Reflections Newsletter
"People are not broken and in need of fixing... most people are just fine. They may simply need a tune-up."
Dr. Alexander R. Lees
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Editor's Note - In This Issue:
Hello Everyone - Welcome to our new look!
We are going high-tech... at least high-tech for us. We have signed up with a company called Constant Contact and our newsletter will be automatically sent out by them each month. Just so you have no worries, your name and email address will be safe and secure. Confidentiality is as important to them as it is to us!
Signing up with Constant Contact and creating our new look, and the other forms, etc., we needed to create, all took longer than I thought it would and we ran into a few glitches. We think we've got the kinks worked out, but time ran out and so we don't have our regular columnist's articles or as many jokes or cartoons as normal.
So you have something to read... other than this :-) I've included one of Alex's previous articles. If you've read it before (and remember it) please skip to the jokes. If you're new to our newsletter... I hope you enjoy it.
Please email us your comments and feedback. The July edition (emailed at the end of June) will contain all the usual goodies... that's the plan anyway. :-)
Thanks for your patience and sending us your feedback!
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What Causes Low Self Esteem?
By Dr. Alexander R. Lees
To begin with, self esteem is the end result of an evaluation process, over time. This self evaluation will determine the "score" a person assigns to their performance in a variety of circumstances, situations and events they encounter in their daily lives. Self esteem therefore is the end result of self judgment, and in my experience, that judgment and evaluation can be a tad harsh.
Low self esteem, which can be quantified by a variety of tests, is a major factor in weight issues, lack of self confidence, business success (or lack of), and more often than not, is the silent virus that infects relationships. As there is such a long list of books written about the dire consequences of having low self esteem, I won't dwell on that aspect here, but prefer to guide you in a direction of what can be done about it.
To begin, one needs a clear and reasonably precise understanding of what causes low self esteem in order to do something about it, so let's start with that.
We think. We think about tons of stuff. One of those "things" we think about is our performance, our reactions in a variety of different situations. These thoughts then turn into chemistry, a language the body can understand. Negative thoughts, especially about self, produce negative signals to the body.
We end up feeling "bad." Even though feeling bad is really a feedback loop, that is the body in turn signals our awareness about the consequences of these messages, we misconstrue this feedback, and send even more negative signals right back to the body.
One way some find to "feel better," to interrupt this cybernetic loop is to misuse alcohol (self medicate). Others turn to food. Again, one can continue to dwell on the consequences of low self esteem, or they can loop back to:
Low self esteem is caused by negative thoughts about self over time.
Now, once you do that, then the question becomes, "Okay, what can I do about this habit of beating myself up to the point that I feel bad, uncomfortable, unworthy, non deserving, etc., etc.?" The answer is to cancel the thoughts. Delete them. Stop doing it. Change your mind. Be kinder to YOU.
OK, you might say, and now the question becomes How?
Wait for the drum roll please... and.... Enter EFT!
Begin by setting aside some segment of time daily to evaluate or notice your thoughts, form a sentence that describes the negative thought, and using the setup words, begin tapping the PR point. For example:
"Even though I tell myself I really screwed up (describe situation),
I deeply and completely accept myself."
Repeat this setup phrase three times.
Then, starting with the eyebrow point, tap each point of the basic recipe using a reminder phrase derived from the problem's description. Sometimes, you may have to do several rounds on a stubborn negative thought, so perseverance is the key here. Other times, the unwanted thought simply disappears, or is reduced to a level deemed inconsequential. Now move onto the next thought, and so on for the time you feel best. Make this a daily practise, and soon you will begin to enjoy the results of increased self esteem.
Be warned, however. This daily practise will result in a cybernetic loop, that is you will feel better, which gives rise to more pleasant thoughts, which in turn produces more feel better, and you just may put the self help authors out of business!
Of course, they can always switch to writing books about how to be a better servant to your cat, or how to let your dog train you to be a good master, so things will carry on as always. You will just feel better, overall, daily, and enjoying yourself now is a small penalty to pay for all the work you did, isn't it?
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To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice!
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask If they want fries with that.
4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks . Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
5. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
6. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
7. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To Go'.
8. Sing along at the Opera.
9. Five days In advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
10. When the money comes out the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
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Clever Japanese Invention
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Berit's Corner
I just can't resist putting in one Maxine...
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Volume 16, No. 06
June 2009
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Upcoming Workshops
We will post our Fall/Winter Workshop Schedule in August 2009.
(We don't do any workshops over the summer.) You can read all the details about our workshop by clicking the links below.
EFT
- Fundamentals
Learn More
EFT
- Intermediate
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EFT - Advanced
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EFT
Practitioner
NEW workshop
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For
details on our
Certified Practitioner
Program click here
Fees, Location & Other Registration Information
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