavier as we get older and that's because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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 Contributing Columnist Tom
Dorzab is a retired biologist from Kansas and now lives with his wife
in Spain. Tom followed his passion and is now an energy medicine
practitioner specializing in Eden Energy Medicine. Contact Tom here
You Can Make a Difference with Eden Energy MedicineBy Tom DorzabSometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming! My life is that good! I love what I'm doing now and I love the look of my future! With the exception of a few years in my early 20's, that's not a statement I would have even considered making at any other point in my life. So what has made the difference in my life? In a nutshell, Eden Energy Medicine (EEM) has made all the difference. Of course, it doesn't hurt to have an amazingly loving and supportive wife backing my every move. Without her help and support, I wouldn't be in the favourable position I am today.So what is it about EEM that has prompted me to make such a sweeping statement? I think the best way to describe my feelings about EEM is to relate a real-life story that happened just a few weeks ago. We were visiting my wife's aunt in the hospital. While we were there, the lady occupying the bed next to her began complaining that she was beginning to itch all over while she was holding her throat and coughing. She was in obvious distress. She complained to the nurse and the nurse left the room. She didn't return.While I'm certainly not a doctor or a nurse, I have worked with allergies and other sensitivities a lot and I recognized the classic symptoms of an allergic reaction. I told her I was trained in some ancient healing arts and asked if she wanted me to try to help her. Without hesitation she said yes and I immediately began working on the energy system that is typically involved in allergic responses.While there have only been two times that I have been present during what looked to me like severe allergic reactions, I was given permission in both cases to attempt to provide relief. I am very happy to say that in both cases, EEM is batting 1000. In this latest case, within 5 minutes, relief was evident. Within 10 minutes she was smiling broadly. What a dramatic change! Are you beginning to understand now why I feel so grateful for the life I have? What could possibly make a person feel better or more empowered than to be able to render emergency help on this order of magnitude? In another more personal example, while visiting the United States recently, I was watching a movie from the local video store. A scene developed in which one of the good guys was about to have something bad happen to him. I felt myself being flooded with adrenalin as if it were me in the same situation. I was in a full fledged fight or flight response and hadn't even left the couch. I was no more in danger than the Man-in-the-Moon, but little did it matter. My body was responding just as if I were in mortal danger. That was a feeling that I had become very familiar with before my introduction to EEM, but more recently had not experienced for quite a while. Thank you EEM! I much prefer to keep the stress response in my back pocket for when I really need it. What a relief it was to perform a simple technique and within 5 minutes to feels the panicked feeling fade magically away. It was nice to have my immune system, my digestive system, my reproductive system my ability to think and all the other systems that are adversely affected during the stress response, returned to normal. It is inconceivable to think of living any other way these days. It saddens me to think of the billions of people in the world today who live in an almost perpetual state of stress and of the years they are trimming off their lives because of it. Not only are they shortening their lives considerably, the quality of their lives is dragged down due to all the chronic diseases they will no doubt be subject to as a result of the uncontrolled stress. And even more sadly, probably in almost all cases, they could learn a few simple techniques that they could use on themselves to help reduce both the stress and the likelihood of chronic diseases.So what was this magic bullet I used in both of the above cases? It's something I have already talked about a lot in this newsletter. It has to do with the meridian that, among other things, regulates the stress response, the Triple Warmer Meridian. In both of the above cases, I took the time to sedate the Triple Warmer Meridian. With the lady in the hospital, I also strengthened the Spleen Meridian. How could anything be more simple? For a much more detailed description of the Triple Warmer Meridian, you can review my articles in the February 2008 and March 2008 issues of this newsletter. Some simple ways of regulating the Triple Warmer Meridian are described in the March 2008 article.This is just the tip of the iceberg of the ways you can help yourself and others. The information is readily available, it's easy to learn, it's usually very effective and once you have learned it, it's absolutely free, forever. If you get it from this newsletter, it's absolutely free all around. Do you really want to lower medical costs? Do you want to play a major role in real healthcare reform? Energy Medicine and good food will give you a huge head start.Why wait? Begin empowering yourself today! You are not at the mercy of the world around you! You CAN make a huge difference in your health! **********************************************************************************************You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up...
