When we judge, we are saying that someone is doing something wrong. When we use 'wrong' as the evaluation point, there is nowhere to go but down. When we apply our standards and beliefs to someone else, we are actually saying we know what is best for them. How could that be possible? How can we possibly know another person so completely that we understand all the components of their thoughts, experiences, wants, needs, desires and their calling to say, we know best? How can our way, be the way time after time, after time. Everyone has their own path, when we judge we are standing in someone's path, blocking their way.  

When we judge, we are looking at others through our 'right' screen making it impossible for them to meet our standards. They will always be wrong about something. When we apply our impossibly high standards to others, we inflict that perfection on ourselves too. We create a world where everyone is constantly failing. There is no happiness in that world. It is our discomfort with others actions, decisions and choices that makes us go down the judgment path. It is that discomfort that makes us lash out or make an attempt to correct the situation. In judgment we try to 'fix' someone or have them see or do something in a manner that is comfortable for us. We are trying to regain our footing.  It is in this state of constant disappointment that we alienate others and more and more, you find yourself alone asking why is everyone failing me?  After all I have done for...I am only doing the right thing...or offering unsolicited 'advice' for someone's own good.  Chances are, we are all probably guilty of this.  It is hard to step aside and let someone be and own the outcome.

It is time to flip the switch. If we acknowledge our judgment and challenge it, it creates the opportunity to learn and grow. If we take one step in suspending our need to 'know' for others, it gives them the opportunity to step into their calling. If we let go of the language of judgment (why didn't you...you don't really want to...what I would have done) and insert the language of possibility (what have you tried so far that has worked...that showed courage...what do you think is best for you), it creates the space for moving forward without the need for imposed perfection. It gives you the opportunity to gain a new perspective.  They own the action and the outcome. That is empowerment. That is love.