| Upcoming Speaking Engagements |
First Presbyterian Church
125 South 3rd Street
Wilmington, NC
Happiness, Choice & Love
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May 14
Palo Alto Community Child Care
Palo Alto, California
11:45 - 1:15
What Kids Need from Us Now: Listening & Respect
2:30 - 4:00
Helping Kids Become Responsible: Supporting without Rescuing
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5:30 p.m.
The Myths & Realities of Happiness: At Work, At Home and In Life
New Hanover Regional Medical Center, Wilmington, NC
Interested in booking Fran to speak to your group?
Email Fran or call her at 763-1888 ext. 17. |
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One Client Says . . . |
"The art of discovering, building, and/or maintaining relationships has never been one of my talents. Despite this fact, I've been lucky enough to have one very close person in my life. So when this very special relationship started showing signs of stagnation, fear and concern drove me to your coaching program. The benefit of the program was that it did not look to analyze past problems encountered by our relationship. Instead the program focused on building better skills in the present - how to better recognize our needs, how to adapt our behaviors, and how to communicate more clearly. Moreover, it has created an awareness of the choices I have at my disposal for improving all of my relationships, not just my closest one. Thank you, Fran."
April 2010 |
| Is Coaching for YOU? |
Contact Fran for a Free Consultation to see how Coaching can work for you! |
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Fran's Favorites |
Greater Good Science Center The Greater Good Science Center is an interdisciplinary research center devoted to the scientific understanding of happy and compassionate individuals, strong social bonds, and altruistic behavior. While serving the traditional tasks of a UC Berkeley research center-fostering groundbreaking scientific discoveries-the GGSC is unique in its commitment to helping people apply scientific research to their lives.
The Partnership for a Drug-Free America is a nonprofit organization that unites parents, renowned scientists and communications professionals to help families raise healthy children. The Partnership motivates & helps parents guide their children away from using drugs and alcohol, and to find assistance and treatment for family and friends in trouble.
Wilmington CHADD
For support for parents and adults with ADHD, a great place to connect with others who understand.
For health & fitness, check out the classes offered by Shawn Manning, undoubtedly the best fitness instructor in the area - for real! You can check out my own testimonny on her website.
Pomegranate Books For books, a moment to slow down, a cup of tea, and a chat with Kathleen Jewell, physician, book store owner and person extraordinaire.
For the best info, tips and calendar of events for parents of tots, kids, 'tweens & teens.
Join the YWCA in making a difference! Great programs for all ages. |
| Get the Latest! |
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Greetings!
On the well-being front, I offer a small sample of scientific evidence for looking to gratitude to help you become a happier and healthier you.
In the book Nurture Shock, Bronson and Merryman report the following. . .
"Dr. Robert Emmons, of the University of California at Davis, asked college students to keep a gratitude journal - over ten weeks, the undergrads listed five things that had happened in the last week which they were thankful for. The results were surprisingly powerful - the students who kept the gratitude journal were 25% happier, were more optimistic about the future, and got sick less often during the controlled trial. They even got more exercise."
Give the gratitude journal a try. Send me an email and let me know how it goes!
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On the Parenting Front . . .
Over the past few years, I've talked a lot about praise and how detrimental it can be. Finally, some research to back me up. Check out this latest, from Nurture Shock by Bronson and Merryman. . .
"By the age of twelve, children believe that earning praise from a teacher is not a sign you did well - it's actually a sign you lack ability and the teacher thinks you need extra encouragement. They've picked up the pattern: kids who are falling behind get drowned in praise."
"Praised students become risk-averse and lack perceived autonomy. Scholars found consistent correlations between a liberal use of praise and students' "shorter task persistence, more eye-checking with the teacher, and inflected speech such that answers have the intonation of questions."
"When they get to college, heavily-praised students commonly drop out of classes rather than suffer a mediocre grade, and they have a hard time picking a major - they're afraid to commit to something because they're afraid of not succeeding."
"Frequently-praised children get more competitive and more interested in tearing others down. Image-maintenance becomes their primary concern. In one study, students are given two puzzle tests. Between the first and the second, they are offered a choice between learning a new puzzle strategy for the second test or finding out how they did compared with other students on the first test: they have only enough time to do one or the other. Students praised for intelligence choose to find out their class rank, rather use the time to prepare."
"In another study, students get a do-it-yourself report card and are told these forms will be mailed to students at another school - they'll never meet these students and won't know their names. Of the kids praised for their intelligence, 40 percent lie, inflating their scores. Of the kids praised for effort, few lie."
So, what should we be saying if praise is now taboo? Well, not all praise is bad. We just need to change the focus from the general "You're so smart," "I'm so proud of you," "You're a great athlete," to the more specific "You concentrated hard on your math homework, without even taking a break," "You seemed to really be working hard to set up some passes in today's soccer match," and "You closely followed the science homework directions today; I wonder if that is what helped you move along with it so quickly."
Is it easy? No. But, it's worth it. Give it a try,send me an email and let me know how it goes!
All the best,
Fran |
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Not so happy with your child's choice in friends? | |
 If you're worried or concerned about the negative influence a friendship seems to be having on your child, c heck out Fran's Positive Parenting column in the April issue of Wilmington Parent Magazine. Find it on newsstands at your local grocery store.
If you have questions you'd like answered in the 'Positive Parenting' column , send Fran an email. Look forward to hearing from you!
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Dedicated to supporting clients who want more success in life and relationships.
Fran Rudolph, M.A.
Certified Family & Life Coach
Tel. 910-763-1888 ext. 17
Fax 910-763-3311 |
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