Last year, my 8 year old daughter was diagnosed with leukemia. Now, I know that every mother says this, but my daughter is truly as perfect as a human being could be. She is sweet, kind, generous, caring and compassionate. She had always wanted to work at NASA when she grew up so that she could save the environment, mankind and the world.

 So here's my question: Why would G-d hit such a perfect child? Wouldn't He want her to save the world? Why must she suffer, and never be able to fulfil her dream to help humanity?

Answer:

My heart reaches out to you in what must be a most painful and heart-wrenching time. There are no words that can take away the pain and no explanations that can satisfy a heart grieving for the life that could have been for your daughter.

I join you in protesting your daughter's undeserved suffering, together with the suffering of all innocent people. I do not believe that G-d wants us to defend the suffering of innocents. He may have His reasons, but that is His business. Our business is to oppose and relieve the suffering of innocent people wherever we can.

G-d is ultimately responsible for allowing undeserved pain to exist. But we must also recognise that G-d is the source of life itself, and life is also undeserved. Nobody earned the right to live, and nobody gained life on their own. G-d is responsible for suffering, but He is also responsible for life in the first place.

So just as we can ask, "What did this girl do to deserve so much suffering?", we can also ask, "What did we do to deserve such a beautiful soul as this girl?" The very fact that such a shining soul came down to this world is a gift. For whatever reason, this soul had to go through the darkest of journeys, and yet her soul is the brightest of souls. Just as we are pained by her suffering, we must also be thankful for her goodness. G-d caused that too.

Every life has to be seen as a whole, a package. The good and the bad, the painful and the beautiful, these things cannot be separated. They are all intrinsic to the soul's identity, and to its journey in this lifetime. You can't have the talents without the challenges, and you can't have the beauty without the pain. Your daughter's fine qualities and her terrible suffering - this is her soul.

Why is this so? Why can't it be different? Only G-d knows. And the truth is, we don't want to know the answer to that. We don't want an explanation for pain, we just want an end to it. In the meantime, all we can do is be thankful for life. And be thankful for the gift that we have been given, the soul of your daughter, who has and will continue to bring goodness and light to the world.

At NASA they will tell you how small and insignificant our planet earth is in the whole scheme of the universe. But there are some things that they will never discover anywhere else in the universe: the unconditional love of a mother for her child, the indomitable spirit of the human being to stand up to adversity, and the simple yet infinite power that humans have to give, to care, to love and to do good for each other.

 I wish you, your daughter and all your loved ones strength and courage to face the challenges ahead, and we pray for her complete recovery.

This week's Torah portion speaks about various physical blemishes and conditions which can afflict a person.

The Talmud, in the tractate Negaim which deals with these types of blemishes and conditions, notes that "a person sees all kinds of blemishes except for their own."

The story is told of a prominent doctor who was known for his generosity but was also prone to blowing his own trumpet.

One day he was traveling when he saw the local rabbi walking. He stopped to offer the rabbi a ride. As they traveled together, the doctor, as was his wont, began to speak about his achievements. "You know, Rabbi, I get a lot of patients who can't afford to pay but I never turn them away. I treat them exactly the same as my wealthier patients."

"I also do that," replied the rabbi.

The doctor figured that perhaps the rabbi was referring to the spiritual counsel he gave his spiritual "patients." "Also," he continued, "a lot of times patients need expensive drugs. If they can't afford it, I provide them for free."

"I also do that," rejoined the rabbi.

Maybe he means that sometimes he gives people material help also, the doctor thought. "Sometimes people need days of post-operative care. I give it to them voluntarily, even though I have so little time."

"I also do that."

So it went, the doctor continuing to lavish praise on himself while the rabbi answered each time, "I also do that."

Eventually the doctor couldn't take it anymore and he asked the rabbi: "Rabbi, I don't understand. You're not a doctor, how can you do all these things?"

"No, all I meant was I also do that - I also only talk about my own good qualities!"

The Baal Shem Tov, founder of the Chassidic movement, taught us that another person is like a mirror--if we find ourselves noticing faults in others, it is because they exist within ourselves. This is not such a foreign concept--it is common in psychological terms to speak of one person "projecting" their own faults onto another. It is incumbent upon us to realize that when we see a fault in somebody else, it is only because we need to work on that very fault within ourselves. As the Talmud and the above story illustrate, we tend not to notice our own faults except in others!

The whole world is a mirror designed to show us how we can work on ourselves and our own deficiencies. Once we realize this, and we understand that the fault we see in another person is just the way in which Divine Providence shows us our own shortcomings, it becomes a lot easier to be tolerant and understanding of others.