| Workshops & Speaking Engagements |
Starting NEXT Week!
Empowered Parent Workshop
for
Parents of Preschoolers
May 26, June 2, 9, 16
Location to be Announced
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 June 215:30 p.m.
The Myths & Realities of Happiness: At Work, At Home and In Life
New Hanover Regional Medical Center, Wilmington, NC
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Fran 's Recent Presentations:
 Fran enjoying a moment with Kimberlie Lewis of Island Women in Businss after her presentation "Life is a Choice?"
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Fran and Robin Robinson after Fran's two-part presentation, "Happiness, Choice and Love" at First Presbyterian Church in Wilmington, NC. Congrats to Robin for her recent win in the primary!
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Teachers at Fran's recent workshop in Palo Alto, California
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Interested in booking Fran to speak to your group?
Email Fran or call her at 763-1888 ext. 17. |
| Is Coaching for YOU? |
Contact Fran for a Free Consultation to see how Coaching can work for you! |
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Fran's Favorites |
Greater Good Science Center The Greater Good Science Center is an interdisciplinary research center devoted to the scientific understanding of happy and compassionate individuals, strong social bonds, and altruistic behavior. While serving the traditional tasks of a UC Berkeley research center-fostering groundbreaking scientific discoveries-the GGSC is unique in its commitment to helping people apply scientific research to their lives.
The Partnership for a Drug-Free America is a nonprofit organization that unites parents, renowned scientists and communications professionals to help families raise healthy children. The Partnership motivates & helps parents guide their children away from using drugs and alcohol, and to find assistance and treatment for family and friends in trouble.
Wilmington CHADD
For support for parents and adults with ADHD, a great place to connect with others who understand.
For health & fitness, check out the classes offered by Shawn Manning, undoubtedly the best fitness instructor in the area - for real! You can check out my own testimonny on her website.
Pomegranate Books For books, a moment to slow down, a cup of tea, and a chat with Kathleen Jewell, physician, book store owner and person extraordinaire.
For the best info, tips and calendar of events for parents of tots, kids, 'tweens & teens.
Join the YWCA in making a difference! Great programs for all ages. |
| Get the Latest! |
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Greetings!
Dr. Fred Luskin  |
On the well-being front, I just completed a wonderful day-long workshop at UC Berkeley with Frederic Luskin and Jack Kornfield, two of the world's leading experts on forgiveness. Do you find yourself holding a grudge, unwilling to forgive, unable to quit blaming the person who hurt you? Do you spend a lot of time replaying the hurt in your mind or telling over & over the story of transgression to others? Ready to stop?
What I learned from these leaders in the field is that forgiveness is a process. Is it worth the effort? Absolutely! Take a look at the recent documented research, compiled by Dr. Luskin, that should provide us all with ample reason to take the first step . . .
Dr. Jack Kornfield |
1) People who are more forgiving report fewer health problems.
2) Forgiveness leads to less stress.
3) Forgiveness leads to fewer physical symptoms of stress.
4) Failure to forgive may be more important than hostility as a risk factor for heart disease.
5) People who blame other people for their troubles have higher incidences of illnesses such as cardiovascular disease and cancers.
6) People who imagine not forgiving someone show negative changes in blood pressure, muscle tension, and immune response.
7) People who imagine forgiving their offender note immediate improvement in their cardiovascular, muscular and nervous systems.
8) Even people with devastating losses can learn to forgive and feel better psychologically and emotionally.
And by Frederick Buechner, a short passage on the subject . . .
Of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun.
To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back - in many ways it is a feast fit for a king.
The chief drawback is what you are wolfing down is yourself.
The skeleton at the feast is you.
Look for more to come on the subject of forgiveness - workshop in the making!
If you'd like to let go of your grudges now and learn the skills required in the process of forgiveness, send me an email.
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On the Parenting Front . . .
Worried that your teen is lying to you? You can count on it! 96% of teens lie. And, according to the current research as reported in the book Nurture Shock by Bronson and Merryman, here's what they lie about:
What they spend their allowance on
Whether they've started dating
What clothes they put on after they leave the house
What movie they went to and with whom
Sex, alcohol and drug use
Whether they're hanging out with friends their parents disapprove of
How they spend their afternoons, if the parent is still at work
Whether a chaperone was in attendance at a party
Whether they rode in a car driven by a drunken teen
Whether their homework is done
What music they are listening to
Why do teens lie? Most of us would think that it's to stay out of trouble. Researchers are finding otherwise. The most common reason for deception was, "I'm trying to protect the relationship with my parents; I don't want them to be disappointed in me."
So, what's a parent to do? Be more permissive with the hope that your teen will feel free to open up? No. Actually, the more permissive, the more the teen lies. So, does that mean it's time to clamp down with a bunch of rules? No, again. Typically, the household with a long list of rules is one where the rules don't get enforced - it's just too hard to keep up with it all. And, the teens in a rule-heavy household just wind up sneaking around behind their parents' back, or perhaps, worse, they wind up obedient but depressed.
Somewhere in the middle seems to be optimal. According to the researchers, "the types of parents who are actually most consistent in enforcing rules are the same parents who are most warm and have the most conversations with their kids. They've set a few rules over certain key spheres of influence, and they've explained why the rules are there. They expect the child to obey them. Over life's other spheres, they supported the child's autonomy, allowing her freedom to make her own decisions. The kids of these parents lied the least. Rather than hiding twelve areas from their parents, they might be hiding as few as five."
If you're struggling to find the right balance, give me a call or send me an email. I'd love to help you develop a great relationship with your teen.
All the best,
Fran |
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Fran's Positive Parenting Column Expands to Brunswick County! | |
If you rue the day video games
made their way into your house, check out Fran's Positive Parenting column in the May
issue of Wilmington Parent Magazine and the new Brunswick Parent Magazine. Find them on newsstands at your local grocery store.
If you have questions you'd like answered in the 'Positive Parenting' column , send Fran an email. Look forward to hearing from you!
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Prom is Over . . . Graduation Night Still Ahead | | WHAT YOU CAN DO
From Time to Talk @ Drug Free Prom season is fast approaching, and for many teens, this time of year offers a taste of new freedoms and the temptation to engage in risky behavior. A new study of 11th and 12th grade students from across the country shows that teens don't recognize the dangers of driving on prom and graduation night, even though they recognize their peers may be more likely to drink on these occasions. Nearly all of the students surveyed, 90 percent, reported that their peers are more likely to drink on prom night and 79 percent reported the same for graduation night. Despite believing that their peers are more likely to drink during prom and graduation, only 29 percent reported that they believe driving on prom night is dangerous, while 25 percent said the same for graduation night.
The study surveyed over 2,500 students and was conducted by ORC Guideline for Liberty Mutual and Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD).
To keep celebrations safe and healthy, here are some helpful tips and advice for parents and caregivers:
Know Your Teens' Plans and tell them to update you if the itinerary changes so you're aware of their whereabouts.
Check In With Them Via Text - they are more likely to reply, since it's discreet. You can send messages like "Hope ur having a gr8 time!" or "U OK?" before and after the dance.
Trust Your Teens and resist the urge to hover. You've filled them in on the rules and the risks - chances are they got the message. |
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Dedicated to supporting clients who want more success in life and relationships.
Fran Rudolph, M.A.
Certified Family & Life Coach
Tel. 910-763-1888 ext. 17
Fax 910-763-3311 |
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