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Berit's Corner
I'm very loyal. Certain companies probably think I'm the ideal customer because if I find a product or brand I like, that's what I buy, and see no reason to change. I've used the same brand of toothpaste my whole life! It's the same with the people we associate with - you know the ones that keep our lives running smoothly - family doctor, dentist, vet, hairdresser, etc. My hairdresser John has taken excellent care of my hair for 25 years. He's threatening to retire and when he does I know it will be very upsetting for me because finding the perfect hairdresser can be a daunting task (you women know what I'm talking about, don't you?!).
When my previous favourite hairdresser (I saw her for 15 years) announced her retirement I ended up trying about nine different people before I found John, and it was a miserable time because I ended up with some very strange hair colours and cuts along the way. When I come across photos from that time I wonder, "Who is that woman with the scary hair?"
At this point, some of you may be thinking I should get a life, after all, what's the big deal? For me it is a big deal - when I find someone I like and trust - that's it, there's no need for change. But, just so you don't think I'm totally against change, which I'm not, I like to re-arrange my furniture frequently and always like to go to new places on vacation.
 So, we had a dog groomer. Ty is the first doggie we've had that required grooming - he has at least a double coat of hair, being half Chow and half Lab. And when his hair gets long, any twig, stick or tree branch within a mile radius sticks to various parts of his body. Alex calls these "dangley bits" and I call them "decorations" or "accessories." No matter what they're called, they are very bothersome because the hair winds around the offending piece and we can't pull it out. The poor little guy then ends up with thick, matted clumps of hair full of prickly bits.
So as I said, we had a groomer. She phoned and cancelled last Saturday's appointment because she was closing down her business. The call came on Thursday, so I was a titch upset 'cause Ty badly needed a haircut. He had grown his usual winter fur and looked about 20 lbs. overweight.
OK, time to find a new groomer. Remembering my own experiences with new hairdressers I didn't know where to start? Ah, I'll call our vet. He provided three names. The first one I called sounded good and even mentioned the Dog Whisperer (Cesar Milan) and talked about "energy." Anyone that has seen his show knows what I mean and how important that is. And, we're in luck - she has an opening on Saturday due to a cancellation.
Off we go on Saturday morning. Come back an hour and a half later and we wonder where Ty is? The groomer points to a doggie cage and out he comes... with NO hair! It seems the previous groomer hadn't been doing a very good job and his coat was completely matted on his underbelly especially, so she thought the best thing to do was cut all his hair short this time and then it would be easier to maintain in the future.
We didn't recognize him! And, obviously he didn't feel right being totally hairless. He had this panicked look in his eyes which said, "What have you done to me?!" We tried our best to explain but our doggie talk is limited to such things as, "Good boy. Sit. Stay. Come." So, we did the next best thing when we got him home - we gave him treats. It didn't help much.
All the rest of Saturday and all day Sunday he lay on his cushion by the fireplace and stared at us with the biggest, brown, sad eyes. I may not speak dog but those eyes said it all, "Betrayal!" And, "I'm freezing - don't you guys know that my fur keeps me warm!" Alex and I felt like really bad parents.
As with all things, there was a change by Monday, the reproachful look gave way to a more normal one. When we took him for a walk, he almost forgave us. He's a smart little guy though - he knew if he looked forlorn a little longer, good old Mom and Dad would give him more treats - which we did.
 Now, all we have to do is wait for his to grow back. But, the next hair cut we'll make sure she leaves at least an inch of hair because too may treats isn't good, no matter how gut wrenching Mom and Dad feel. I really couldn't take any more of those big, sad, brown eyes looking at us as if we were the meanest people on the planet!
I hope you all have a glorious Spring and all your haircuts are great!
Till next month,
Take care.
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Volume 17, No. 04
April 2010
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Upcoming Workshops
*** NLP 101***
New workshops in the Fall. Dates to be announced in August
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- Fundamentals
April 10, 2010
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May 1 & 2, 2010
WORKSHOP FULL
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June 5 & 6, 2010
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