Reflections Newsletter
"People are not broken and in need of fixing... most people are just fine. They may simply need a tune-up."
Dr. Alexander R. Lees
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 In This Issue:
Are you looking forward to Aunt Bertha doing a face plant in the punch bowl again this holiday season? If not, Alex has a few suggestions to help you deal with her and other holiday stressors. I put on my Unsolicited Advice Hat and just to be contrary, recommend the opposite of what most people suggest we do during the holidays. As well, there's holiday cartoons and funnies to make you smile. and have a laugh. Laughing increases serotonin which is the feel-good neurotransmitter. This also helps to boost your immune system which we can all benefit from at this time of year.
We've given the "guy" writers a little holiday from writing... they deserve it because they've done such a great job throughout the year, with a wide variety of interesting and fun articles. But, no worries, they will be back in 2010, renewed and refreshed, and continue to entertain and inform us.
In our January edition (to be emailed at the end of December) we will introduce you to our new female contributing columnist. We're all in for a treat because she's an excellent writer and has a wealth of knowledge about a number of different healing modalities. I'm not going to say anymore at this time because I want to introduce her properly next month. It will be something to look forward to.
Enjoy!
Berit Lees, Editor
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Having a Jolly Christmas
By Dr. Alexander R. Lees
It's that time of year again, the festive season, I mean. It can be so interesting how some issues presented in my private practice are seasonally related. Christmas is a time for positive reflection, for enjoying being with loved ones, and giving thanks for all that's been acquired and accomplished... for some.
So, if you know that your Christmas is going to be a whammy deluxe, triple action, chrome plated special, complete with winter air in the tires, and purple go fast energy efficient lighting, then this article may not be for you.
For those that aren't so optimistic, perhaps something in this article may help.
To begin with, emotions run high this time of year. For many, these emotions are of the positive variety, and jokes and laughter, coupled with pleasant feelings towards others are the norm. But what about those people that are less than enthusiastic about the coming holidays; such as those that book an appointment for the sole purpose of getting help in order to feel better about Christmas?
Memories and emotions are closely aligned, and Christmas is but a trigger to relive old hurts, regrets and disappointments. It is for these people this article is written, in hopes of offering a chance to enjoy this festive season in spite of what has occurred in the past, and has somehow become associated with Christmas in the mind.
If you really have decided that this year, things will be different, then let me offer a few tips to help you along.
By now, you are probably somewhat familiar with the tapping technique... the tool designed to disconnect a negative emotional sensation from events, circumstances and situations, be they in the now, or attached to memories. Of all the techniques or tools that I've been introduced to over the years, the tapping has proved itself over and over again to be an excellent tool for having a jolly Christmas... if you apply it. :-)
I had one client that had quite a bit of negativity associated with Christmas, he had lost a sister on Dec. 23rd some years ago. He lost a home to a fire on Dec. 14th a few years later, and now has a child with permanent scars as a result. He was suicidal when we first met, and after listening to his history, it wasn't difficult to understand why.
After gathering a certain amount of information, I asked him the following. "Harry you have suffered through some terrible tragedies in your life, and most of them became associated with Christmas. If you had a technique that would help you to separate the two, how would Christmas be then?"
"Well, I think it would be impossible," he began, "I have a lovely wife, and three healthy kids, and I know they'd appreciate it." After a pause, he added, "They seem to be able to just put those things on hold; they really seem to enjoy themselves. Then they look at me, and, well, I just think they'd be better off without me."
I had Harry access the fire, and tapped a round for "This loss, this loss."
After he explained how the fire occurred, we tapped for, "This stupidity, this stupidity." We then tapped for, "This guilt for causing burn scars on my child." Then, "This shame for hurting my child," and finally, "This blame and fault (regarding the fire)."
Harry insisted on returning the next day, so Berit made it happen. We elicited and cleared all the emotions regarding the loss of his sister (Harry had invited her for Christmas and the car accident occurred as she drove down from the north country).
"Although my son says he's forgiven me for his scars, I think there is some resentment for him," Harry said. "Can I use this to help him?" "If he's okay with feeling better, why not?" I replied.
That was three Christmases ago. Harry contacts us each December to wish us a Merry Christmas, and let us know how well they are all doing, and usually adds a joke or two.
So, if you have decided watching Auntie Bertha doing a face plant in the punch bowl once again should be funny, then tap out the embarrassment or the resentment. If you find yourself waltzing once again down memory lane and find yourself tripping over the speed bumps along the way, tap them until they're gone.
Is it possible to experience some tragedy and still have a good time at Christmas, count your blessings, and appreciate them at the same time? The answer is yes, and all you have to do is decide.
Merry Christmas!
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Christmas Q & A
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
Sandy Claus!
How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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 A Very Special
Christmas Cake Recipe
Ingredients:
2 cups flour
1 stick butter
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
2 bottles wine
2 cups of dried fruit
Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner... if the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat or dog.
Go to your favourite bakery and buy a cake.
Bingle Jells!
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Top Ten Uses For Fruitcake
10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.
9. Use instead of sand bags during El Nino.
8. Send to U.S. Air Force, let troops drop them.
7. Use as railroad ties.
6. Use as speed bumps to foil the neighborhood drag racers.
5. Collect ten and use them as bowling pins.
4. Use instead of cement shoes.
3. Save for next summer's garage sale.
2. Use slices in next skeet-shooting competition.
1. Two words: pin cushion.
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Berit's Corner
Warning: Not the Usual Advice for the Holidays!
By now most of us have probably read and heard all the well meaning advice about how we should behave during the holidays. I, for one, think we should do the opposite. What prompted me toward this thinking was the following.
I was reading a very well known and popular magazine and came across an "advice" column written by a popular psychologist. Now, I understand and appreciate that he's coming from the right place, has the best of intentions and feels that he is offering advice that can really help people. And, I'm sure it does help some. But, in my opinion some of his suggestions miss the mark a bit and if it was really just a case of doing as he suggests there would be a lot more happy family gatherings during the holidays than there really are.
So, I thought I'd put on my Unsolicited Advice Hat and offer the following.
The Doctor (psychologist writing in the magazine) suggests if you are on a diet and feel pressured to eat a big decadent meal at Christmas, you should bring your own food and tell the hostess/host you don't want to over-indulge.
I think that would go over as well as a lead balloon. My simple advice: Eat as much as you want!
The Doctor says the way to prevent yourself from burning out with all the preparations you have to do, is to refocus your priorities.
You do not have to do everything. My simple advice: Get help - that's what kids, relatives, friends and spouses are for!
The Doctor says that if your family always ends up fighting over silly issues when they get together over the holidays you should tell them to schedule a meeting before or after the holidays to discuss their gripes.
My simple advice: Don't invite the ones you know that will cause trouble, and/or get new relatives!
By now you may be thinking that I'm just being an old grouch and don't have the right spirit for the holidays. I beg to differ. My spirit provides me with the strength, energy and yes, good cheer to enjoy the holidays.
During the other 364 days of the year I wouldn't put up with bad behaviour from anyone, including a family member. I also don't run myself ragged to put on an event. So, why would I do any of that at Christmas? My thinking is that Christmas is a magical time; a time to be with loved ones, share in their good company and indulge ourselves a bit. If that means we eat too much because it's soooo good, so what?! Maybe we have a wee bit too much wine, so what?! It's a holiday and we're supposed to have fun and indulge ourselves a little bit. Please note: I said "wee bit too much wine" -- I'm not advocating getting drunk, nor should anyone drink and drive!
In my opinion there's nothing wrong with indulging a little bit and treating ourselves one day a year. We can go back to watching our weight, eating appropriately, watching our alcoholic intake, and all the other proper stuff we do the other 364 days of the year.
Also, I have a few more thoughts on people behaving badly - I'm very black and white about this. I won't invite someone that I know will act out, and I also won't go somewhere that I know one of these people will also be attending. Does that make me selfish or not nice? I don't think so. I believe it makes me smart. :-) I see no point in subjecting myself to any unpleasantness (especially during the holidays). And especially if I know that someone is going to be there and there's a good chance of that person misbehaving. Life is really too short to be hanging out with grumpy, negative, unhappy, and/or unpleasant people.
So, there you have it - my simple advice: Eat, drink and be merry!
You can decide to have a truly lovely Christmas and then go ahead and make it happen. I know you can do it!
My sincerest wish for all of you is to have a truly happy, fun-filled and magical holiday.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Until 2010,
Take care.
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Volume 16, No. 12
December 2009
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Upcoming Workshops
We will be continuing our EFT workshops in 2010 starting with EFT Fundamentals in Jan., EFT Intermediate in Feb., and EFT Advanced in Mar. Workshop dates will be posted on our website and in Reflections at the end of Dec. 2009
For those of you interested in EFT certification, this will be the perfect opportunity to be certified in EFT by the Spring!
To see the content of our workshops
click here.
For
details on our
Certified Practitioner
Program click here
Fees, Location & Other Registration Information
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